mia_c67 11 Posted January 27, 2013 Even though im 2 years out the emotional work after this surgery is so hard!! I think sometimes was it worth losing my happiness, friends, and lets be honest the love of my life!! But somewhere i need to understand that im healthy now and can do so much but its hard to let go... 1 agirlofaith reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sylvia 18 Posted January 27, 2013 I get how u feel. Alot of times i wish i could take it back. I've lost my best friend which was large amounts of food and my favorite hobby eating out. Now it seems like there is nothing fun to do. I think I'm going to seek counseling. I had surgery November 5 2012 and I've lost 80 lbs!! And still regret outweighs my happiness. I hope that i can be happy soon. Will be happy to hear everyone's responses and suggestions. I hate when ppl are not understanding and act like they have such an easy time with the surgery they act like they never get tempted and are always telling ppl what they should and shouldn't eat. Those ppl are full of it and i hate when they post lol sorry for going on my rant lol 6 TinyMamiOf3kids, Immagetitdown12, kisersassy and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mia_c67 11 Posted January 27, 2013 I understand u completley! It doesnt help that im 22 and my friends really dont get it! And the fact that my parents paid cash for my surgery i always feel like i owe them ugh now im crying!! Its ok i can rant all u want! 1 EEsMom reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sylvia 18 Posted January 27, 2013 Yea I'm 25. My friends dont understand but I'm lucky to have 6 close family members that have had surgery!!! Lol i guess it runs in the family 1 EEsMom reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EEsMom 15 Posted January 27, 2013 I'm still pre-op but I can understand, a bit, what you're talking about. When I first started down this road...3 years ago...I had no idea of the emotional spirals I would be going through. And this is before it all! I don't think this is taken into consideration, by the medical professionals we count on. From what I've seen here and other forums, this is happening to too many. We just aren't being prepared. It's not like an apendectomy or knee replacement and it's being treated as such. Maybe it's the psych's fault, who knows. But it should be looked at much differently. If you're having difficulty in your new life choices, please don't just let it go. Talk to someone. Get a dialog going, at least, with someone who will listen and try to help you work through it. All the best to you, and us all! EEsMom 1 mia_c67 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
michelecaples 224 Posted January 27, 2013 I think.it just takes time to undo the habits of a lifetime. Its okay to be upset. Your body will get used to it and once you are down and moving well, you will find new healthy habits to replace eating Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Panda 354 Posted January 27, 2013 Even though im 2 years out the emotional work after this surgery is so hard!! I think sometimes was it worth losing my happiness' date=' friends, and lets be honest the love of my life!! But somewhere i need to understand that im healthy now and can do so much but its hard to let go...[/quote'] I've lost friends as well as the love of my life as well. I'm 10 months out and I'm happy with my physical appearance but most definitely lonely. I have lost a lot more than just weight. I'm 44 years old and starting over is hard. Making new friends. Finding a new man...I'm middle aged for God's sake!! My sister hasn't spoken to me since I've gotten smaller than her...as with a lot of people. The only people that seem to be happy for me are my parents and kids. With you being two years out just let's me know its not gonna get any easier. After a while eating healthy is second nature but i have yet to get used to not having my Ex in my life anymore. My heart aches continuously...all because I chose a healthier lifestyle. Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mia_c67 11 Posted January 27, 2013 I've lost friends as well as the love of my life as well. I'm 10 months out and I'm happy with my physical appearance but most definitely lonely. I have lost a lot more than just weight. I'm 44 years old and starting over is hard. Making new friends. Finding a new man...I'm middle aged for God's sake!! My sister hasn't spoken to me since I've gotten smaller than her...as with a lot of people. The only people that seem to be happy for me are my parents and kids. With you being two years out just let's me know its not gonna get any easier. After a while eating healthy is second nature but i have yet to get used to not having my Ex in my life anymore. My heart aches continuously...all because I chose a healthier lifestyle. Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk Yea it is so hard i just wish more people in my life would get it! I feel for you! This only goes to show that the people that really care will stay in our lives no matter what!! The one comment i still get and cant stand is ”youve changed” and its.like no im just happy now so u should be happy too! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Panda 354 Posted January 27, 2013 Yea it is so hard i just wish more people in my life would get it! I feel for you! This only goes to show that the people that really care will stay in our lives no matter what!! The one comment i still get and cant stand is ”youve changed” and its.like no im just happy now so u should be happy too! Exactly. I'm happy with myself now...why can't other people be happy that I'm no longer self loathing? 117 lbs ago life was very different. I don't miss the food. I just want my friends back! Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted January 27, 2013 I will join in this conversation. I don't feel depress but I do have emotional problems with the way my body looks after losing almost 90lbs? I'm not sure how much I lost now. I know I'm healthier but now I need plastic surgery. That makes me feel yuck about my body. My boobs are saggy my butt saggy my legs saggy I have bat wings my tummy saggy & wrinkly. I feel horrible what happen to my body? I'm just waiting for this year to be over cuz in 2014 I'm getting fix. I haven't lost friends cuz I'm not that kind of person to hang out & go out for drinks & such. I can eat out by my self fat or slim. Never bother me. So can't relate to friends issues. Spouse? I'm still married & we finally have understanding in leave me the F alone. As long as I do my mommy duties he leaves me alone. Oh yeah my sex drive went down hill. I have body imagine issue I don't want to be nude. I was enjoying it very much & now it's like I want to sleep. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
libra_lisa 136 Posted January 27, 2013 Even though im 2 years out the emotional work after this surgery is so hard!! I think sometimes was it worth losing my happiness' date=' friends, and lets be honest the love of my life!! But somewhere i need to understand that im healthy now and can do so much but its hard to let go...[/quote'] I'm just in the beginning this process and I'm wondering if this was the right thing to do...I don't have the perfect thing to say but I will say that if you ever need a stranger to talk to with no judgement whatsoever I'm here for ya....I hope you feel better and FYI you are beautiful!! 2 EEsMom and mia_c67 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
michelecaples 224 Posted January 27, 2013 I am so sirry for those of you that lost so much. I pray my marriage gets stronger and that I gain friends as I am pretty secluded. Not just from the weight, but also from constant pain.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kat77 63 Posted January 27, 2013 I'm still pre opp as well.....I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. I don't know what exactly you went through, but you need supportive people in your life who love you no matter what size you are. I don't know if any of you go to church, but mine offers free biblical counseling and it really helped me with my major depression issues. I was even hospitalized for it, so I do understand...If ever anyone needs to talk, I'm here....no judgment..... Just a good listener....and about people playing high and mighty.....I think we all have moments where we think we are on top of it and think we know best....think we have got it down.....but we didn't get obese by being perfect with food, and I don't think I will ever feel like I am the authority on good eating......we should share good eating habits and tips in a kind and caring way.....don't we have enough mean judgmental people in our lives without getting it from a support site? If I ever sound that way it is unintentional and you have my permission to smack me.....I hope you feel better....you are so beautiful.....I hope you can find people who appreciate who you are and how hard you have worked to get there. Kat 2 mia_c67 and EEsMom reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
worm2872 635 Posted January 27, 2013 These posts tear at my heart and really make me angry. You all seem like wonderful woman and I can't imagine people not wanting to be friends or with you. Society hates us for being fat then hates us for succeeding. The green monster is a terrible thing. We can sit here and say they are not worth it but that fact is the hurt still lingers. I do think counseling of some sort will help. I think I need to start to deal with the emotional piece too. I have wicked body image issues. Poor hubby. You will get your life back and find new friends. Continue to be strong. I'm always here too :-). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
michelecaples 224 Posted January 27, 2013 I'm still pre opp as well.....I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. I don't know what exactly you went through' date=' but you need supportive people in your life who love you no matter what size you are. I don't know if any of you go to church, but mine offers free biblical counseling and it really helped me with my major depression issues. I was even hospitalized for it, so I do understand...If ever anyone needs to talk, I'm here....no judgment..... Just a good listener....and about people playing high and mighty.....I think we all have moments where we think we are on top of it and think we know best....think we have got it down.....but we didn't get obese by being perfect with food, and I don't think I will ever feel like I am the authority on good eating......we should share good eating habits and tips in a kind and caring way.....don't we have enough mean judgmental people in our lives without getting it from a support site? If I ever sound that way it is unintentional and you have my permission to smack me.....I hope you feel better....you are so beautiful.....I hope you can find people who appreciate who you are and how hard you have worked to get there.Kat[/quote'] Beautiful words. You have touched my heart. And... I agree wuth you about know it alls on support sites. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites