Just starting my journey

[argon 3]

I know what you mean, I just mean the people who sincerely want to lose 30lbs, and can't understand how you're doing so well, when they're watching what THEY eat, and going to the gym 5x a week... that's what I find hard.

[becca77 0]

Hey Donna, welcome! I haven't told anybody except for immediate family and I plan to keep it that way. For me this was a very personal decision and I don't want to have to justify it to anybody. My family has been understanding but they also don't have much of a choice knowing how important this is to me. I have to say that my husband haws been awesome though. Good luck to you!

[Rosi 0]

Thanks so much for this forum.It is helping me so much .I too have been tossing around the question..To tell or not to Tell.?? and who? My surgery is set for March 15 th. Of coarse my husband and my 2 (adult) daughters. Ihave told one of my best freinds and plan to tell my other best freind but after that I'm not sure if I should tellanyone else?? I could use all the support I can get though...I really am having a hard time deciding what would be best. any thought???

[Dame J 0]

Rosi I know exactly what you are going through. I had the same problem with trying to decide who to tell. It the end I just thought of the people I for sure had to tell. For example I had to tell my parents because currently I am living in their home so they would have known something was going on. But as for telling anyone else I decided not to only because when ever I had attempted to loose weight in the past I have been very open about it, which in turn gives others the impression that they can monitor me and comment on things and then give me notice on what they think is best. Not that this is a very bad thing but I know it gets wearing especially when your not doing as well as you want.

Plus I know that people can be overly judgemental with topics like wightloss surgery and can be very critical. In truth last week a friend of mine mentioned WLS and was saying how those people are lazy and all of that. I was so glad that I never told her what I had done.

The thing I kept telling myself was once you tell you can't take it back, so think carefully before you start telling people.

[Dame J 0]

Don't forget this site is so great and everyone here is not only helpful but also VERY supportive. This site has been one of my greatest tools and support networks.

[Rosi 0]

Dame J

Thank you for the very good advise. I see that this site is great. and I am already getting great info .I have been reading everything I can.I am ready to get this journey started.

[Astrotoes 0]

Hey Rosi,good luck on your weight loss journey.I have only told hubby and 1 friend,for me it's not so much that I worry about the critisim but it's more that I don't want the responsibility of being the local spokesperson for the band and I think that would happen. I think do what works best for you and what you can live with.:paranoid

[lapband4meNOW 0]

Hey jacksons mom

I was banded 2/8. Just to let you know, I still think of food a lot. There is a head hunger that I am learning to deal with.

[loriely 0]

Welcome Rosi. This is the start of your journey. This is a great and friendly site for information.

[Gaffer 1]

Thanks so much for this forum.It is helping me so much .I too have been tossing around the question..To tell or not to Tell.?? and who?

This was a big one for me as well, especially as a man. The way that I looked at it was I would only tell those people who I was sure would be supportive, and that I would tell them in such a way that they would understand I was doing it for the right reasons.

In a way I wanted the weight to come off slow, like 2lbs per week so that I could continue to tell the people that dont know that it was from working out & and a strict diet. Having lost 38lbs in 30 days is going to make that tougher. When I saw my boss, who knows, the other day he said to me "You're secret is out" and I said "You told you bastard" and he said, "No but you are way smaller than when you left work 2 weeks ago, people will know what's up"

For me, I dont really care what people think, and if they think that WLS is the easy way out, then let them think that. But if you look at the stats and the odds, diet are not in your favor. Something like 90% of people who lose weight on diets gain it all, plus more back. If diets were the answer WLS surgery would not exist.

Be proud, and remember what you are doing it for. Not the people at work, or anyone else. Also remember that many people cannot stand to see other people succeed and will do anything to take away from you accomplishments, bit dotn let that stop you.

Andrew

[loriely 0]

Very good advice Gaffer.

[Rosi 0]

Thanks for the great advise andrew.

[Doddie63 6]

Jackson's mom: Congratulations on your decision and I think you are correct to keep your wonderful decision to yourself until you are assured the person/people you tell will be supportive.

I told my sister (who is a carbon copy of me only 18 months older). She told me she no longer wanted contact with me because she couldn't stand to see me get thin while she stayed fat. It is most unfortuante for her because she can't have the band. Her health is too bad and no reputable doctor would perform the surgery. Still it hurts to know she resents me wanting to be healthy and happy. Doddie

[susieq321 31]

I told a few people clse friends and it surprised me how people reacted some of my best friends still don't get why I did it. My business partners response is still my favorite.. he just looks at me and says you stepped up you did what a lot of people won't do, your put your money where your mouth is, literally.

The biggest surprise is the reaction of people who are obese when I tell them and they tell me they can lose the weight just by dieting and moving and you know two years later when they are just heavier than ever.... they still don't see the point of my surgery. I can say for the last 5 years I have felt amazing, my knees feel amazing, my back feels amazing.

Who I told was selective, best friends, a few other people but overall I keep this fairly private, I don't hide my surgery but I don't brag about it either. This year I saw people who I hadn't seen in 4 years and it is always nice to hear oh you look amazing. If asked I say I ate less and moved more which is true.

[lapband4meNOW 0]

Just 'weighing' in on this (he-he)

I told everybody and couldn't stop talking about the process and don't regret it. I got people who didn't agree with it, but it didn't phase me one bit because I KNOW it is right for me. Think about everything you believe in...would you hide it from loved ones, friends, etc...if you fully believed in it? I respect everyone's decision on this..whether to tell or not it doesn't matter to me personally. Just thought I would share that I didn't hide it to anyone because, for me, the reason I did not hide it is because I accept I need medical help to lose weight. The bottom line is, it is your business and you can choose who to share it with whomever you want. As long as you feel good about whatever you decided, that is the most important!