What a support group is and isn't (IMHO)

[slowtogo 301]

Ok. Guys (and gals) since when did we always have to agree with each other?

In the "what are we eating tonight" thread, I have seen posts about. .."i went to a buffet" or fast food and ate much more than we/they should.

Or eating a rather large quantity of food, or fried foods, or sugar laden stuff.

Why is it that making a comment that this is a bad choice makes us negative nellies or flaming? Or bullies?

I don't know about you guys, But i want to succeed in my new lifestyle. I want menu choices that are healthy. If i were a newcomer and read about fried foods and high sugar items that no one said was a bad choice, and i incorporated it into my diet, I would be ticked when it failed. (And it would!)

Maybe we need to try. .." well now ward, don't ya think you were a bit hard on the beaver" mentality ( from ward and June cleaver) on "leave it to beaver"

I.e. some gentle correction followed by a "you can do this! " rah rah rooting comment?

I would rather find out where i am failing (with love or kindness) than. ..everyone talking about how stupid i am behind my back. Just saying.

[Lou:) 110]

I read a blog where the lady quit going to a support group because all they would talk about was being able to eat junk food or how to eat it and not dump. She said it was very tempting and did not want to be a part of it. I like seeing what people are eating in that thread but I don't like seing people post things about going outside their doc orders, although it is their life and not mine. It just seems counterintuitive.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I don't wanna start whatever happen before cuz I don't know what happen but I will reply to your new thread post.

I had WLS because I wanted to be slim plain & simple. With the exception of my knee due to being fat it was affecting my right knee. I knew as a fat woman I wouldn't get no where especially with 2 special need need kids. I decided to have WLS to avoid future health problems. I never ever had a cholesterol problem pressure problem diabetes or whatever else except mild asthma & it's been a long time since I used asthma pump or had an attack.

Bad choices in food yes I made them but in no point in time did my surgeon say "Maybelin" you will never ever be able to haves slice of pizza or a glass of wine. That I decided I don't want pizza or outside food it's up to each individual. Of course if the fried & fast food made you fat to begin with should it be avoided oh yes I agree but I won't deprave my self of having 1 slice if pizza every 2-3 months. I have self control & surgery helps you but doesn't affected your mind. portion size only. If we fail we take responsibility but bashing & putting ppl down for there choices is wrong. If we don't like what's being posted we can ignore & move to the next post. This is a support group & many of us need help to keep motivated or simple learn to make better choices.

[Nel 189]

I'm fat. I've made bad choices in diet and exercise. I also have hashimotos and PCOS that make it easy to gain and hard to lose and gives me a metabolism that's almost dead.

Normal people with no health problems make bad eating and workout choices.

We're going to screw up. It's just the way it is. Most of us are and or were addicted to food. food is good, doesn't judge you and is one of the only ways to enjoy instant gratification.

A support group supports you and in a non JudgeMENTAL way, gives constructive criticism. This surgery is one of the hardest things most people will do and having someone judge them with a crappy superior attitude is counterproductive to what should happen.

Everyone is here due to obesity. Not one person is better than another.

2 days ago it was pretty cool, then everyone got a side of drama.

I just want to have somewhere to go and say, is this normal? Is this dumping? Anyone else have this happen?

But hey, now I know we can block people and its a wonderful thing. So before we all leave here for a better place, lets start using that option.

[slowtogo 301]

I read a blog where the lady quit going to a support group because all they would talk about was being able to eat junk food or how to eat it and not dump. She said it was very tempting and did not want to be a part of it. I like seeing what people are eating in that thread but I don't like seing people post things about going outside their doc orders' date=' although it is their life and not mine. It just seems counterintuitive.[/quote']

I agree lou. I love good ideas and new calorie conscious ideas. Ideas that could mislead us might need a comment to redirect.

[slowtogo 301]

I don't wanna start whatever happen before cuz I don't know what happen but I will reply to your new thread post.

I had WLS because I wanted to be slim plain & simple. With the exception of my knee due to being fat it was affecting my right knee. I knew as a fat woman I wouldn't get no where especially with 2 special need need kids. I decided to have WLS to avoid future health problems. I never ever had a cholesterol problem pressure problem diabetes or whatever else except mild asthma & it's been a long time since I used asthma pump or had an attack.

Bad choices in food yes I made them but in no point in time did my surgeon say "Maybelin" you will never ever be able to haves slice of pizza or a glass of wine. That I decided I don't want pizza or outside food it's up to each individual. Of course if the fried & fast food made you fat to begin with should it be avoided oh yes I agree but I won't deprave my self of having 1 slice if pizza every 2-3 months. I have self control & surgery helps you but doesn't affected your mind. portion size only. If we fail we take responsibility but bashing & putting ppl down for there choices is wrong. If we don't like what's being posted we can ignore & move to the next post. This is a support group & many of us need help to keep motivated or simple learn to make better choices.

I agree Mami. One piece of pizza didn't put us here. Half a pizza pie or more at a sitting did. I like the ideas of meals under 500 calories or even better the high Protein choices people are making.

[Lou:) 110]

Well pizza is my comfort food and I had pizza right before surgery. I was not on any preoperative diet but was trying to eat right on my own. I posted a thread because I was struggling with the craving and people responded, but I did not post when I actually broke down and ate it because I did not want the feedback. Not that I will never have pizza again now, but I certainly won't post in the future if I did... I don't want any drama, but I can see both sides of this...

[slowtogo 301]

You know Lou-I think it's ok if you do skip and if you post! Then we say. ..it's ok... happens to all of us, (hug) you And maybe suggest you preload with Water before you go to the pizza parlor next time.

We all fall. Its how we pick ourself up and minimize it next time.