the choice between life or death or vanity, help me decide.

[aliensoul77 0]

I am going through the process of trying to get the gastric bypass surgery right now, doing all the testing and I was very skeptical, you could even say I had a huge reason to be against this surgery. 10 years ago my Mom got the gastric bypass and died six months after from diabetes complications. They said it was diabetic ketoacidosis, partly because she lowered her insulin too fast without doctor approval but my Dad always blamed the surgery for it and I had a negative feeling about it since. 10 years have passed and my wife just got the surgery in Jan. Since late last year to now, she has lost a total of 75 pounds and she loves it. Of course things have changed, we have had to completely modify our eating habits and groceries we buy, she eats fat free sugar free everything now. Right after her surgery, she was in pain and could barely eat anything and was miserable for a few weeks but now she's fine. I feel like it is the right decision for me because I'm borderline diabetic, I have sleep apnea, my cholesterol is high, my blood pressure is high, I'm on all these pills. Not to mention I have a leg disease so all this extra weight is murder on my legs and I have to walk witha cane every day of my life and use pain pills just to get out of bed in the morning. I feel like it is a matter of life and death and most of my family members are supportive, it's just so called friends who act like I am doing this for vanity reasons. Because I want to be skinny and fit into some vision of society's idea of beauty. Not to mention I feel like I can't even tell my Dad (who lives out of state from me) because he is so paranoid and blames the surgery for killing my mother. What should I do? I mean I know the risks, there can be complications and a small percentage of people die from it but I'm only 35, I feel like my quality of life sucks, I'm stuck on disability and not able to put my college degree to good use because I need to do an internship for my psych degree but I need to be mobile. I can't be limping around and resting every 2 min.

[skylily 7]

Hi. It sounds like you already know what is right for you. You have your own life to live and you can't be worrying about what anyone else thinks, friends, or even your dad. Good luck with your future

[KellyLessBelly 31]

I am so sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. I can't imagine how painful that loss was to go through.

I too have people in my life who don't seem to grasp what living a day in my body is really like. The first doctor I ever had the nerve to ask about gastric bypass told me that they don't do the surgery for "vanity" reasons. That was around eight years ago and how I wish I hadn't settled for that answer! My health has only declined in that time & now I have no problem getting a doctor to suggest surgery.

What an accomplishment, huh?

Time on this earth is limited and I want to live and give all that I can. There are so many things I can't do with the limitations of this body. I have a family who deserve a healthier wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc. I have so much to live for and obesity is not on my side.

Decision made. Step aside fear, this girl is moving forward!

[oldoneyoungagain 200]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it does have to weigh heavy on your shoulders along with your father's feelings about the bypass. But in a Weight Loss Seminar last night someone asked about the percentages of death with all three surgeries. Actually the percentage was a little more than lapband (which has a larger failure rate and has to be removed) and think the sleeve is a little more than the band but less than bypass. But this was the shocker for me. The percentages of death from gallbladder surgery is even greater than all three. Also, it was stated that over 400,000 people die (world wide) per year from obesity related issues, so think those percentages are even greater than not having the surgery. In the end though whichever you chose, you are taking the right path. Good luck.

[BBdoodle 483]

So sorry for your loss. In my opinion I would go with the surgery, you are a adult who can make your own decisions. Before surgery my BP was boarder line high (130/90), my cholesterol was 210. I knew the road I was heading down and I did not want to go there. I am 1 yr. post op.. BP is 110/70 and cholesterol is 150. I can run a 12 minute mile but my goal is to run a 10 minute mile and hopefully after that a 9 minute mile.

I think you should have the surgery it is a tool to help you lose the weight and make the right decisions on Portion Control. You have to work with the surgery because surgery alone will not do it, it is the combo of diet, exercise and portion control that will make you a success. Good Luck !

[Cherry 71]

What is your weight and BMI????? I didn't notice that you posted it unless I missed it.