Not changing mind, but wonder if they're right?

[panda 0]

I was talking with some of my co-workers about my surgery today and I was telling them that since I started making the changes needed for surgery (I'm drinking the low carb/high Protein shakes - adkins, advant edge, slim fast, etc. twice a day, plus green Beans at lunch for Vitamins and regular dinners - still LOW carb, absolutely no sweets/breads/rice/pasta) I've lose 7 lbs in the last week doing this. I was excited needless to say and wanted to share - I spend more time with these women than I do with my husband and I see them almost like sisters.

Well, they started congratulating me and were very happy for me:clap2: , but then they started saying "Well, if you did that for 4 weeks, that's 28 more pounds...If you keep it up indefinitely, you wouldn't even need the surgery..." And they started saying how maybe I should re-consider since I'm losing on my own right now. I tried to explain to them that I have things going on with my health that I would never be able to keep it off or get all of it off on my own - that I've tried (ok, so not quite THIS hard before - but I have to get my liver ready for surgery, plus if i gain more than what i weighed at my first appt, he won't do the surgery at all). I explained that the "life or death", "he might not do surgery if my liver is all fatty and he can't get to my stomache" is actually my motivator. Having that hanging over my head is what's working. I want this surgery so bad that I'm able to stick to the plan and do things right, FINALLY, for once in my life. And they didn't quite get it. :think

So I finally said, "I love you guys, and I know you're just worried about me and worried something will happen during surgery, but just know that I've been debating this, and working towards it, and praying about it for 2.5 years. I know what I'm getting myself into. This is what I need." I went on to explain - again- about my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and how I would never be able to keep the weight off because what I'm doing to get ready for surgery (and what's making me lose right now) could not be kept up with life-long. They still don't quite get it, but they backed off.

Unfortunately, now I'm wondering if I could do it on my own. Apparently I can do it a little bit (lost a total of 11 lbs in the last month - which is just...WOW for me...never happened before).

I'm not changing my mind. I know deep down the surgery is right for me. I have too many issues going on hormonally that I know it'd never stay off (even my doctors have told me this - my primary brought up surgery with me 3.5 years ago and BEGGED me to consider it because I was adament i wasn't doing it! LOL).

..but...I'm wondering why I was never SO dedicated before? I know if I lost the inspiration of this surgery, I'd lose my dedication. Why was nothing else I wanted important enough for me to stay on track? You know?

I had some REALLY big motivators in the past...((and granted, the surgery is going to help me achieve all those as well and they are the reasons I want the surgery)), but I just don't get why the surgery is what has finally got me to that, "I am NOT going to let ANYTHING mess me up - NO piece of chocolate/cake/bread/rice/etc/etc is worth losing this surgery".

Anyone else had this happen, or something similar? Not exactly second thoughts, but just......wondering?? :straight

[tonya66 13]

I asked myself that same question. So last year, I decided to give it my all, I was strick low carb, didn't cheat for 200 days, lost about 40 lbs. I was down to 190 lbs. Not at goal, but at least feeling better and thinking - I will do better without the lap-band. I can do this! Then July came and we went on our family vacation.

I have a motto, vacation is meant to enjoy, so I enjoy everything. If I want dessert, I get it. I don't diet on vacation - ever. Well, vacation ended and back home we came, gaining 8 lbs in a week from the vacation, I said "tomorrow, I'll get back on my diet". Guess what, tomorrow never came, By November I was up to 248 lbs. I realized, I can diet, I am successful at losing weight, however, I'M A FAILURE at keeping it off. I was depressed, sad, and embarrassed at my massive weight gain from July to November - I had packed on 58 lbs in 4 months! I know my co-workers were talking behind my back, I know my family was concerned for me. My DH expressed his concern as well.

Thats when I realized I needed help, serious help. I once again looked at the lap band. I started the process 11/22 and had my surgery on 1/18/07. I know I"m only a month out, but I tell you, I believe it is the best decision I have ever made. I no longer fear going on vacation. I know that I can enjoy what I want to, however, my tool (the band) will keep me from gorging uncontrollable. I feel safe now with my tool.

I know that I wil NEVER be 248 lbs again.

I am not trying to talk you into getting the band, I'm just sharring my thoughts. Only you know yourself, only you know if you can lose the weight on your on and keep it off.

Whatever you decide, it sounds like your co-workers are a great support for you and care about you very much.

I wish you the best!

[panda 0]

Thank you so much

I wasn't going to change my mind...I'm dead set on getting the band (even if insurance doesn't cover it - I will find a way to self-pay, even if it takes years to save for it).

I was just bothered by those thoughts. I've never been able to lose weight (at least not more than like 5 lbs over 3 months...). So this sudden loss just got me wondering why I was never so dedicated before. Why now when I'm about to get surgery to help me? I don't know. Oh well.

Again, thank you for your story, it really makes me feel better knowing someone else has been there.

And by the way, I agree with you....Vacations are for enjoyment - not diets!!! :hungry:

[enterprise01 0]

According to the stats, only 2% of the people who lose a significant amount of weight are able to keep it off. Like Sunshine said, we can all lose weight on our own, but keeping it off is almost impossible. Sure, I can be perfect on a diet for 4-6 months, and then I get sick of being hungry all the time, so I go back to eating what I want. And then after a month of eating everything in sight and seeing that I gained 20 lbs, I'll say to myself, "I'll start back on the diet tomorrow." As Sunshine pointed out, tomorrow keeps getting postponed. If I could lose weight and maintain it on my own, then I would have been thin 15 years ago and there would not have been any need for this surgery. And if the band had been available when I was 25, I would have done it then and saved myself all those years of torture. Since you have PCOS, you know it will be even more difficult for you in the long run. Why not get the help you need to control your weight?

As for your friends, it's very easy for them to say just diet and exercise and do it on your own. They don't know how hard it is to stay on a diet permanently when your stomach is constantly growling at you.

[Yasmina 0]

I was the same way. I had no problem losing 50 and even 85 lbs, but soon after boom I would have gained it all back and more. Two years ago I was all set to get the band then I joined weight watchers and lost 50lbs. I thought that i could lose the rest on my own HA. Gained it all back . So In Jan I made the apt and had the surgery two weeks later. I had to pay, but seeing everyone with their success, I wanted it bad. I am so glad I did. Even though I had only lost a little so far, I fell happy.

[juliegeraci 7]

I tried everything before I got banded. Just because you have lost weight on the preop diet doesn't mean that you can keep it off. The band is a great tool to lose and keep the weight off. I would highly recommend that you go through with the surgery. Good luck.

[waterlily1072 5]

I have always been a good dieter, but usually after about 30lbs I can't stand it anymore and I have to eat those forbidden junk foods that I love so much and I have to feel full again. I get so tied of feeling hungry. Ihad never been able to lose more than 30lbs before my band and now I am at -57. I did that all in the first 3-4 months. Then I needed a break from dieting but this time for the first time ever I didn't gain anything back! This is the best tool ever and only those who have struggled with weightloss can truly understand, whether they are brave enough to admit it or not.

[tann 2]

I had once lost 75 on my own, it all came back....I've lost 25 lbs about 5 times, it all came back plus alot more. This time it is staying off and even when I slip up I usually don't gain, of course I do get right back on program, it don't last for months at a time like in the past:heh:

[katieo 0]

In the last 12 years I have lost a total of 120lbs hooray to me!!!:clap2:

NOT cos I've put it all back on and more, a story we are all familiar with.

I am having a band put in around August time but i am going on holiday in June and because of my huge body I am anxious about the plane journey,the pool, the beach.........actually the whole damn thing!!!

In a way I regret booking it, but the little voice of wisdom within is telling me 'you cannot put your life on hold until the op'

So i'm thinking, why not try and lose a bit on my own but I just can't seem to get into it. I have started working out which I will continue as it will give me a good start when I'm banded but when it comes to cutting back the carbs it's a different matter all together!

[socalgal3 4]

I echo what everyone else said. I have lost over 50 pounds at least 3 times in my life via Opti-Trim, diet/exercise, Suzanne Sommers, personal trainer, the works! I am only 7 months out and my journey has had complications. But, I finally have hope that the weight won't come back. I am still afraid because of always gaining weight back. Sometimes I'm not sure I will keep it off, even with the band, but I am hoping for the best. If you can do it on your own and KEEP IT OFF, more power to you! But know the band will help you more than willpower alone.

[panda 0]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the words of encouragement. Again, I never wavered in my decision for the band...it just stumped me that I am finally losing before getting it! LOL. It was just weird to me that nothing else was strong enough to make me REALLY stick to something. But at least I have that motivation....

And now.....if only I would get word that I'm approved and get my surgery date! That would be awesome! This waiting for aproval thing is killing me!! :frusty:

[demsvmejm 5]

This has been my DH exact argument for the last 3 weeks.

I have lost up to 35 lbs. on WW before, with proper diet and exercise, but always have put it back on, like we all have. (love those double cheeseburgers!)

This is his point: If you "can;t" keep it off on WW because you make bad food choices and stop exercising, what is this magic bullet the LB provides? You still have to do the same things to keep the weight off....make good choices and exercise.

He goes on to argue: The stats on LB weight loss after 3 years is only 50% of your excess weight at best.

(50% of mine would be around 35-40 lbs.) He thinks I should just not have the surgery and go back to WW....in 3 years the results would be the same if I stuck to the program.

I keep explaining to him that the LB will limit my intake, make me full with very little food.

I've also wondered if he is right.

I'm still going for it!

I have a BMI of 39 and HBP and had a stroke 2 yrs ago. I'm psyched that I can do this for the long haul....we all can!

[waterlily1072 5]

Ahh but we can do anything for a short period of time, it's the long haul that is so difficult

[MarySue33 0]

I have probably lost 600-700# over the past 20 years. It's not the losing part that is hard for me...it is the keeping it off part. That's why I have the band. So far...so good!

[Candle 11]

I've chosen the band just as much to help me lose the weight, as to help me KEEP IT OFF!

It's normal to have doubts ... you'll do fine

I am having a band put in around August time but i am going on holiday in June and because of my huge body I am anxious about the plane journey,the pool, the beach.........actually the whole damn thing!!!

In a way I regret booking it, but the little voice of wisdom within is telling me 'you cannot put your life on hold until the op'

So i'm thinking, why not try and lose a bit on my own but I just can't seem to get into it.

I'm in the same place. I weigh about the same as you and anticipate being banded in Aug. (stupid 6 month dr supervised diet for insurance)

In the last year, since I started working at home, I've gained about 25-30lbs. That put me over the 300lb mark and is what has put me over the edge. I am soooo uncomfortable in my own body right now.

Me and my SO talked about vacations for this year and decided to save our money and take a REALLY nice vacation next year instead. We went to New Orleans in October and I was miserable. Too tired to walk very much - uncomfortable on the plane - ate and drank too much while there. Our last vacation before that was Vegas in April. I wasn't quite as heavy but still had all the same problems. The walking killed me - I was too uncomfortable to get massages or be touched at the spa - didn't want to wear a bathing suit, so no going to the pool - hot and sweaty being in the desert heat.

I have the same thinking as you about not putting my life on hold but I haven't enjoyed our last few vacations anyway so, I'd rather wait. My SO is taking a trip with "the guys" in May anyway so he's ok with waiting. (and he understands)

I really want to get the ball rolling on diet and exercise (but don't want to lose too much on this supervised diet either)

We're looking to adopt a dog right now - I hope that will get me walking more at least!