Keeping it secret - what excuse did you use at work?

[vjlive 0]

When I decided to have the surgery, of course my husband knew and I also told my two teenage children. When my husband couldn't come with me I decided I didn't want to go alone so I told one of my best friends. Well in order for her to go she told her husband who threw a fit. Mexico?!! Just the reactions I was avoiding. She told her mom too. So much for not telling anyone. But I hardly ever see her mom so no big deal. At work I just told my supervisor I was having hernia repair (a lie but I felt it was necessary) Other than her no one else knows. I haven't seen anyone in my family since surgery and will still keep it quiet with them until I am confident in how it is working. (I am almost 2 weeks post op)

Hope this helps.

Val

Banded 3-8-07 Dr. Ortiz

Pounds lost so far 15

[urbrdfs 0]

I decided not to discuss it with anyone at my office and only told my best friend,and my daughter in case something should go wrong. Since I am a single parent, I made sure my friend had a copy of my will, insurance papers etc.

I requested time off from work because of "minor" surgery and when I was given a little bit of a hassle I simply asked if I needed to bring a doctor's excuse in. I was told no and given the week off. Everyone at work simply thought I had taken some time off. I had researched the lapband for 2 years, knew it was for me and since I would be self-pay decided to go to Mexico to have it done. I did not desire to hear all the negative comments that people are just gonna give....esp about going out of the country. I do not regret my choice. It has been 1 1/2 years later and 90 lbs gone. I have told a few people that continue to question my weight loss. However, like others have said they have seen us all diet, go up and down so they simple think it is another one of those things....All has worked out well. I just told my family Christmas (a year later).

Everyone has to do what is best for them. I have seen people tell immediate family, friends, co-workers and they were talked out of having the surgery completely or simply scared into not having it. I just did not want to deal with all of that.

[Hazelbunny 0]

I am a stay at home mom but I didn't tell anyone but my Mom, my DH, and my best friend.

With my other friends I just said that I was having surgery to have scar tissue removed from prior surgeries. Which was the truth since they did that while they were in there - just a half truth.

[ChinaMom 0]

I've thought about this alot. A big thing for me was having to go the information session put on by the surgical group I plan to use - I called them Friday morning, they said you HAVE to come to our seminar before we can make an office appt. and we have a seminar TODAY at 2 pm. so I emailed my boss and told him that I needed to see my doc and they had an opening that afternoon so I had to leave for the day. I think my insurance requires certain steps before they approve the surgery, and I think attending one of these sessions is part of that process. so I considered it a necessary doc appt.

I have two bosses. one, like me, lost her husband at a young age (her husband was 37 and had a heart attack, mine 40, cancer - hers two years before mine). she has three young kids, I have one. she is perfectly cool and understanding about everything. she is also petite and probably weighs 90 pounds soaking wet. the other boss is a man, divorced with three kids, the year my husband was diagnosed his wife left him, and he cut my raise because I had so many unplanned absences being out at appts. or at the hospital with my husband. he actually said to me "my marriage died but I haven't missed time off from work." yep. he also told me to keep my personal life out of work. my husband and my mom have died in the last two years and he said that to me? yet, every day, I have to hear about his kids basketball games, their car accident, their illnesses, and three days out of five he leaves early for a kid sporting event or to bail the older one out from a flat tire or because one of them is sick. he made me order flowers for some sick friend of his and then called me into his office to listen to her voice mail thanking him for the flowers. I'm actually journaling all of this in case he ever makes a comment again about my personal life.

now, would I tell HIM? MR. JUDGMENTAL? MR. SELF-CENTERED? NO!!! but the female boss, YES. she wasn't here the day I left early, but she asked me on Monday if I left because she tried to call me and I wasn't here. I said I'm sorry, let me tell you where I went. She listened, looked at me, said I heard about that lap band, and it sounds good to me - go for it.

anyway, I have a ton of sick leave, and I don't want to burn up vacation time for this. if I miss more than three days of work (I think) I have to get FMLA "to protect my job" and to protect me from the attitude of weenie boss (that's my code name I use with my friends). but he doesn't see the FMLA forms, it goes straight to our HR dept. and is confidential. this summer, when I plan to do the surgery, I'll have four weeks of sick leave. I plan to take at least two and maybe three of them. in six months I'll get them all back if I haven't had an additional full day of sick leave. I want to make sure I've got my strength back and I want to use the time to relax, regroup, and get my head really focused on my new lifestyle. So I'm going to take every day of sick leave that my surgeon will say I need.

it's not that I'm ASHAMED of what I'm doing, but I have learned that I don't need the validation or approval of people who have no idea what this is about - having a law degree does not make them an expert on all things in life - and only ME can make decisions for myself. sometimes I think people talk about these sort of things because they are looking for encouragement. The only close family member I have beside my five year old daughter is my 77 year old dad, and he is fully supporting me. that's all I need -and I don't even need that. it's just nice to have.

and if people remark on my weight loss, I plan to smile and say "it's about time, don't you think?". I've gained alot of this weight through the stresses I've been through in the last three or four years and everyone knows it.

Karen

[Rockn4u 1]

I'm just going to tell them I'm Training to be a Figure Skater, in the Olympics!!!

[shelley_timmins 0]

Hi, I had the surgery done in may last year. I was quiet open about it, at work and with friends. To be honest it stops peoples mind wondering and asking you so many questions as to why your not eating properly and why your losing weight. I just found it easier to tell the truth and if people want to judge from there then thats up to them. Im so happy with my surgery. I had the surgery done last year and i feel great.

A lot of people said i was to young (at 21 years old) but its my choice and its the best thing ive done. I feel great!

[sky 0]

hi everyone

I was banded august 3, 06. I my husband knows. my mom took

care of the kids. I told everyone I was having my fibrod removed.

I been on diets for two years and have lost , but after my last baby

the weight just would not come off. to this day only my husband knows.

[LJS69 0]

I work 1 week off and 1 week on, so I scheduled the surgery for a week that I knew I would have off. But I still haven't told anyone at work. Why can't you just say that you are planning a vacation or need to do some spring cleaning, home repairds, etc. My biggest worry was that it would only be a matter of time before people would start to notice I was losing weight and what would I say?? My plan is to say that I rejoined Weight Watchers. Which would also help when it came to food at the work place (cake, pizza etc). I would allow 7 days off, you feel okay after about 4/5 days but very tired and I took a lot of naps (not normally a napper).

[losingjusme 12]

i was very open and honest about it as well. i didnt want the guessing games and i am a horrible fibber.

it's great, everyone encourages me and is great about it.

[AnnaB6 1]

I only told my managers. How did all of you handle your meals at work? I work in retail and on a register all day with only a fifteen minute break. Your advice would help alot. :biggrin1:

[Marsene 0]

I told my parents, they are watching my daughter. I told my daughter (she's 16) that I was having surgery, but not precisely when. I told 2 close friends.

My employees I left an air of mystery, I told my key employee that I was having minor surgery.

I told everyone else that I was going to Tijuana to meet my cabana boy.

Marsene.

PS Wating in the airport. Tomorrow is my B(and) Day!

[marjon9 6]

I told everyone I was a crack addict going to rehab.

[Marsene 0]

That's a good one Mark! I like your quote - except for the part about dinner. Can't think about food - only slimfast.

Marsene:clap2:

[Karlee 0]

I did not tell anyone at work I told my boss that I was having surgery and needed the time off that's it... a few people ask and I said it was nothing major just something I have been suffering with for a long time and decided it was time to fix the problem.....kinda of true...

[Davyna 0]

My work was tipped off when they asked me for a doctor's note... the note my doctor's office gave me had "GASTRIC BAND SPECIALISTS" written in bold letters across the top. :tired

I told my former mother-in-law I was just "having surgery." Granted, I've known her for about 15 years and I talk to her every week because of my son, she is my FORMER mother-in-law and I just didn't WANT to tell her. She actually had the nerve to tell my mother IN FRONT OF ME that she was "INSULTED" that I didn't tell her what kind of surgery. So for some people, telling them that you're having surgery apparently just isn't enough of an answer for them, and they are going to ask questions.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have told people I was having surgery to correct a "female" problem. They probably wouldn't have asked any questions about that.