Discouraged

[Bekah231 6]

I came on this site to get inspiration to help myself stay on track with not cheating. I was hoping to find out that I was not alone in this process. It has been 11 weeks since my surgery and I have not cheated once. I am very proud of myself as this has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I still go to BBQ s and events with friends and watch them enjoy wonderful smelling food while I stick to my fruits veggies and Protein. I came on here to see that I was not alone and all I keep seeing is how people are pushing their limits by eating foods like steak and bread and candy. I'm very frustrated because now I feel more alone then ever. I am not by any means judging anyone on here as I am fully aware of the difficulties this surgery comes with. But I am looking to find out I am not alone. Is there anyone that has made it as far or further then myself??? Please tell me there is!! Reading these stories makes me want to cheat!!

[Natasha K 27]

Hi Bekah,

Sorry to hear you are discouraged! We all have our moments, and I've definately had mine! I'm only 7weeks out. I had a little steak this week, and in no way did I feel like I was cheating. If at some point I was able to try a little cookie or whatever, I'm not worried about it. Unless you are worried about food addictions or triggers, I think some things (in our portion controlled sizes) in big moderation are okay. I won't have a steak every week, but it was nice to taste it and it stayed down!!! How far out are you? I think you need to look at what's really driving you to cheat, because only you can make that decision. I'm glad that you posted and are being honest, that takes a lot of courage! Hang in there, you can do it!

[simplysammi 134]

I don't think I have cheated at all. I also haven't got sick or dumped. Lets ban together. Haha

[Bekah231 6]

If u re read it says that I have not cheated AT ALL and I am 11 weeks out and I am discouraged because everyone else is cheating and I am doing my best to stick to the docs orders

I would love to be ur ban buddy!! Which surf did u have and how long ago?

[Natasha K 27]

I understood the first time I read it, no assumptions made. Sorry if you took anything offensive. Just trying to help, giving my thoughts. Take care!

[nienie 113]

I was told that at some point like a year out I will be able to have steak occasionally Some people don't tolerate red beef well but it is a great Protein.

I know it can be discouraging but there are lots of people on here that work the program like they are suppose to. We are all human and sometimes we get tempted and cheat but most if they really want the WLS to work and use it as the great tool it is will stick to what their specific program tells them to do. I do understand when you come upon posts that are asking when they can eat all those wrong foods as this is not why you had the surgery. Most of us ate those foods and that is what got us into trouble.

Kudos to you for being 11 weeks out and sticking to the program. You will be one of the very successful ones. Just don't give up because there really are some awesome people on here with lots of experience who have been very successful and like I said before followed their program like their surgeon asked them too.

[simplysammi 134]

My surgery was 12-12-12 I had bypass. Another thing is every doctor is different. Mine never said no steak and I've had it twice. I mean only like 2 bites but its still not on my no no list. I don't eat any sweets like Cookies or anything but I didn't like dessert before surgery either. How much have you lost so far?

[Bekah231 6]

Natasha. I was not trying to be rude. I apologize if it came out that way... Like I said before I am just frustrated. But as others are stating on here.. Different docs have different rules and I do understand that I need to stick to it. It's just that my doc gave me very strict rules and red meat is a big no no for me until six months post op. so in essence I guess I feel like its not fair... I just have to realize that regardless of what others are doing I made this decision and have to stick with what my doc recommended for me. I think I'm going to start my cycle so my cravings are out of control!!

I had my surg in dec as well!! I lost 28 per op and 45 post op. how much have u lost? I also have not had any dumpings thankfully. Any good food ur eating that is allowed??

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Natasha. I was not trying to be rude. I apologize if it came out that way... Like I said before I am just frustrated. But as others are stating on here.. Different docs have different rules and I do understand that I need to stick to it. It's just that my doc gave me very strict rules and red meat is a big no no for me until six months post op. so in essence I guess I feel like its not fair... I just have to realize that regardless of what others are doing I made this decision and have to stick with what my doc recommended for me. I think I'm going to start my cycle so my cravings are out of control!!

I had my surg in dec as well!! I lost 28 per op and 45 post op. how much have u lost? I also have not had any dumpings thankfully. Any good food ur eating that is allowed??

But then there are people who have no pre-op while others are dying on shakes or those who are on liquids a month post-op and others who are on essentially normal foods a few weeks out....focus on your journey and how great you are doing, being irritated at others is taking away from the joy you should be feeling for yourself!!!!

HW 312, pre-op (lap-band) 294, pre-op (RNY) 255, surgery date 2/11/13, goal weight 154, current weight 237

[Bekah231 6]

Yes I know u are right. It's just difficult when u feel alone and the one place you think u can go for support doesn't end up helping very much

[mommywifeandfat 32]

I read the posts of what people eat and think damn!! Then I remind myself that those foods put me here to begin with and not to be jealous of them bc maybe they won't last or maybe they have other issues.

As for me... I am 5.5 weeks post op. I am terrified to cheat!! I stick to what my dr says. The worst thing I have ate was pretzels. I am allowed saltines, so I figured if I chewed pretzels well it was the same texture. Now, it didn't hurt but I learned I can't do that. It was old habits. Instead of eating the bag... I threw them away. Was that cheating, no way!

I've been part of a few support group boards and I do agree that this board is not always supportive. But everyone has there own way for support and u just need to find those few ppl who are like u and will support u. I personally have 2 awesome friends I met here that provide daily support and encouragement!! Hang in there!!

[mom2lucky (suznc) 81]

That's good that you've been able to exercise self control with your food choices but just because we all had surgery doesn't mean we also were cured of our food desires. People will push their limits, it's human nature to be curious or to be bored with food choices and want to explore. Yes, it can be dangerous going back to trigger foods; not all docs follow the same plan. I'm also 11 weeks out & have been allowed to eat soft steak like filet mignon for a month now. I've only had it once and only an ounce but it wasn't cheating per my plan. I haven't dumped but I also haven't eaten anything with >9 gms of sugar unless it was milk or fruit. I'm over halfway to goal with a loss of 62 lbs - all lost postop since didn't have to do a preop diet. I log everything I eat on MFP & my food diary is viewable to my friends there. It's honest but not always perfect. I feel compassion for those struggling with food choices & hope they will learn & make better choices next time. Don't let others' choices affect your choices. Reading the posts should reinforce to you that you are making the right choices for you & make you feel proud of your success.

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

I read the posts of what people eat and think damn!! Then I remind myself that those foods put me here to begin with and not to be jealous of them bc maybe they won't last or maybe they have other issues.

As for me... I am 5.5 weeks post op. I am terrified to cheat!! I stick to what my dr says. The worst thing I have ate was pretzels. I am allowed saltines' date=' so I figured if I chewed pretzels well it was the same texture. Now, it didn't hurt but I learned I can't do that. It was old habits. Instead of eating the bag... I threw them away. Was that cheating, no way!

I've been part of a few support group boards and I do agree that this board is not always supportive. But everyone has there own way for support and u just need to find those few ppl who are like u and will support u. I personally have 2 awesome friends I met here that provide daily support and encouragement!! Hang in there!![/quote']

My only cheat has been saltines.....I was having so much nausea I finally broke down and sucked on a couple crackers.....oh my tummy was so happy. (I'm allowed carbs, just not crunchy yet.) and sorry if my cracker breakdown discourages anyone but it was awesome!!!!!

HW 312, pre-op (lap-band) 294, pre-op (RNY) 255, surgery date 2/11/13, goal weight 154, current weight 237

[Bekah231 6]

U are all correct in the advice u r sending my way.i think I am just really struggling because of my cycle. The first time I had my cycle came with that stomach virus that was going around and I ended up on my bathroom floor for about three days. Had to go be put on an IV at the hospital and was throwing up everything including water...needless to say I did not have any cravings that time lol. Now I feel as though every PMS symptom is hitting me twice as hard especially the cravings and I feel like I am so close to cracking!! But I don't want to! I know those foods are what got me here in the first place and I definitely don't want to turn back!!! I have about 20lbs till I'm at my goal weight and I wanted to go clothes shopping to take my mind off of the eating part but I feel like it will be a waste of money if I'm just going to lose another 20 lbs!! Anyways I'm sorry if I offended anyone on here. I think the bitchyness overtook my body for a bit and I took it out on here!! I know this is a difficult process and I honestly wish everyone the best of luck and I sincerely hope everyone reaches their goal weight and is able to maintain!!!

[Debbiebydesign 93]

I came on here to see that I was not alone and all I keep seeing is how people are pushing their limits by eating foods like steak and bread and candy. I'm very frustrated because now I feel more alone then ever. I am not by any means judging anyone on here as I am fully aware of the difficulties this surgery comes with. But I am looking to find out I am not alone. Is there anyone that has made it as far or further then myself??? Please tell me there is!! Reading these stories makes me want to cheat!!

It's great that you have been doing well, but I think people are being honest about their challenges. The surgery does not fix the mind. Look at it this way, temptation is our teacher. How do you cope? What is really triggering you?

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I teach this...

I'm also seeing a common cognitive distortion a lot of us employ: "all or nothing" thinking. If we make a misstep, every thing is ruined. Try to remember if you do make a mistake, it doesn't cancel out all those good weeks.