April 2013 Post-Op Group

[dmkar 7]

Oh man mama i am so sorry to hear that. It's terrible. Girls' date=' to be honest i am very worried now about this smoking thing. I smoke. A lot. I stopped for 3 months presurgery and started again about one month post op. I know it is bad and i understand it is especially bad after this op and why.but here's the thing. Smoking is all i got. My life is so terribly terribly shit at work that i feel i am at the brink of a disastrous breakdown. I am doing my all to balance my sanity. Ofcourse you all understand about the stressors and anxiety we have about all kinds of things - including: • missing comfort from food • coping without its "help" • will i succeed • getting foodstuffs right and ready • doing research in eating plans and stuff (i am so frustrated cause all the info i get - 65% we dont have in south africa and i just cant seem to manage to get all my Protein ;-((( • trying to amp myself to go gymming and doing exercise. I hate exercise! And i am telling myself i like it and want to do it because it is needed and part of this process - but deep down i still hate it and i want to shout it out so that i can come clean to myself • i have a lot of debt because of all the costs involved and i cannot seem te get out of it plus my parents are struggling a lot financially and i am so worried about them, they are also quite sickly and i am so afraid one of them might die, i will totally be f*cked of something happened to either if them and i dont know how to make it all better their whole situation and where their desperation is taking them and it breaks me to see them struggling like this they are the best parents in the world and dont deserve this life • my mental state is up and down a lot and sometimes it gets really bad and i dont know what to do about it - i'm off my meds since surgery and although we have a good bariatric team here i feel the psych part is totally lacking, i saw the psychiatrist but it was a 30 minute or so talk and he was actually yawning (excusing himself for it, but still keeping on) and when i took a huge knock in hospital after my op because the nurses never gave me a substitution for my meds on time (after i had to harass them for it, like it wasnt even important on their notes or whatever) and obviously i was withdrawing he was just never there to check up on me - although his office is around the corner from the hospital - i mean how come?? Shouldnt that be a concern? i mean just one quick check in? especially seeing that i am a "difficult patient" making scenes in the hospital? I was flipping out and telling them something was wrong but noooo. And no use in going to my doctor (the surgeon) as he is just not one of those people that you can go to with your gripes. He is an excellent surgeon and did an excellent job, but there's not that feeling of connectedness to talk about anything that i am feeling, and my fears and problems i am facing, so that is out. There is just no psych professionals here available to deal with bariatric patients and i feel it is so so so important! •bloody hairloss and acne • stressing about my partner and what i am putting him through. He is sticking it out and supports me all the way, but i know he has his own little issues and am i in someway, through all this crap of mine, making him be worse off?? • and the office politics where i am working oh my goodness that is the worst of all of all! I cannot TAKE it anymore, i'm nit even going to begin to talk about it because it upsets me extremely and it is just unbearable and there is actually nowhere to turn • and what if i get a bloody ulcer from all this smoking???? Cause smoking is all i have now. My few minutes to escape at the office, my moments of silence when i drag myself away from the kitchen and bad food, my comfort when the stress just gets too much. It is all i have now to cope - and gasp horror what will happen if i take that away from myself?? So it is not just to quiet for me. What if taking it away is the straw that breaks this camel's back?? I am scared.[/quote']

I completely understand where you are coming from as I am going through some very similar things right now. I don't have very much support from my husband or his family right now and my family is 500+ miles away in NC. My oldest daughter (14) just moved to NC with my dad, stepmom, step sister & her family this past august because of a lot of anger & mental health issues (a lot of it stemming from her dislike of my current husband) and my 13 yr old is just so mean, nasty & grumpy to everyone. My husband has been downright mean & nasty to me because of my smoking and because I want to move to NC to be with my family. I hardly have any friends near me anymore either.

Things have been so stressed & strained and smoking is pretty much all I have right now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been having constant headaches and have no energy or motivation for anything. All I want is to be happy & healthy. I have been at a stall for almost two weeks so that hasn't helped matters either as I've only lost 62 since surgery on 4/22. I just keep praying every day that God will get me through all of this.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.

[Krystal7k 243]

I went to a friends wedding I felt awesome I could see alot of old friends scratching their heads looking at me

[ATTACH]5040[/ATTACH]

[deaddemmama 474]

I completely understand where you are coming from as I am going through some very similar things right now. I don't have very much support from my husband or his family right now and my family is 500+ miles away in NC. My oldest daughter (14) just moved to NC with my dad' date=' stepmom, step sister & her family this past august because of a lot of anger & mental health issues (a lot of it stemming from her dislike of my current husband) and my 13 yr old is just so mean, nasty & grumpy to everyone. My husband has been downright mean & nasty to me because of my smoking and because I want to move to NC to be with my family. I hardly have any friends near me anymore either.

Things have been so stressed & strained and smoking is pretty much all I have right now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been having constant headaches and have no energy or motivation for anything. All I want is to be happy & healthy. I have been at a stall for almost two weeks so that hasn't helped matters either as I've only lost 62 since surgery on 4/22. I just keep praying every day that God will get me through all of this.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.[/quote']

I totally get this addiction, you guys, but please, please quit...last Wednesday I passes so much bloody diarrhea I literally passed out on the toilet from shock...there was blood all over my pillow from spitting up blood all night, and that was before I started actively puking blood. Seriously, I almost died. All from smoking. I thought cheating a little wouldn't hurt....I didn't have H pylori, I take prilosec, surely the doctor was just trying to scare me, right? Boy, did I learn differently. Take it from a fellow rny patient...you can get deathly ill from smoking....no bullshit. As far as having nothing else...wrong! You've got YOU and an unlimited source of support from your higher power...whatever you choose to call it. We are strong people, or we wouldn't have made it this far...we love you! And hey, we can always get on here and rant when we want a smoke...then we can support each other...

[deaddemmama 474]

And having said that, I still want to smoke..

[ajustice 484]

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

[Dorian 683]

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

My heart is breaking for you Alaina. You are dealing with so much at once and it is more than one person should have to deal with. Dont be a stranger; maybe we can somehow help you through all of this. Hang in there my friend. Sending love your way.

[deaddemmama 474]

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

I am am so sorry... Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers...much love, hon.

[deaddemmama 474]

Just an update....bloody diarrhea at 1:00 am...severe stomach pain....back to the hospital...blood count steadily, slowly falling. The egd showed my ulcer wasn't bleeding, so tomorrow I get a colonoscopy to check for another ulcer. I'm not going home until they get to the bottom of this....something is really wrong, and I need answers. In the meantime, they ordered a bowel prep with gatorade, and I told then forget it unless it's sugar free. They don't get rny sometimes!

[hockeymumzie 181]

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

[Krystal7k 243]

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

Im so sorry I dont know what to say

[Dorian 683]

Just an update....bloody diarrhea at 1:00 am...severe stomach pain....back to the hospital...blood count steadily' date=' slowly falling. The egd showed my ulcer wasn't bleeding, so tomorrow I get a colonoscopy to check for another ulcer. I'm not going home until they get to the bottom of this....something is really wrong, and I need answers. In the meantime, they ordered a bowel prep with gatorade, and I told then forget it unless it's sugar free. They don't get rny sometimes![/quote']

What is going on with you my dear?? Hope they get you straightened out and back to feeling good soon!!

[Krystal7k 243]

I promised u guys I would give u am update so I am. It's totally devastating at this point but tomorrow I have labs just to confirm what the dr is saying. It's a miscarriage. As of right now looks like fri I am having a d&c. I have to stop all of my blood thinner. I wish things would have turned so so much different and Idk it didn't. I have no answers why I would after all these years get pregnant to just have another loss. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. While a part of me wants to hold out some hope against all hope..I know in my mind it's futile. There was nothing again today on us. With my lab numbers what they are he said there should have been a sight of something at least 5k points ago. At this point I just want it over and to have peace. I don't think I'm ever gonna get over this and this is it for me. 4 losses is all I can handle. I can't go through this again. Crackheads can do it and 14year old girls can do it..so many unwanted children out there and I who could give a child a loving stable home..am not good enough. I will never understand this. Thank you all for the love and support and prayers. It's truly meant a lot to me. I don't know if I will really be on here anytime soon. Too much is overwhelming me. We are also putting our house in the market tomm. It's just too much right now.

Im so sorry I dont know what to say

[hockeymumzie 181]

Got my liver biopsy test results back my liver is really inflamed plus its fatty duh. so lose more weight will see if your levels go down. I've lost a hundred and five pounds already. what more does he want. My levels bounce back up higher in July so I don't know what's going on. I asked if this is causing all the other issues im having that we can't figure out and he said he didn't think so. so If my levels are still up after I lose another 50 pounds he said come back.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

[Dorian 683]

Got my liver biopsy test results back my liver is really inflamed plus its fatty duh. so lose more weight will see if your levels go down. I've lost a hundred and five pounds already. what more does he want. My levels bounce back up higher in July so I don't know what's going on. I asked if this is causing all the other issues im having that we can't figure out and he said he didn't think so. so If my levels are still up after I lose another 50 pounds he said come back.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 253 RNY 4/11/2013

We have lost the same; 105 lbs.

I absolutely hate it when doctors say, "lose more weight and then come back". I had heard that so many times with my back issues! Well ive lost the weight and guess what?? My spine isnt gonna move back to where it is supposed to be!!

Hope in your case it is weight related and nothing more is wrong? Dont wanna mess with body organs huh?!

[Dorian 683]

Had injections in my back today. Hopefully will be the last!! Cant have another one before surgery in December and, fingers crossed, that the surgery will be a success.

The nurses at the clinic all know me and one started coming I and then stopped, rechecked her chart and the room number. She then looked at me again and said "Dorian?" When I said yes she said, "oh my gosh! You look so different! I didnt recognize or think it was you!" Losing 105 lbs will do that! Good feeling!