Need some advice!

[heather200202 73]

While I go through this new adventure of mine, I am having some issues with my husband. He is very much over weight and I am worried about him. He's 27 years old and he's in worse shape then my 51 year old father that has heart disease, diabetes and kidney cancer. I want him to exercise with me or go for walks and he just laughs at me. He's been eating so much better since what I make for myself he has to eat or he won't eat. That issue is he eats enough for 3-4 people and I hate saying something but I have. My question is, has anyone been dealing with this and what have you done? I don't want to be the wife that nags on my husband about his weight but I don't want to see him go through what my dad did. Plus I think it will help our marriage in many ways too!!! Please help!!!

[JackieBNates1503 11]

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[heather200202 73]

Is weight loss surgery an option for him too?

It could be for sure but he refuses. I've brought it up and he's dead set against it for himself.

[kiwiladydee 402]

Hi Heather,

I think everyone has to decide for themselves when it's time to make a change to a healthier lifestyles. There is a high rate of marriages and relationships ending after weight loss surgery because of these types of issues. Just because we decided to make this change doesn't mean everyone else will immediate jump on board. I think just cooking healthy meals and making better choices when going out is a great start.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

[JackieBNates1503 11]

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[heather200202 73]

Thank you. I know I can't make him and over all I want the decision to be his. I just wish I could encourage him more to be active. I know he wants to cause his reaction to the scale last weekend. I will just continue cooking healthy meals and hopefully something in his head will make him come around.

[JackieBNates1503 11]

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[worm2872 635]

I was hoping mine would start watching too but so far no... I also have to be careful because I make extra for lunches and I don't eat hardly anything so there is a lot left over. He is eating what I am not. sigh....

[heather200202 73]

I was hoping mine would start watching too but so far no... I also have to be careful because I make extra for lunches and I don't eat hardly anything so there is a lot left over. He is eating what I am not. sigh....

That's what happened at first but I've cut back enough that he has to spilt the meal between his dinner and his packed lunch for work. I can't be around 24/7 and he does great when I'm home but when I'm not, he makes up for not eating.

[abbybeep 53]

Heather-

My fiancé is overweight and I very much worry about his health. Thankfully, despite being overweight, he is in good health. I broke down and cried the other night about his eating habits when he ate like 4 helpings of what I made for dinner. I told him how I felt, for real. I'm not disgusted with him or mad because I can't eat that much. I told him that I was worried about our future together. Now that I've had the surgery, I'm going to (hopefully) live longer and I don't want to be without him! He comforted me and assured me that he was going to try harder to lose some weight. It felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Like everyone has said- it's a personal choice and maybe he isn't ready yet. Good luck <3

[JustJenn 542]

My husband is 80 pounds over weight and I have had the same struggles with him now that I am post op. he eats way to much rice Pasta and bread and drinks diet soda and loves sweets. But we had a heart to heart and he says he wants to work harder so he has been watching what he eats hasn't eased up on the soda but drinks enough Water for the both of us. He has a very physical job so he is always burning and trying to justify his carbs intake lol but tries and I always applaud his effort and praise him where I see him making better choices.

We have a 3 year old and are in talks for another one when I hit 18 months/1 year from now. So he wants to be healthy and happy.

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

[heather200202 73]

Thank you everyone!!! This afternoon after we finished running our errands we sat down and talked. I explained to him that I'm worried for him now. At first I was worried and was afraid I would go down the same path as my father. Which was one of two main reasons why I had the surgery. The other I'm hoping to be able to get pregnant after at least hit my year mark. I know he has a lot of self esteem issues dating back all the way from when he was a kid and being constantly told he couldn't do anything himself without help. We have made great progress together with that. Anyway....we talked and I told him exactly how I felt. Pointed out some stuff to him and told him he doesn't want to deal with what I experienced. I had diabetes and having to poke my finger 5-6 times a day and insulin shots. I was put in the hospital for 5 days when I first got diagnosed with that cause it nearly killed me. Spent the last 3 years keeping it under control with diet only. I told him he doesn't want to come close to having to do that. After our talk and everything that was said he has agreed to start doing more and has asked me to come up with a plan for him. I've spent the better part of the afternoon coming up with a food plan and exercise plan that he won't hate me for. It's not strict yet it's something to get him up off the couch. I've came up with a chart that I laminated to help him out since he does have some memory issues from a childhood illness.

I want to thank everyone that has replied and gave me the kind advice. Hope everyone that is in my position I pray that one day they will realize and start making better health choices too. Thank you again!!! I will keep you informed