Don't know what to do

[Kellyk2511 282]

So my surgery is scheduled for 2/11. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this. I have all the support in the world, my biggest support being my mom. It's been a scary week. My mom got a Migraine (so we thought) and it went down hill from there. Went to one hospital, got misdiagnosed 2x, and we watched her get worse by the hour. Within 2 days, her face was drooping like she had a sever stroke, and she lost all strength in her arms and legs. She got transferred to a great hospital and the dr's and specialists were stumped. It got so bad over the last 2 days we didn't know if she was going to make it. Finally after a spinal tap and a million other tests we found out its a variant of Gullain-Barré syndrome, and while she will have a long, long road ahead of her, she will recover and the dr says it can be reversible. It's been a week from hell but she will live and that's all I care about. Now I have a few decisions to make. Obviously my mothers health is my main concern. BUT she was going to be my main help after surgery. She was going to stay with me for a few days to help with the house and kids (my husband works nights so he's gone at night and sleeps until about 3pm). I'm sure I can find other help with my inlaws, neighbors etc. but if I have this I may not be able to help her when she gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to decide if I should be postponing the surgery. I don't know what to do.

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[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

So my surgery is scheduled for 2/11. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this. I have all the support in the world' date=' my biggest support being my mom. It's been a scary week. My mom got a Migraine (so we thought) and it went down hill from there. Went to one hospital, got misdiagnosed 2x, and we watched her get worse by the hour. Within 2 days, her face was drooping like she had a sever stroke, and she lost all strength in her arms and legs. She got transferred to a great hospital and the dr's and specialists were stumped. It got so bad over the last 2 days we didn't know if she was going to make it. Finally after a spinal tap and a million other tests we found out its a variant of Gullain-Barré syndrome, and while she will have a long, long road ahead of her, she will recover and the dr says it can be reversible. It's been a week from hell but she will live and that's all I care about. Now I have a few decisions to make. Obviously my mothers health is my main concern. BUT she was going to be my main help after surgery. She was going to stay with me for a few days to help with the house and kids (my husband works nights so he's gone at night and sleeps until about 3pm). I'm sure I can find other help with my inlaws, neighbors etc. but if I have this I may not be able to help her when she gets out of the hospital. I'm trying to decide if I should be postponing the surgery. I don't know what to do.

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Give it a little time and see how she is doing. Another week won't hurt but yup, momma has to come first, :/ praying or a quick recovery.

[lovealways 287]

I would think maybe postpone it, as hard as that's going to be, just so you can be there for your mom in her recovery. I think it would be beneficial, because once she's feeling better, she can be more help to you with the kids and your recovery when it's your time to heal. Good luck!

[tzbandtobypass 48]

I had a similar situation in October last year. My husband was diagnosed with cancer (and he is in full remission now) and I had to choose between my own surgery or being his primary care giver during his treatment.

I postponed my surgery, helped him get well, and now he is helping me. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It is so hard to postpone when you've gone through so much to get approved, but you have to be in a place where you can give 110% to yourself. I can't imagine all that you are going through right now, but it doesn't sound like you have 110%to give to yourself.

[ElleG 394]

Do you have any siblings? Sounds like you might be an only child. When my mom is sick I really don't want anyone else helping or making decisions I have to be there because she is always there for me. I have been in and out of the hospital a lot and she's there taking me to the doc cleaning up puke, taking care of my daughter whatever. So when she is down I'm right there ALWAYS. It's tough. I would check to see how long your approval is good for and see what the docs think about mom, how long will she be in the hospital, physical theraphy etc. It will work out for you guys!! I'm so glad she's okay now she just has to get better!! Best Wishes

[ready2smile 138]

What a tough decision for you to make and I'm sorry you are going through this.

Only you know how strong you are and what is reasonable. I agree with everyone else so far. I know how hard it is to wait for something for so long and have it pulled out from under you. Just know that if they approved you this time they will again. You need to be comfortable with whatever decision you make; you most likely wont need help more than the 1st few days after surgery yet there is always a chance of complications that everyone needs to be realistic about. Mentally, I think it would be hard to go through what we do these 1st weeks while distracted by caring for a very ill family member. Not to mention you have to make sure you're focusing on your nutrition and exercise in order to begin the healthy habits you need for making the surgery successful (and avoiding dehydration).

No matter what, we are here for you in support and will be happy to do all we can help as you go through this.