Need some advice

[heather200202 73]

I've been dealing with some family issues and need some advice on how to deal with it. I've been told recently I have been rude and being a b**tc to certain people in my family. (Brother and sister) They are saying I'm acting this way cause I think I am so much better then they are since I've lost my weight. The truth is I am tired of the drama that surrounds them and I'm finally saying something about it and I don't want to listen to it anymore. This drama is always constant and never seems to go away. Should I just keep putting up with it for the sake of my family? Should I just cut ties with them? Please help and any advice is sure welcome. Thanks!!!!

[katmando12 25]

I have a feeling I may go through this as well with my sister. Question, are your siblings overweight? I think they may possibly be jealous of your success.

I can't tell you to cut your ties or ignore the comments, that is something that your heart will have to decide.

Can you still be involved with them but try to separate from the drama?

[MyTimeToLose 41]

That is tough since you never know how long you have with them. I don't want to say deal with it, since that can personally make you unhappy. Any chance you can sit down and talk with them and straighten things out? I am sure they are used to you being overweight and by the sounds of it, you didn't stand up in the past, so they are relating the current issues with your new weight. It is tough since I don't like to hear families split apart, but I have had issues with my siblings in the past too. I would try to sit down and talk to them if possible.

[heather200202 73]

I believe the main issue is My sister for sure is jealous. Shes always been the skinny one in the family and I've always been the biggest. I'm the same size as she is right now and I know she's hating it. I've quit telling anyone how much weight I've lost cause I can tell by the looks I get from them that they don't like it. I'm not bragging, I'm just happy about what I've accomplished. They've also been trying to sabotage the work I've been doing by telling me one bite of this won't kill me or one drink of this won't either. I keep telling them I don't want to hear about all the drama and I've tried staying out of it. I don't want to cut ties with them but they seem ready to do that with me right now for the comment that was posted on Facebook.< /p>

[JustJenn 542]

It's a hard change for them too. I would stop telling them how much you've lost and what your current weight is.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I am starting to sense this with my sister who I was bigger than now I'm the smaller one. I have her all of the new cloths I bought that are her size and she gave them back saying she didn't want my fat cloths. I didn't think of that like I thought this is name brand practically brand new. Work and casual. I was so offended. But whatever I think it's hard for her that she is no longer the smaller one. She is officially be bigger little sister.

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

My husband is jealous of me. He thinks I feel I'm all that. He said I went to the park to shake my ass. Which one my fake silicone ass? I don't think so. I barely took my kids out when I was fat but I feel good now & ppl do t give me that ewww look & I have energy to run & play with my kids.

When will ppl stop?

[heather200202 73]

I knew before this surgery that I wasn't going to get the support from them and I understood and was perfectly ok with that. I also knew that the smaller I got, that I would probably get some jealousy but this???

[sc_mama4 92]

To be honest I use to be the girl who put up with everything. Now I could careless what you think. I want a life calm and peaceful. I actually cut ties with my moms sister in January bc she's 1) a alcoholic and 2) got pissed I tracked down my mothers organ recipients then had the largest newspaper back home do a story on her. She wrote me on fb first and I called her up and called her out. I don't care what people think of me. You need to do what's going to be condusive for you. Drama causes problems health, emotional etc. Your body is already going through enough. I can't tell u the decision to make but you need to weigh it down to what's the best for YOU not THEM. Good luck and hang in.

[heather200202 73]

Thank you everyone for your advice and honesty. I have after awhile of thoughtful consideration and talking to my husband that I am going to cut ties with some people. Right now my parents will continue to be apart of my life as they have been the supportive ones (the most out of the rest) plus my dad only has a short while to live and don't want to miss my time with him over this. Kelly, you are right as this has been very emotional and something I don't need right now. I've decided to have this surgery to become healthier and having drama to this extent isn't healthy.

[sc_mama4 92]

That's what I ran into and I now have chronic stomach pain from stress. Its just not healthy and even though its harsh this surgery is hard enough to deal with u just don't need more on top of the emotional roller coaster u go thru from rny. Family comes around they always do and let em know I love you but I can't deal with this and that on top of this its just too much and just ignore. That's what I did and I think my family got the hint. After all its not their fight its yours and only yours. You'll be fine and things will work out but for now like ya said concentrate on u... Take care xoxo

[vachick64 32]

I believe the main issue is My sister for sure is jealous. Shes always been the skinny one in the family and I've always been the biggest. I'm the same size as she is right now and I know she's hating it. I've quit telling anyone how much weight I've lost cause I can tell by the looks I get from them that they don't like it. I'm not bragging' date=' I'm just happy about what I've accomplished. They've also been trying to sabotage the work I've been doing by telling me one bite of this won't kill me or one drink of this won't either. I keep telling them I don't want to hear about all the drama and I've tried staying out of it. I don't want to cut ties with them but they seem ready to do that with me right now for the comment that was posted on Facebook.[/quote']

Please don't cut ties with your family. Family is forever.

Taking a break from them might help and hopefully appreciate your roll in the family.

[sc_mama4 92]

I got to thinking too. It may not be jealousy it maybe sheer panic. They have groups out there for rny pt and fsmilys w a member with rny. Perhaps that's it??

[pookybear 284]

It's your decision but PLEASE think it over very thoroughly before you cut ties with family. Like a previous person said, maybe just distancing yourself for awhile might help. I speak from personal experience, you never know what can happen. If you cut ties, and god for it something tragic happens, how will you feel?

[Lisa Collom 184]

Please don't cut ties with your family. Family is forever.

Taking a break from them might help and hopefully appreciate your roll in the family.

Family can be the most toxic people in your life. I used to get that speech all the time when I first cut off my grandmother and then my father. My response has always been that my family is supposed to love me, support me, and treat me better than a stranger on the street. If they can't do that, then they are related by blood, but they aren't my family. I cut my dads mother off 7 years ago and my dad 3 years ago. Not only was it the best decision I ever made for my own emotional health, but I'm also protecting my children from their toxicity. Not everyone's family is worth the effort.

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Family is family...you'll never ave another....that said, just be ause they're family doesn't mean they're great people. Small grievances with family must be forgiven and forgotten however if their relationship with you is truly toxic and continues to have a negative impact on you and you've tried to talk it out (bluntly, some people require bluntness) I'd just stay away, when they ask why, tell em....if they stil can't change and support you well then their loss!

HW 312, pre-op (lap-band) 294, pre-op (RNY) 255, surgery date 2/11/13, goal weight 154, current weight 225