Marriage after surgery

[Jackie0384 52]

has anyone had any marital problems since having surgery? I am one year post op..lost 102 lbs...am currently a size 6 and am finally feeling good about myself. for the past 4 months though...my husband has gotten very jealous....started picking fights...and the other day had the audacity to call me stitch due to my having scars from my RNY surgery and previous open gallbladder and open heart surgery. He doesn't see how that was hurtful and has only apologized sarcastically. I'm trying to save this marriage.....but I can only take so much. So..... If you did have problems...what did you do? I need advice!

[music1618 879]

Jackie,

I have been married 10 years next month and before the surgery we talk and talk about things. I will say we have had a few rocky times since then. Like when he brought home a chocolate cream pie thinking I could eat it. I am 9 months post op and for the most part we are like newlyweds again.

I would ask you is your husband overweight?

John was trying to get in better health and my surgery just lined up with that and we were able to find another common bond.

I think most couple grow apart because one wants a happy healthy lifestyle and the other is accepting of the unhealthy life style.

Now I will say the men hitting on me has been a nice ego boost and I something my husband has never had to deal with. We are working through a lot of things.

It is all about communication communication communication. Your wants,dreams,fears need to be discussed on both side.

[sc_mama4 92]

Well. In 06 I discovered my husband had been cheating homosexuality since we wed. I gave chance after chance and nothing. Finally it hit me one day I don't need him so I began getting my life I. Order the surgery etc and knew I was filing after surgery. I ended mine but it was something I had to do I cpuldnt take the betrayal any longer. Towards the end he changed fro jekyl to hide constsntly. I vowed this. I made the choice to better my self and left. Rny can someti ed be our fairy god mothers. Hugs!

[pointer 92]

Well. In 06 I discovered my husband had been cheating homosexuality since we wed. I gave chance after chance and nothing. Finally it hit me one day I don't need him so I began getting my life I. Order the surgery etc and knew I was filing after surgery. I ended mine but it was something I had to do I cpuldnt take the betrayal any longer. Towards the end he changed fro jekyl to hide constsntly. I vowed this. I made the choice to better my self and left. Rny can someti ed be our fairy god mothers. Hugs!

That's crazy and good for u. Someone else is waiting for u

[pointer 92]

has anyone had any marital problems since having surgery? I am one year post op..lost 102 lbs...am currently a size 6 and am finally feeling good about myself. for the past 4 months though...my husband has gotten very jealous....started picking fights...and the other day had the audacity to call me stitch due to my having scars from my RNY surgery and previous open gallbladder and open heart surgery. He doesn't see how that was hurtful and has only apologized sarcastically. I'm trying to save this marriage.....but I can only take so much. So..... If you did have problems...what did you do? I need advice!

Try therapy and if he wants ur marriage to work he'll so what it takes or he may need to loose u

[JustJenn 542]

I agree. It's easy to make food our common bond in a marriage. And our husbands find comfort in consistency, and this surgery and make your marriage doing cartwheels and complete 360.

Find new bonds. Outside activities. Talk more. My hubby enjoys going hiking with me. He loves shopping for cloths with me. He loves when I ask his opinion on how stuff looks lol. I love the look he gives when I ask if something makes me look fat!!! Lol he gets this nervous look. To die for!

We go to the movies a lot now. We don't do dinner and a movie. We mini golf and are going fishing today. We are back in dating mode to see what we enjoy doing together and talking about what is now important to us. I love that I can e goofy and obsessive about what I eat and he can he can ask me if I'm going to take one more bite because he doesn't want to hear me complain. Lol

Don't get me wrong we still have out moments but I am committed to showing him that even though my packing had changed I'm still the same contents.

Best of luck!

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

[pointer 92]

I continued to cook for my hubby but he actually eats more like me know.

[mrsb12 73]

I continued to cook for my hubby but he actually eats more like me know.

I wish my husband would understand that its hard not being able to eat like before but he tries to encourage me but he's not considering his own health. That was dead wrong to call you stitch and def got to love ourselves and ask God for guidance .....

New life style 1-21-13: <br />SW:368.8 LBS<br />CW: 299.2 (AS OF 4-11-13)

[pointer 92]

I wish my husband would understand that its hard not being able to eat like before but he tries to encourage me but he's not considering his own health. That was dead wrong to call you stitch and def got to love ourselves and ask God for guidance .....

New life style 1-21-13: <br />SW:368.8 LBS<br />CW: 299.2 (AS OF 4-11-13)

Yes it is