Relationship issues

[saramichelle 127]

Okay so I had my surgery on April 15 everything has gone quite well just the usual ups and downs I think. So far I've had pretty good weight loss and have been feeling pretty well except for yesterday I felt super sick to my tummy and today too. I e had a hard time eating and have pretty much been on the couch or sleeping. My youngest boys as sick last Friday so I think I may have gotten sick from him Well my partner of the last two years have been fighting like cats and dogs lately. She is frustrated with me being sick and I guess everything revolving around me and my new diet and my issues. I kind of get what she is saying as if it were the other way around I might feel the same way too. It's just so frustrating because what am I to do. I have to go through all these issues and deal with her grumpiness about it too. She said she is a little frustrated because I chose to do this and now I am having problems because of something I chose to do. Today we got into a big fight about cleaning because I always do it but needed help today. She apologized later but just wonder how much more of this I can take. Perhaps I am just being a it dramatic. I cry so easily lately. I hate it. I guess I am just venting here and thought maybe someone here could understand. I think we both know this will pass but are just having a hard time seeing that right now she wants to know when I'll get better and I don't know what to say. Thank you to all who actually taking the time to read this rant. I guess I'm just hoping for a few words of encouragement

[LeticiaHuggins 177]

So sorry you're going through this. I actually think your partner is being a little selfish and self centered. Trust me I know how she feels. I feel like my life revolves around my RNY but in actuality... It really does! This is a life altering surgery... It's not a temp thing... This is a really serious life long commitment that we've gotten ourselves in.

It's taking you a few decades to get use to living the way you did... She needs to allow you at least 12 months to get use to your new life.

I do feel for her... But dang she can cut you just a lil slack!

~Leticia **HW: 259**PreOp: 216**SURG: 3/21/13 **Discharged @: 221**6 weeks post op. CW: 191.0 lbs. ---ONE-DERLAND ---

[saramichelle 127]

Aww thanks for this! The encouragement means a lot to me. It is so true. Every thing does center around me right now but I do suppose it is very important to take some time caring for me:) thanks again!

[BBdoodle 483]

It does get better, it all takes time to work everything out. You had major surgery and you need time to rest and heal, everyone finds their groove at some point. What helped me was that I was/am a quick healer I was out of work for 1 wk and went back into the office for the morning then afternoons I work from home. I think once you get back into your regular routine things will fall into place. This is a major adjustment for everyone in your family, I hope it all works out for you !!

[Dorian 683]

Okay so I had my surgery on April 15 everything has gone quite well just the usual ups and downs I think. So far I've had pretty good weight loss and have been feeling pretty well except for yesterday I felt super sick to my tummy and today too. I e had a hard time eating and have pretty much been on the couch or sleeping. My youngest boys as sick last Friday so I think I may have gotten sick from him Well my partner of the last two years have been fighting like cats and dogs lately. She is frustrated with me being sick and I guess everything revolving around me and my new diet and my issues. I kind of get what she is saying as if it were the other way around I might feel the same way too. It's just so frustrating because what am I to do. I have to go through all these issues and deal with her grumpiness about it too. She said she is a little frustrated because I chose to do this and now I am having problems because of something I chose to do. Today we got into a big fight about cleaning because I always do it but needed help today. She apologized later but just wonder how much more of this I can take. Perhaps I am just being a it dramatic. I cry so easily lately. I hate it. I guess I am just venting here and thought maybe someone here could understand. I think we both know this will pass but are just having a hard time seeing that right now she wants to know when I'll get better and I don't know what to say. Thank you to all who actually taking the time to read this rant. I guess I'm just hoping for a few words of encouragement

I think your partner should be a little more supportive! You just had a major surgery, and regardless if it was your choice, you need some time to recover. You need to take care of you right now!

[kss31 103]

The therapist I had my screening with before surgery warned me that since I was going to change, every relationship I had would change, That this surgery impacts your life on a very large scale. So you two are probably just working out the kinks until your relationship changes and evolves with the new you. It only been 6 months and I ve lost a friend or two but this change was the best thing for me health wise. I am sure things will work out when you are healthier and can do more and you see the full benefits of the surgery.

[kristy3k 1,133]

Remember too that your fat will release a ton of hormones right now... So you are way more emotional now too.

[saramichelle 127]

Remember too that your fat will release a ton of hormones right now... So you are way more emotional now too.

Yes totally emotional. Very true!

[saramichelle 127]

Thank you all. I so needed to vent and you guys understood. Thanks for that support! I dont know what I'd do without this forum:)

[MrsLulu 69]

Totally understand. It seems like things change so quickly. RNY is a choice you made, but you did it to bring about a healthier you so you can be around for your family. I had surgery on 4/15 too. I felt that way until only a couple days ago. I was hurting all the time, couldn't do much and had to depend on others to do stuff for me. It was frustrating for me and them. Right now my hubby is feeling like this big change I have made is a step to finding a better life, but he is worried that means a life without him. We struggled for the first week because he was trying to keep the kids fed and taken care of which meant he ordered pizza or brought home other food I couldn't eat. I went for a walk a few nights because it was soooo hard to be in a house that smelled like pizza and not be able to eat. It is much better now, since I can do most things myself again. It is going to be fine, it is just a major change for everyone. Stick with it, get healthy, and enjoy your life together.

[saramichelle 127]

Totally understand. It seems like things change so quickly. RNY is a choice you made' date=' but you did it to bring about a healthier you so you can be around for your family. I had surgery on 4/15 too. I felt that way until only a couple days ago. I was hurting all the time, couldn't do much and had to depend on others to do stuff for me. It was frustrating for me and them. Right now my hubby is feeling like this big change I have made is a step to finding a better life, but he is worried that means a life without him. We struggled for the first week because he was trying to keep the kids fed and taken care of which meant he ordered pizza or brought home other food I couldn't eat. I went for a walk a few nights because it was soooo hard to be in a house that smelled like pizza and not be able to eat. It is much better now, since I can do most things myself again. It is going to be fine, it is just a major change for everyone. Stick with it, get healthy, and enjoy your life together.[/quote']

Thank you so much for these words of encouragement! I totally get the pizza thing... I love pizza:)

[wonderwoman75 118]

I'm three months out and my partner of 14 yrs is frustrated with me as well. She is just upset that I can lose the weight and she has lost one pound. It's so hard to deal with sometimes. I'm always talking about the food I can and can't eat. She is very supportive but I get it!