Boyfriend is NOT supportive

[DLCoggin 1,788]

It is an unfortunate, but undeniable fact that the vast majority of folks who have never struggled with obesity believe that "diet and exercise" are always the answer. Science tells us exactly the opposite. For people with a BMI of 30 or greater, the failure rate of diet and exercise is almost 100%. It simply does not work. And doctors have known that for years. But until bariatric surgery, they simply had no other option to offer. Those who are unsupportive often have the very best of intentions. They are concerned about the risks associated with surgery. And at the same time fail to understand (or chose to ignore) that obesity is a progressive, degenerative disease that has reached epidemic levels and is the number two cause of preventable death in the U.S. There are decisions in life that have to be made on a personal level. For those who cannot support the surgery option - their concern is understandable, even appreciated. But that does not change the fact that bariatric surgery is the single most effective treatment currently known to medical science for obesity (and more than 30 associated co-morbidities). And not by a little but by a very wide margin. Friends, family and loved ones must understand and respect your right to make what may well be the most important decision in your life. Manipulation and ultimatums are not options. And they are not acts of love.

[iggs3113 3]

Padlre, I currently weigh 281 pounds. I've been over weight for about 10 years or more. Im 31

[iggs3113 3]

DlCoggin, wow!!! Thanks! I needed to read something like that. Yet again I find myself with tears in my eyes. I don't know what I would do without the support of everyone from this site. All the advice is definitely making me think things different.

[btb2013 84]

Padlre' date=' I currently weigh 281 pounds. I've been over weight for about 10 years or more. Im 31[/quote']

My husband wasn't for it either but my health complications rose to serious levels at age 34. We have to walk w conviction and remind others that claim they care that their love is suppose to be unconditional and supportive. Then leave them to it as u do u. I made sure my husband came to appts and was a part of every e.r. Trip or picking up kids because I couldn't due to illness and seeing my ongoing pain and illness just so that he could get a full pic.

The male doc telling him what I needed and why was icing.

Hw 245; Pre-Op(RNY) 225.6; Surg Date 2/26; CW 198.4....GW 145

[padlrd 183]

Well the nurse in the hospital told me it was good to cry and get it out so cry are even better go to a playground and swing and cry the more you swing you let out endorphins and the better it will make you feel it's a proven fact swinging makes you feel good not sure why it feels better on a swing set but even a rocker could work I guess that's why baby's like to be rocked its soothing and if there's no one around you could scream a little at him as to why he's being such an ass doesn't he want you in better health ARE maybe he's scared your going to get skinny sexy and not want him or that you might get more attention Do what's best for you and go on with your LIFE either with him or without that will be his decision but you can handle it cause your a women and were made to SURIVE and take care of our children

[Shrinking Don 365]

iggs do his for yourself you will feel so much better this coming from a guy if he can't support you in this what else will he not support you in you need to put yourself first this is about you and only you to become healthy my wife was not totally on board at first but she went to my dr appts with me and also to the support groups so she started to see it differntly...Not sure how long you two have been together but if he is going to leave you over this he doesn't even love himself so how can he love you ..I am 8 mos out now and down 116 lbs since my RNY 147 lbs total with preop loss and feel great and the wife is happy also..I wish you luck but please put you first there is a much better guy out there if he can't support you in your journey......

[mizzlaw 130]

My husband did not even show up to the hospital! Now i am 6 months post op and look hot!!! If i had listen to his negativity i would still be fat and depressed!! Do what is best for you!!!!!

[slowtogo 301]

My husband did not even show up to the hospital! Now i am 6 months post op and look hot!!! If i had listen to his negativity i would still be fat and depressed!! Do what is best for you!!!!!

Same here. And kicked him out last summer after 18 years. Now have a great boyfriend. Life is good and almost at 130 lbs down. Wls doesn't guarantee happiness. But someone who doesn't support your need to be healthy isn't worth your time.

[caitiegirly07 31]

I waited years because one boyfriend disapproved looking back all I can think is ... I wasted so much time trying to make him happy while sacrificing my own happiness... Be true to yourself and know that once it's done you will be able to love yourself a little more too.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

My hubby wasn't supported or in agreement with surgery but wala he sure loves the sex & carrying me. I'm more flexible then ever. He is happy as long as I'm happy. It doesn't mean he is in agreement with 5 plastic surgery I'm having but he will give me 7/8g to help me pay for it simply cuz it makes me happy. Everything from now on its what makes me happy. I have delicated my entire teenage hood to my hubby & kids & I'm now 34 and I stopped having kids & it's time for me to be happy so he is either with me or not I'm doing it my way.

Advice from me is you live only once & no men is worth it. Even mine love him to pieces but my body my life.

[slowtogo 301]

Same here. And kicked him out last summer after 18 years. Now have a great boyfriend. Life is good and almost at 130 lbs down. Wls doesn't guarantee happiness. But someone who doesn't support your need to be healthy isn't worth your time.

New update- found the ex starting to date a new woman. Apparently he is looking for a larger woman. Likes to hit on twiggy when married. I guess a woman with lower self esteem is his goal. ( for a wife)