Finding myself after weightloss

[tambonzjo 7]

Does anyone else have this problem? After losing 102 pounds, I still see myself as a big girl. I don't feel as if I need to lose weight, the band will watch over me for that.

But I also don't know who I am anymore. I feel lost within my self. It is hard to explain...

I broke up with my boyfriend friday night and told him I need some time for me and to find myself. (There were ALOT more issues than that, but it gave me an out).

I just want to know if anyone else feels "lost"...

Thanks!

Also will someone help me update my pictures? I have new ones but do't know how to do it....

[hlayne 0]

I haven't been banded yet, so I don't really have an answer for you except WOW size 8 is incredible! I hope I can get down to the wonderful single digits! Hopefully someone will respond with some good advice. Good luck!

[Jachut 487]

Quite the opposite actually - I feel like myself again. I guess I wasnt very fat for very many years, where I am now is what I have weighed for most of my adult life. Its more than I wanted to weigh and I wish I'd appreciated it and not dieted myself fat, but I never "saw" the fat me. On some level I knew about it, I felt awful about it and bad enough to seek surgery to fix it. But I still didnt see it when I looked in the mirror, I was in total denial. Now my reflection matches what's in my head and its a good feeling.

[tonya66 13]

I've been reading the book Weight loss surgery for Dummies - it discusses this very issue. Some find themselves, and some feel "different", they don't have that safe feeling any longer.

Counseling might be something you would want to do. There might be some deeper issues that you want to address.

On the positive side, think about what you have done, look in the mirror at yourself, see the beautiful person you are. Be proud! Maybe try on some of your former fat clothes, see the difference! Take some time out for you, reward yourself with a spa treatment, you deserve it! Go have a professional picture done of yourself, and see how beautiful you are, and how far you have come.

As far as editing your picture, I think you go up to the tab that says Quick Links, go down to Edit profile, and then edit your avatar.

[tambonzjo 7]

Tonya,

I had no idea there was a book out called Weightloss Surgery for Dummies. I will get it tommorrow. Thank you so much for the information and advice. I am was able to update my avitar....I figured that out myself...LOL !!

BTW, I went to spend a birthday gift card at Kohl's tonight and have now gone down to a size 6 jean!!!! No idea when I have been this small before..You are right, I did keep and old pair of sweats from my big days...a 22/24. Gonna try to wear them....anyone got a big belt?

[Victoriana 10]

Im so proud of you and a size six? WoW!! Sometimes we define ourselves by circumstances that surround our life and some of us define ourselves by the things we accomplish and other define themselves by the peoplel we associate with, others by their spirituality. There are other ways to define ourselves but the thing I believe is most imortant is Im defined by who I am in Christ Jesus, and that never changes even if everything else does. Bless you!!

[DynamoMini 1]

I have to say that I don't have a band yet, however, I did get to goal and felt totally naked. I didn't know how to move in my new body. I am basically shy and felt very exposed and vulnerable. I really understand what you mean by not feeling like yourself. Basically, you are you, but really the outside is totally different. This time I have some things in place to help me cope. I have been going to therapy for four years, working out for two and will continue as I lose weight, get banded, etc. I know it will feel really raw and painful, but I have chosen to feel my feelings and allow them to wear themselves out. I won't need to overeat to "cover" up again. But I am finally beginning to understand why I felt what I did every time I lost weight. With the band, this time it's a one way trip. I hope sharing this helped, write me privately if this is close to your experience.

[JJB 2]

Hi Tammy. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I have also lost 100 pounds. But my feelings are different. I feel like I have now found the person that was hiding under all that weight. Some times I feel a little strange and dont know how to cope with little things. Like all the energy I have now. It really gets to me because I feel like I cant sit down and my brain cant keep up with my body. But i am working on that.I am also not used to people talking to me so much when I go places. I guess I never noticed people kind of avoided me until now. But I can really see how some people can feel lost. I would think if you just give yourself time to get used to the new you things will get better. Try and enjoy yourself and have fun. Anytime you need to talk you know where we are at.

[ousooner 1]

I can relate. I have been obese all my life. I am discovering a new me. I don't find it bad and in fact quite exciting. I am learning things - like what my new clothing style is now that I can actually choose what i want instead of wearing what I can find. Trying new things that I couldn't before. It is definately a discovery period. I find myself looking in the mirrow quite often see a me I have never seen before. Look at it as gaining something rather than loosing your old self. Take care and congrats!

[mousecrazy 2]

Tammy, I want to congratulate you for the hard work you've put in to get to where you are! You've done so much for your health!

Picture a scale...the kind with two trays, trying to balance. You have put a lot of effort into the one side, physical. Now, it is time to put the effort into the other side, which I'll just call "inner self". Sooner or later, we all have to do this. As you've read in the other posts, some of us feel like ourselves again, and some of us don't know who we are. It's time to find out. If you need the help of a professional (counseling, life coach, minister) then, by all means, throw yourself into it with the dedication you have shown in achieving your physical goals.

This issue, weight loss, has more than one facet; you are already ahead of the game in that you are realizing that!

Good luck, Tammy! You really deserve the entire package!

[marjon9 6]

In the past when I was a lot thinner I got a lot of attention from the opposite sex. I was better looking than I wanted to be. I'm not bragging, it's just how it was. It did not feel like an asset to me. All the attention always made me very uncomfortable, as I'm basically quite a shy person. I really think this is the main reason I got fat, just to avoid all the attention. (And believe me, it works. As a fat man I find that women do pretty much leave me alone.)

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure which version of me I view as the "real" me. In some ways I'm more comfortable as a fat man. But yet when I see photos of myself I look about twice as fat as I thought I was. So I just don't know which me is the "real" me from my own point of view. I don't know whether I will feel like I need to "find myself" as a thinner person. It's entirely possible, I just don't know.

If I do get down around 200 pounds again I'm sure I'll start getting too much attention again. But I'm married now and I feel more like part of a team rather than just being out there on my own. So I don't think it will bother me anymore.