Harsh coworkers/friends?

[futuremrsparker 288]

I hardly feel like I can say a word about having surgery to anyone around me. I have two coworkers, both VERY successful with RNY. They are both being so critical of me having this surgery though. It's funny because I could care less what others have to say. My annoyance is the fact that even if I don't mention anything, they HAVE to talk about it or ask me questions. They don't seem to understand that I don't. Are to discuss this at work. I didn't even tell my boss what surgery I am having, just that I will be having a procedure done. It's getting to be overwhelming and I wish I could have just gone through this whole thing without my family, friends, or coworkers knowing one detail. As far as its concerned, the only person who truly needs to know is my fiancé. Ugh. People.

[k.buys 9]

Shame on your two coworkers who have had this done. They should be the ones you get the most support from. Try not to pay any attention to them, they obviously have something going on with them. Your right your fiancé is the only one that counts. You will have people with a negative attitude about it and some that are really positive. I shrug off the negative ones they don't deserve the space in your head

[Cherry 71]

I'm going through similar.

In your case, why are they saying/being critical of you having this surgery? When you answer, I will tell you what I am experiencing.

[futuremrsparker 288]

K.buys, thanks so much for the encouragement. The odd thing is, what they say doesn't bother me. I just am sick of hearing and getting questioned. I just wish they would hush and worry more about their own lives. Lol

Cherry, I have 2 coworkers that both had RNY and were very successful. They are both about twice my age and, unfortunately, treat me as such. They need something to talk about and for some reason, I am it. They keep giving me every reason in the world as to why I shouldn't do it. The latest was that I'll gain all of my weight back when my future husband and I decide to have kids. My response was "I could gain it all back either way, if I choose not to eat well." I'd be more afraid to have babies being 300+ pounds! That's not fair to my future children! How does mom explain that she can't run around in the yard because her knees hurt from her weight? Basically, they are just putting their two cents in when its not wanted, at all. I'm just frustrated. Unfortunately, working with women, that is going to be a problem forever and I just need to block them out. Lol what's going on with you? I'd love to hear!

[Cherry 71]

I just don't get why 2 people who had successful RNYs would do such a thing. JERKS.

Well, going back to your original post.... I have not told my friends about my surgery. I am not especially close to anyone other than my husband. I have very judgmental friends who put everything down from food Stamp recipients to Breast Implants.... and I am fairly confident that since they don't know me that well, they will be quick to say this is a vanity thing and I am "taking the shortcut".

I do feel awkward though since they are catty and as I lose weight they will ask me a million questions about how I am doing it. I have already lost 32 lbs in 8 weeks so in terms of weight loss, I have already "set the stage". I am already predicting how HORRIBLE I will feel not confessing that I had WLS, although I NEVER will.

My attitude is that it's MY business and they do not need to know.

[D2.0 14]

Ladies stop caring about what other are saying! Don't give them the time of day! The best you can is be fabulous in your weight loss !

[MrsLulu 69]

I am totally with you guys on this. I have told only a very few people because the support is just not there. It is sad, but very true. The stigma of surgery being the easy way put is just awful, as it is not at all the easy way. I started this journey at 391lbs 2 months ago, and am at 358 right now. I have surgery on 4/15. I have worked very hard to get to that point, and get all of the testing done in that small amount of time. I have changed all of my eating habits and forced my family to change. I seriously am happy I found this website because it is nice to have others who know what I am going through instead of just feeling like I going through this alone. My spouse does not understand the requirements and thinks the change is just for 6months or so. His perception is off. I happy he is here for me but worried he will try to help and get frustrated because he will be doing the wrong things.

[Cherry 71]

@Lulu - check out my recent post - looking for experience partners with dates April 15 & 16

[futuremrsparker 288]

Had some more annoying comments/questions from my coworkers today and instead of complaining about it, I just decided to stop. I read a quote today that said "Use your frustration to fuel positive motion." It's so true. They can talk as much as they want, but how will their words TRULY effect me in 5 years? I probably won't even remember typing this up! Lol I know I still have a rough road ahead, but I'm going to make every effort to use all of the frustration as power.

[shawneey41 17]

I feel so bad for those of you with coworkers that are being unsupportive and mean. I feel really blessed I work at a small hospital and everyone is

Great about my upcoming surgery. I work as a CNA and a lady I work with is our unit secretary. She is cross training with me so that I can come back to work in 2 weeks and do a desk job. She will be doing my job. We will switch for 2-3 weeks till I am cleared for heavy lifting. She volunteered to do that on her own. Everyone else on my work team has been cheering me on as I have lost weight doing the nut appts.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Ignore them & soon you will join me in sexy & fabulous small size clothes????

[futuremrsparker 288]

So my surgery date got moved up to next week. This, of course, is going to make work even more challenging on my coworkers cause we'll be short even more staff. Since I am the youngest and having an "elective procedure" the way they are treating me has gone from bad to worse. It's getting to be unbearable. I find myself hiding in rooms doing busy work just to stay away from the snarky comments and questions. It's like they think I need reminded EVERY TIME I talk to any of them of the fact that they're going to be so short staffed. They just don't get it. It was next week or 6 more months! I've waited almost a year! I don't want to wait 6 more months cause the doctors schedule is booked! I'm trying to "just not care" and remind myself that this is for me, but having to work so closely with these people is making me miserable and so sad. I'm not even excited for my surgery.

[kristy3k 1,133]

Is there a supervisor you can talk to... not to make things worse but they are creating a hostile work environment for you and that should not be tolerated. Dont hide girl... we have hidden our whole lives. Put a smile on your face and slay the dragon. If that means creating waves with a supervisor to make these small minded women stop then so be it. It is time for you to be selfish. This is your time. Embrace the new you!!!!

[Cherry 71]

Is there a supervisor you can talk to... not to make things worse but they are creating a hostile work environment for you and that should not be tolerated. Dont hide girl...!

AGREED - most pertinently is that this is a hostil work environment. You NEED to be looking forward to this. Surgery, ANY surgery, really requires a good attitude to foster healing! I am soooo mad for you! Speak up for yourself or else, take a small leave if you can. But how exciting that your date was moved up!!! I too had a date moved up and about flipped with excitement then went crazy trying to make all my arrangements more quickly.

[caitiegirly07 31]

Just so you know most company's have a section in their employee handbook. I know where I work we are not to discuss fellow employees medical history or problems. It is grounds for termination. However if I choose to discuss that is fine but it has to be positive