To those with young children...

[elli'smommy 160]

I have a 2.5 year old daughter. I'm already very sensitive and anxious about having surgery and possibly dying. Every time I think about the possibility that I might die during surgery and leaving her alone, I breakdown. So my question is this; did you have your young children with you at the hospital before you went in for surgery? How did you explain a 2-3 day stay at the hospital to them? I have never left her for any length of time nor has she ever been away from me at night. My parents (along with my husband) are coming to help care for her and take care of me post surgery so I'm not to concerned with her being taken care of...just the whole surgery and three day hospital stay.

Sorry if this seems like rambling. I'm having trouble getting my thoughts together around this.

[crazedteacher 38]

The morning I dropped my daughter off at school when I was having surgery we both broke down crying. But, I remembered that she was my motivation for having the surgery and I trusted my surgeon with my life and I just knew that God would see me through. I was in the hospital 3 nights and the day of surgery you are really out of it and you don't want her to see you that day. My daughter only came up one time. If your parents are there, have them keep her busy, park, lunch at her favoritre restaurant or whatever. Remember, you are getting healthier for her and you so, although I know it is scary, it's just nerves. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Keep us updated. Good luck! You will be on the losers bench in no time!

[aprildiva22 9]

Wow I have been thinking the same thing god will carry us through

[Ms_Kb718 22]

Hello,

I don't know about your hospital, but at my hospital children under 13 are not allowed in patient care areas (pre-op included) unless they are visiting mom and a new sibling after labor and delivery. Patients have the option to visit children in the 1st floor lobby if the doctor/nurse says it's ok. So the first thing you should do is check hospital policy. Even if my kids could come to the hospital, I think it would scare them to see me hooked up to an i.v. and being in pain and loopy from the drugs.

That being said, I have 5 children ages 11, 9, 6, 4 and 16 months. The oldest is actually my stepson and I don't want my business getting back to his mom so I am only telling my 9 year-old that I am actually having surgery. I feel like the younger ones will either not understand or just worry. They will be dropped off with my parents the night before surgery and will stay with them until the day after I come home. My youngest has only been away from me for 1 night and she did much better than I thought she would. My mom didn't even want me to talk to her to say good night because she was doing so well. I insisted and of course she started crying when she heard my voice. This time I think I will just leave the kids alone and let them enjoy a few days with their grandparents. When they come home my husband will tell them that I am sick and that I will be ok, but they have to let me rest (yeah right) and help him take care of me.

I also have thought about possibly dying during surgery and leaving my kids without a mother. I've decided to write a letter to each of my daughters, my stepson and my husband. I will give them to my parents to keep. If the worse case scenario happens, my parents will give the letters to my husband and he will make sure the kids get them when the time is right. I do fully expect to make it through surgery, but I just feel that writing the letters is something that I need to do.

[crazedteacher 38]

You guys will be fine. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Remember why you are doing this and how much better you will feel and how much more you will be doing for your kids. You can do it and we are all here for you!

[elli'smommy 160]

Thanks guys! Sounds like Im not the only one with this weighing on their hearts. I'm probably going to take your advice and write some letters; just because I feel that may be therapeutic to my soul. I'm going to try and remind myself that I'm doing this surgery so I can lead a very active life with my daughter and husband and that this will hopefully ensure that I will be around for my daughter's graduation

[JustJenn 542]

I never let myself think of the possibility of dying. I just blocked that out. I was devastated that I would not see my daughter for 3 days. Just thinking she would not understand why mommy wasn't there broke my heart I mean to the core! (Fellow mommy's understand).

My hospital was a absolutely no kids zone and my hospital was an hour away. The morning I left her sleeping and went off tearfully. That night I was up walking and feeling good (still connected to pain killer pump) we skyped and she laughed and talked and was in routine. We skyped everyday until I was home. My baby is 3 and we got through it. My parents where so my hubby could be with me, and they kept her routine.

It's hard a mother to put yourself first. Just get in the mindset of its only 3 days (hopefully no complications) and she won't even remember a year from now:) best of luck mama!

Surgery date 7/25/12

[elli'smommy 160]

Thanks Jenn! Just reading that made me tear up. I know, this is the biggest hurdle for me and I have to find away over it. I know she will be well taken care of and loved while I am unable. I guess somewhere deep inside me I question my self and how dare I put myself in harms way when I have a child to needs me. Im trying to remember that this is not only to benefit me but her as well! I will be more healthy, active and able to do all the things a child wants to do. I'm trying...

[padlrd 183]

You will be fine I now you always worry about something happening but your more at risk of getting in a car accident about I think they said 1000-1 of something happening after take these letters and put them away in a safe place and keep them and someday after your all skinny and sexy and there old enough give the letters to them and include a before and after picture in each letter

[yasminsnewjourney 52]

I never let myself think of the possibility of dying. I just blocked that out. I was devastated that I would not see my daughter for 3 days. Just thinking she would not understand why mommy wasn't there broke my heart I mean to the core! (Fellow mommy's understand).

My hospital was a absolutely no kids zone and my hospital was an hour away. The morning I left her sleeping and went off tearfully. That night I was up walking and feeling good (still connected to pain killer pump) we skyped and she laughed and talked and was in routine. We skyped everyday until I was home. My baby is 3 and we got through it. My parents where so my hubby could be with me' date=' and they kept her routine.

It's hard a mother to put yourself first. Just get in the mindset of its only 3 days (hopefully no complications) and she won't even remember a year from now:) best of luck mama!

Surgery date 7/25/12[/quote']

That's what I plan to do with my kids when they stay with my mom face time them from the hospital even thou you there safe but a mothers job is never done and I am always with my 5 kids and hubby up and down

[karlam29 221]

Thats how i feel too! i dont have a date yet and i am already thinking about my boys 10,5, and 3 and it freaks me out that something happens to me and not being there but im trying to live a better life for them they r my motivation and with that being said i think its second nature for us mommies to put ourselves after them positive toughts always my best wishes for you youll be ok and fabulous!!

[workingmotherofthree 24]

I have three children and I explained it to each of them and let them ask me any questions they wanted. Their ages are 10, 8 and 5. Honestly I spoke to them on the phone but they are very supportive and we gave them each jobs to do while their grandmother, my mother, was here from out of state when I was in the hospital. All three I them helped me for several weeks after surgery and know what I can and can't have. My son who is almost 11 now actually orders a

Side with his dinner for me to eat so that I am able to eat out with them. They all give me a piece of something but are very caring because I walked through everything with them. My surgery was 1-23-2013 and they were in school so I didn't keep them with me.

Good luck. I find being open with them is good so when you say No thanks I don't want that they completely understand. We also explained to them that they don't need to broadcast it to everyone as its a family matter and they are really good about it.

[JoCoMom 1]

I too have a small child. My two yr old is the main motivation for me having the surgery. My surgery is in a couple of weeks, and as it gets closer I am worrying more and more about him. I have never spent a night away from him, so this is going to be a LONG 3 days !