Over-researched - thinking about cancelling surgery

[demsvmejm 5]

MCO

I just read your post, as if I was writing it myself. I would like the band to help me take off and KEEP off 65-70 lbs. I'm 4'11" and 197 lbs. BMI 39

My surgeon said during my consultation. "your not like the rollie-pollies I see in here daily" NEVER heard that before! and thought it was also kinda rude. The psych Dr. made a similar comment. And the nurse during my EKG last week said "your not that overweight"

I have been second guessing myself also.

Wondering why can't I keep the weight off by sheer motivation and will-power. I've been overweight since I was 8 yrs old.

I do have high blood pressure and have been on medication for 5+ years. I also had a stroke 2 years ago at the age of 36.

I have been on the fence about this LB for a month.

The only thing postponing this surgery is if we can come with an extra $600.00 (BC/BS co-pay) and me calling to schedule the surgery date.

I really wish you the best you deserve.

We can do this!

[Wheetsin 714]

My advice - a bit different from what you've heard so far - is that if you have any doubts, real and lasting doubts, you'd do well to postpone and spend some more time thinking about whether this is right for you. If you do anything impetuously, you're more likely to have regrets, and having regrets is going to be conducive to a healthy mental "banded state".

I second guessed myself for 5 years. And only when I got to the point of being able to firmly and 100% counteract my second guessing with affirmation did I consider myself ready for the band.

So yeah - that doesn't really address the reasons you gave, but the overall state of doubt. Take your time and really think this through. It needs to be seen as a completely change in lifestyle. It's not something you can ever turn off, it becomes part of who you are and the changes it will force you to make may not be easy ones.

Now as for:

Tremendous Gas Pains, PBing, Ports Flipping, Need for Revision Surgery, Slippage, Erosion, Unable to Eat Certain Normal Foods EVER (grapes, rice, bread, salads, leafy greens, red meat, chicken, etc., etc., etc.), Not Losing Weight (particularly after the first 18 months) - I am freaking out.

I never had a single gas pain.

I've PBed more than my fair share, but it's part of what you accept to endure by having the surgery. A PB, all in all, isn't that bad, but I'll be honest with you - it hurts. Not the actual purging, but the time leading up to it. I didn't realize that before I had my first one, I thought you just kind of burped and there it was, but that isn't the case for most people, and definitely not for me. I'm not trying to scare you away from the band, but I will tell it like it is, and this whole it hurts premise is something I always share at support group. Not to scare people, but because they need to go in understanding what to expect. I get calls and messages from people absolutely freaking out because they're in such pain and don't understand what's happening... they don't know that there's generally a period of pain preceding the PB. But on the brighter side, as soon as what's stuck comes up, it's pretty much instant relief. :confused:

Ports flipping, erosions, etc. are all very unlikely complications. The best way to ease this apprehension would be to spend time studying the medical literature with complication rates, and not just a "support board" (where people with problems tend to go).

As for not eating certain normal foods EVER - don't tell my band that! I can eat everything on your list. I've CHOSEN to not eat red meat, but I can. I eat salads all the time. There are some foods that hurt me to eat (bananas and applesauce, mainly) but I CAN eat them if I want to.

[anonemouse 1]

My start weight was 215 and I am 5'3". For my ticker I used my first goal of 150 pounds, which would be a loss of 65 pounds. Ultimately, if I could I would like to get down to 130, which would be a loss of 85 pounds.

I had researched the band several years ago but quickly came to the conclusion that I could not qualify. While I am considered to be in good overall health there have been several issues which have started to develop which caused me to start reinvestigating the band. I have PCOS, glucose intolerance, and elevated cholesterol. Diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, and sleep apnea which all run in my family are "in my future" if I do not lose the weight according to my PCP.

I went to a local surgeon in FL who approved me for the band and subsequently decided to go with Dr. Ortiz in Mexico. I will be a self-pay.

When it comes down to it though for me the emotional damage I have felt from being overweight is a huge motivating factor for me. I know that a lot of people have a start weight which is much higher than mine and they would be thankful to be at my weight. It may sound crass to some, but I used to be considered one of the prettiest girls growing up. I received a lot of attention for my looks, and was treated very differently from men and women. Please try to remember that everyone has different thresholds of pain they can feel before they feel like they are broken and miserable. I have basically become a hermit over the years.

I do not want to get those looks from strangers, or run into old friends who look at me like "what happened to her?!?", or hear someone say you would be so pretty if you only lost weight, or have a child follow me into a dressing room chanting "you look fat", or have an old lady loudly proclaim to her daughter "look how fat she is", have a man say "I think you are really smart, funny, and a great person but you are just too fat for me.", or in other instances feel like an invisible person when I am in public. I just can't take it anymore.

That's like hearing myself talking. I am your height, and weigh 220-225. One of the things I heard when I went to a support group was "You're so small, you don't need to do this." All I can say to people like that is, "If you had had the chance to have surgery before you got to the point where you had a BMI of 45 or 50 and full-blown diabetes or heart disease, wouldn't you have done it? I know what is in my future if I do not have this surgery. Both sides of my family have a strong history of diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. My mom had to have both knees replaced when she wore them out because of her obesity. At least two of my grandparents died of heart attacks. Both of my grandfathers and two of my uncles have had heart bypasses. To put it simply, I don't want to wind up that way, so I am doing this now, when my obesity and health problems are still reversible.

[juliegeraci 7]

I've been banded 9 months and haven't had any problems. My surgery was easy and pain free. Everyone is different. If you really want this bad enough just know that things can happen but most likely will not. Good luck.

[MCOBandita 0]

Wheetsin - Your posts are always so articulate and full of great insight and advice. Thank you for responding. After thinking about what everyone has said all afternoon and talking with my Mom and best friend (who had RNY) I have decided to go forward. While I still can't say I am 100%-without-a-single-doubt, I now realize that my nerves and tendancy to look for the negatives were getting the best of me! Not anymore!

Thanks guys! I love this board!

[silry 0]

After thinking about what everyone has said all afternoon and talking with my Mom and best friend (who had RNY) I have decided to go forward. While I still can't say I am 100%-without-a-single-doubt, I now realize that my nerves and tendancy to look for the negatives were getting the best of me! Not anymore!

Thanks guys! I love this board!

oh good!!! i know where you are coming from... before we put down the deposit, i went 'nope, not gonna do it'... but a few days later i realized that deep down, i knew i tried as hard as i could and if i didn't do something soon... i'd be dead, inside or out.

so, *hug* and i'll see you in mx!!!

[Kat817 19]

If you will go to the home page, and look at how many members are on LBT,and compare that to the number who are posting with regularity, you will see a vast difference! That is because most find themselves without problems, and are off living their lives. When they have a question or a complication they come here---which is why it seems like the complication rate is so high---when it really isn't. Some people like myself, have just made wonderful friendships, and come back for the motivation, and support...I'd be lost without my friends who went through this with me! But all of us without problems are not starting threads....Or the board would be full of "Having another great day", "Down another pound", "My pants are too big"! They are out there---and we post the comments in all other threads too, but when there is nothing to ask for help with---we just quietly share with one another, and try to chime in when one of us does need some help. It is kind of like taking a poll about feeling good in a Dr.s office!!!

I too can eat almost anything---I do have problems with yeasty donuts (like I really need them anyway!!). I am not hungry, I do not htink about food non stop anymore. When I do eat, I eat much less, and stay satisfied for hours on end. I choose now to eat healthier higher quality foods, because I can only eat so much, so I try to make it count. But to call it dieting? I wouldn't dream of it---when I "dieted" I had foods thatwere off limits, and I felt deprived---I do not feel at all that way now. I eat ice cream with my grandbabies, and I can now run with them too---me????run???!!! What a concept, a year ago I would have laughed in your face! I can now go in any store, and buy clothes off the rack, and not in the Plus sizes anymore! I cannot remember the last time I was the biggest person in the room, and I always felt that way before!

I don't think there is too much information available to you, but I think you need to consider why it seems so imbalanced.

I could not be happier with my decision to be banded---it gave me a life back that I never even dared dream about! A life where I can move, and relax with myself, and enjoy my family, I can eat, and not over eat...I feel...dare I say it???? normal???

Kat

[cutiepie6 0]

Kat817 -- thanks for that email. I just started in this chat room a little over a week ago -- I get banded next Thursday and wanted some insight and then as I read on, started to worry about the problems and issues people were having.

I know this is a good thing and I just want to have a healthy life and I am so glad you put things back in perspective. I have a "life" but want a healthier one and its good to hear that there are many who don't have problems or issues and just go on living.

Your email just kept me in this chat room -- I was ready to disengage myself and do this on my own. Thank you sooo much!!!

[Boo 3]

I just want to say that aside from the weight-loss, the best benefit of the band is that I don't think about food. When I have a good fill, I DO have to be careful to watch for the signs of fullness, or possible PB. But the obsession with food and eating just isn't there. The band takes care of it. It is very freeing!!

Lately, the restriction is not good, so it is probably time for an adjustment on my fill level (haven't had one in six months). Without restriction, all of the old cravings and anxious thoughts over food have returned.

The band is DEFINITELY a good choice for me!

You chose an excellent surgeon, also!

[Kat817 19]

Awww Cutie thanks---but please before you would even considerleaving, stop by some of the threads, not dedicated to a problem---search out your state room---or find one that you like--I ended up in a New Jersey room, and I am in New Mexico!!! But someday I am going to meet these women, who in actuality are from all over (TX, IL etc). I also have a group fo us who were all banded in April of 06 ( Hi Boo!!!) I chat with daily. They have all made this journey with my band a totally life changing event! They shared their lives, family stories, when my DH was critically ill, they surrounded me with emails, and cards, and prayers---this site adds sooooooooooo much to the banding experience--you just have to scratch beneath the surface, and find the threads of support. If EVER you feel a need to find something besides the scary side, email me---I'll do my best to help!

Kat

[cutiepie6 0]

Kat thanks! I do feel better now! Even though my family is very supportive but I just wanted to see what other banders were feeling.

I know things will go well and I'll do well -- my surgeon is wonderful and very caring -- its just a matter of time now -- got so many clothes I can't wear -- its a good feeling knowing I am doing something about my weight -- taking charge is a good feeling.

I'll keep in touch!

[selfpay 0]

Thank you Mcobandita! Everything you said is me. I am a 36 BMI, and have the same thoughts and fears. I was ready to schedule my sugery for next month, and have talked myself in and out of it all week. I just don't know if it is for me. I am so tired of being the fatest girl in the room. I never thought It would be me, but the lifestyle changes, and the problems, and the never again bread, pop, beer, and all the other stuff, how bad do I want it!That is the question!:confused: