April 2013 Post-Op Group

[ajustice 484]

Thank u! That means the world to me.

[MGteacher 43]

I think Southern accents are adorable! I am sorry your in laws were so horrible to you. Hang in there and try not to take it personally. It's their problem, not yours.

[hockeymumzie 181]

Thank u! That means the world to me.

Hang in there, and I love southern vices. My mother in law is perfect to a T. That's why I'm very thankful only to see her once a year if that. Nothing is ever good enough. She only cares about her daughter and the kids who live in there town. Lets just say she had only seen my husbands daughter only twice in 24 years. But that's because his ex and his mother would kill one another. We meaning my husband and I don't put up with her B.S. So it does not hurt my feelings when I only hear her voice a few days out of the year.

HW 358 SW 344 CW 268 RNY 4/11/2013

[ajustice 484]

My husbands mom died when he was 7. This is step mom #2. She has no kids and she is obnoxious. I've just tried to stay out of her way and be pleasant for the 1-3x a yr we see them. She has always been vocal and rude. I never really thought my father in law would join in on it tho. We are leaving shortly. I had no sleep and my head is killing me. I am so glad to go home.

[countrygirl 84]

Thank u! That means the world to me.

I'm fr om Tennessee &love my accent

[Dorian 683]

My husbands mom died when he was 7. This is step mom #2. She has no kids and she is obnoxious. I've just tried to stay out of her way and be pleasant for the 1-3x a yr we see them. She has always been vocal and rude. I never really thought my father in law would join in on it tho. We are leaving shortly. I had no sleep and my head is killing me. I am so glad to go home.

Hope your day gets better my dear! She is obviously obnoxious and has no idea how to treat people! Write her off and move on to better things. She should be ashamed of herself! Hugs to you!

[jules1210 33]

Having a really hard time. I truly was hurt by my Inlaws. They basically teamed up on me arguing about my southern grammar and how certain things I say make me sound ignorant and why did I continue to

Say things and raise my child like the pattern to use southern words and even if I knew it was wrong. Why didnt I want my child to speak better. I will never go to their house again. I am basically done with them and wanna take my little ignorant southern ass home. I have spent the last hour crying my eyes out. My husband admits it was awful of them. I just wanna go gorge myself in cake or ice cream or something. This truly has been the worst I've felt since surgery and I have no outlet. I'm stuck crying my eyes out alone. I'm so hurt I can barely stand it. Nothing much I can do but I feel like I could eat to the point of making myself sick. I hate this. I hate feeling this way.

Sorry that happened to you! Talk about ignorance! How about the fact that they have no tact and are rude as all get out! I was always raised in a southern home; however, in a southern home you are always taught respect for yourself and others! You continue to be southern Hun there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! (((HUGS)))

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[ajustice 484]

I really appreciate all of y'all. It has honestly been good to talk with my husband today. He actually told them that my family nor anyone I know of would have ever ever treated him in anyway like I was and that he knew for sure nobody ever would have received that kinda treatment in our

Home either. I just hope one day I can get to where I can tolerate them again. I don't want to alienate him from him family but I truly don't feel like they are MY family. Thanks for all the support. It's truly amazing and why I totally call y'all my friends

[countrygirl 84]

I really appreciate all of y'all. It has honestly been good to talk with my husband today. He actually told them that my family nor anyone I know of would have ever ever treated him in anyway like I was and that he knew for sure nobody ever would have received that kinda treatment in our

Home either. I just hope one day I can get to where I can tolerate them again. I don't want to alienate him from him family but I truly don't feel like they are MY family. Thanks for all the support. It's truly amazing and why I totally call y'all my friends

Maybe you should write them each a letter when time allows & explain the problem to them &hopefully this will be the start of them apologizing for their actions &behavior , you stronger then I would be because I don't put up w/anyones crap disrespecting my southern draw when I talk. Stand your ground & good for your husband for speaking to them also.

[Janice's Journey 3]

Having a really hard time. I truly was hurt by my Inlaws. They basically teamed up on me arguing about my southern grammar and how certain things I say make me sound ignorant and why did I continue to

Say things and raise my child like the pattern to use southern words and even if I knew it was wrong. Why didnt I want my child to speak better. I will never go to their house again. I am basically done with them and wanna take my little ignorant southern ass home. I have spent the last hour crying my eyes out. My husband admits it was awful of them. I just wanna go gorge myself in cake or ice cream or something. This truly has been the worst I've felt since surgery and I have no outlet. I'm stuck crying my eyes out alone. I'm so hurt I can barely stand it. Nothing much I can do but I feel like I could eat to the point of making myself sick. I hate this. I hate feeling this way.

Gosh, I could talk for hours about terrible in-laws! I feel so sorry for you. I got married at age 23, and my in-laws never accepted me. I've always treated them with respect and kindness. My father-in-law was very nice, but he was so afraid of his dragon lady wife, he went along with it. My husband never stood up to his mother...I think he was afraid to and had a life long fear of "standing up to mom" and suffering her wrath. We even went for counseling about this, but my husband never learned to support me. When they didn't acknowledge the pregnancy and birth of my 2nd child, I decided I was done with them (age 34). I told my husband he could visit them any time, with children. He did a couple of times, but then they started to treat him badly (because I wasn't there to take all the slings and arrows), so he stopped visiting them. The in-laws went to their grave rejecting us and our 2 lovely daughters. Their loss! Anyway...I was always respectful of my "elders", and I go to great lengths to avoid confrontation. At age 53, this is what I've learned. You teach people how to treat you. If you allow them to treat you badly, they will continue to do so. I wish I had stood up to them when everything started when I was age 20, but I didn't have the confidence or the skills to do it. It is CRUCIAL that your husband backs you up and stands up to his parents about their behavior. If things don't improve, cut them off. Do not allow anyone to treat you badly. Value your (lovely) self more than that. If your husband loves and respects you, tell him that you two are a united front. Marital loyalty comes before parental loyalty. I will stop here, but I am very passionate about this and suffered greatly for years at the hands of my in-laws. Every holiday and special event were ruined because of my mother-in-laws nastiness (I suspect it had a big mental health component to it). Anyway, I don't know you, but I detect a sweetness and a kindness in you. Value yourself. You are on a fabulous journey to self improvement. Make how you allow others to treat you a priority. Don't wait until your 50's to learn this! I've said my peace. Good luck to you.

[shershrinking 53]

Those rude people shouldnt be allowed out of the house. And dont visit them. They are a bad influence on your children. I would keep my kids away from them. They owe you an apology. They are completely uncultured.

I love southern accents - and all accents and old phrases- Life would be so boring if everyone spoke perfect english. Dont deny your roots! It is just one of the many things that make us special.

[shershrinking 53]

I often think when someone is rude to me, a grown person, how rude might they be to someone who cant defend themself.

[ajustice 484]

Well..I honestly have talked to my sister in law about my husbands step mother and how she treats people and has managed to alienate other members. As we were leaving today I told her that regardless due to my raising I would have never disrespected her in my home not would my "ignorant" family cause that's not how we were raised. I think it hurts my husband to know I have always been polite and tolerated her mouth and kept a smile on my face even with her little digs and now there is no going back for me. He knows no one would dream on doing anything like that to him to make him even remotely uncomfortable. I literally wash my hands of all

Of her negative ways. I thank u guys for all the love

[Dorian 683]

Well..I honestly have talked to my sister in law about my husbands step mother and how she treats people and has managed to alienate other members. As we were leaving today I told her that regardless due to my raising I would have never disrespected her in my home not would my "ignorant" family cause that's not how we were raised. I think it hurts my husband to know I have always been polite and tolerated her mouth and kept a smile on my face even with her little digs and now there is no going back for me. He knows no one would dream on doing anything like that to him to make him even remotely uncomfortable. I literally wash my hands of all

Of her negative ways. I thank u guys for all the love

Good for you! You are obviously the better person and it is time to move on. You have tried to remain polite but enuf is enuf! Yay for you!

[jaye1464 70]

Well..I honestly have talked to my sister in law about my husbands step mother and how she treats people and has managed to alienate other members. As we were leaving today I told her that regardless due to my raising I would have never disrespected her in my home not would my "ignorant" family cause that's not how we were raised. I think it hurts my husband to know I have always been polite and tolerated her mouth and kept a smile on my face even with her little digs and now there is no going back for me. He knows no one would dream on doing anything like that to him to make him even remotely uncomfortable. I literally wash my hands of all

Of her negative ways. I thank u guys for all the love

I hate you have to deal with that. It reminds me of something my daughter and close friends have said since the surgery: I am bolder and speak up for myself now, never before. I was always in the corner never wanting to be in the forefront or part of any controversy. I didn't want anyone to say anything about my weight. I was so self conscious of it, I let stuff slide by without defending them because I feared a comment or jab about my weight. My new confidence and learning who I am becoming continues to surprise me even more, and I think that it may happen to you and others. Don't let them get you down, you're an amazing woman and all of us are here for you. ????