Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[TerriDoodle 6]

That's what I did. You ought to see the volumes I wrote during my time in the hole.

One of the books that helped me get out was In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want. For whatever it's worth to ya. XOXOXO.

[Jennifur 0]

Terry

obviously it is worth a lot if I throw it out there. I can't talk to my friends and family they just scream at me. You guys are the next best thing to me.

I know I want out of the hole, but I am just scared to find out what is on the outside.

I have to log off for a few, huge storms are coming and I need my laptop, how else can i chat with my girls?

[Teachlady 3]

Woooo hooooooooooo!!! Just got back from Curves and the news was all good. I lost 7 inches last month!! That makes a total of 32 and 3/4 inches lost since April!!!! When I got on the scale and weighed, my daughter who works there and is 5# less than me said....... sheeeeeet...Now I really have to get my ass in gear!!! She's really a lovely girl..and my favorite daughter!! :confused:

[Haydee 2]

Hi ladies. Storming bad here in Houston today. I'm at work but ready to go home. I think I might have to break down and start drinking those yucky Protein Shakes too. My doctor says that I have to get at least 70 grams of Protein in per day. I'm only getting about 40 on a good day. A few bites of cottage cheese for Breakfast. 1/2 cup of food for lunch (that takes me hours to eat), and then for dinner I can eat about 3/4 cup of food. Again very very slowly. Unfortunately I've tried so so many Protein Drinks and they are all very yucky to me. I was hoping to do this with food alone, no supplements. No such luck.

Oh wait, do you know what makes me even madder...

I'm not eating much, can't get much down, you would think that the pounds would just be dropping left and right...NOT. I'm still at 266. Since Saturday. No change at all. Sucks.

Off to have a mini pity party....

[Haydee 2]

Congrats Judy!! I will have to start keeping up with my measurements. I know that those would definetly be NSV's.

Thanks for posting about that book Terry. I am in the same boat as Jenn and I will read it too.

Jenn, I think about you all the time. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one wrestling with the "Should I stay, will it get better..." question.

[TracyinKS 7]

Haydee: You are doing great... you are due for a WHOOOOOOOOOOSH I just know it!

Judy: LOL about your daughter.. WONDERFUL on the inches lost!

Jennifer: TIME FOR MAMA TO PLAY!

TracyK: Hope you are feeling better!

Terry: OK you were on my mind at Price Chopper.. I came home with Shrimp, and that Tilipia fish to try... (I am not a fish eater, but you have inspired me to at least try it) Dbf can not tolerate fish or pork... so him being gone next week will allow me to experiment without listening to him belly ache.......... Either you or Judy posted a good way to cook it a month or so ago... please will you either post it again or PM me.

So far today I've eaten those almonds and about 7 bing cherries and that is IT. I stocked up on good quality food so that I will make wise

Bandster Rules abiding choices.. I did get some sugar free fudgsicles for treats..........

I'm making taco salad (me) for dinner but dbf had a special request for my fried shells for him to make tacos....... spoiled brat... I KNEW I should of never fried taco shells in his company! LOL

Time for some more water.......... back in a sec

[TracyK 3]

Journals...whoa. From experience, be very careful what you write in them!! :confused:

[Jennifur 0]

I don't think the food thing is helping me mentally. Still having a hard time so I'm doing Protein Shakes and Soup. Which btw is beginning to help with the bathroom issues, plus I got some of that stuff that was posted the other day. I called my mom and her RN friend gives her 2 year old that stuff so I figured keep some on hand.

I agree, it is time for me to play, but unfortunately the universe is telling me to stay at home and work on me.... not really what I want but there must be a reason.

Went to the cemetary while I was having my breakdown today. Dont know if that was good or bad, i must look like a nut to anyone driving by, i just lay down over his grave and talk away

I take my measurements. It has helped. at least when I don't see numbers I can see inches going away.

Haydee - deep down, we know they are right, but that does not mean that it is easy to climb out of the hole. I have not really cried since surgery... Maybe I was just long overdue, because I cried so much today my head hurts. As for Protein, I don't think I was getting enough, doing 2 shakes gives me 65g plus my black bean/sausage soup getting a ton about 85g a day and the scale has gone back down - I was at 225 a few minutes ago. I think I was getting so busy I forgot I needed to track protein, not just Water.< /p>

Well, here comes another storm... i'm just going to unplug instead of shut down..LOL

TracyK - it doesn't matter what I write. I sent kev a journal I kept while he was in the hospital and I have some other stuff on myspace. the real personal stuff I just don't put on paper.. from experience

[Ms Jen 1]

That's what I did. You ought to see the volumes I wrote during my time in the hole.

One of the books that helped me get out was In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want. For whatever it's worth to ya. XOXOXO.

Terri, I too was going to suggest "In The Mean Time." I'm guessing it is the same book by Van Zandt!?! If it is, I think I'm somewhere between the 2 and 3rd floor in my life. Much better than the basement I was in last year.

I'm excited this week. I'm down 2#'s since the 4th. :clap2:

[TerriDoodle 6]

Isn't that a great book? I read it twice. So how ARE things going with you and DH??

I just had a long heart to heart with my dh...things haven't been good for several months. He used to be easy to talk to but not so much anymore. I really tried this time....to just talk and not get into an argument....but he didn't seem willing. Seems like he really likes to fight now where he didn't used to. Male menopause or something. I wish I could make him happy, but apparently I can't. He's watching TV and I'm on my laptop. Same shit, different day.

[TracyinKS 7]

amen sister

[Teachlady 3]

Evening ladies..

Just finished a half hour on the bike. It was late when we got going so had to cut the time in half. But it still is a good workout and lots of fun. I really enjoy seeing all the landscaping in all the yards around town. Tomorrow we're going to work on putting up new fencing on one side of the yard. The fence we have now doesn't keep our yorkies in. We thought we had it fixed with green plastic webbing, but something is chewing through it and making holes big enough for our littlest yorkie to get out and boy does he RUN when he gets the chance. We have a wedding in the afternoon and then out to DD's house for a cookout. It's going to be 85 tomorrow and 90 on Saturday. Pool.. here I come!!!

Everyone have a good night and remember...... :confused:

[TerriDoodle 6]

For those of you that are kinda iffy about fish....I tried some tonight that was absolutly delicious! I bought it at Sam's and it's called Treasures from the Sea, Parmesan Encrusted Tilapia. OMG!! I'm home!!!

On another note, however, I think I'm going to go on fluids for a day or two. Everything is a struggle to get down. Hope it helps.

[Kat817 19]

Hi everyone---once again, thank you more than I know how to say for the continued prayers for my family and my little Kinsey in particular.

It seems that is was just an everyday gastro intestinal virus that was especially vicious, and contagious, as it has now taken 4 generations of us (my Mom is now sick) down in less than a week. No one else who was at the anniversary has been ill, so thankfully I did not poison everyone. Most of us have been hit hard, and recovered about as quickly, not so with Kinsey.

Her case has left her with issues in the colon. Her colon is inflamed, and non reactive. It is not allowing food to enter, so there is no absorption taking place. She is failing, bit by bit, and they have continued to tell us to wait it out. Today, they finally decided maybe that isn't working---and we had a surgical consult. He sent off yet more specimans for culture....and if it warrants it, we will be flying her to either Albuquerque to the University Hospital, or to Denver to the Children's hospital, depending on what type of issue they think we are dealing with. They have downgraded her condition to critical. She bounces from sleeping, which we found out was caused by her blood sugar being below 40! To being so irritable as to not be recognizable--a screaming raging child....to one sobbing for food. It absolutely has broken my heart into a million, million pieces. She tells us point blank she is hungry, and asks for any and all kind of food she can think of...with giant tears in her big blue eyes....then she just goes limp, with the look of total dejection. She is 2, she does not understand why we keep letting them poke her, why we will not feed her....why we don't help her when she tells us her tummy hurts. She begs, Please Granny. And repeats "no pokes, no needles, please" everytime someone new enters the room.

Add to this heartache (and it is TRUE heart ACHE), my DD's ex, Kinsey's father, is there trying as usual to be the funny man---and his mother an OR nurse at the hospital we are in, going behind everyones backs and putting down Dr.s and nurses, and questioning them and ultimately pissing them off--- and causing problems....I do not know which way to turn.

The ex, and his Mom were arguing with my DD about whether the Dr. might want to run a blood test that might tell them about a disease that my DD's grandma on her Dads side had called Celiac Disease. The nurse dislikes the former MIL anyway, so ordered everyone except the 2 who have been staying the night with Kinsey out of the ward. Now this being said....the arguement was not loud, it was out of the room, and Kinsey is the ONLY patient in Peds. She saw it as a chance to get rid of Renee (former MIL) and did it. So we all were banished. My DD was there with her bf/fiance....they had not had a chance to eat...well we are fighting to get DD to eat, she refuses until her baby can eat....it is more than I know how to handle. Rick waited until shift change, and took some dinner to the hospital, and they were going to take turns going to the waiting room---I just don't think my DD is eating at all either---I keep telling her Kinsey needs her strong. It is very hard to put anything in your mouth knowing she is begging for the same.

There were 3 nurses on the floor today, with Kinsey the only patient. At one point, she had a blow out---we had her in a diaper, due to this happening...but she went through the diaper, all over the bed, all over her Mama, her gown, the whole 9 yards. I sent my DD to change, and I proceeded to clean Kinsey up after telling the nurse. They were each on a computer comparing prices of the new Harry Potter book. I got Kinsey cleaned up, walked her out to the hall, found her a new gown in the shelf, took her in and dressed her. By then her Mama was back, and she sat down and held her, while I stripped the bed. I went walking out into the hall with this wad of smelly sheets and ask what they wanted me to do with them, she POINTED to a soiled linens hamper thing. Then she got up, walked to a closet, and handed me linens for the bed! They did not come in and disinfect the mattress----nor did she make the bed! I did. Our baby needed to lay down. They come in 2 times today and did vitals----nothing else. She is still casted, it was due to come off today, the nurse never mentioned to the Dr, we needed a ortho consult until after office hours---now she is stuck until Monday. They did not offer to help bathe her----NOTHING!!! Changed one bag of IV fluids....took 2 sets of vitals.....and surfed the net all day.

Now this is the first day for this set of nurses....all of the other shifts, and sets of nurses we have had, have went out of their way to make us comfy, and help our little one in any way---today they were absolutely worthless. Tomorrow I intend on finding out who the nursing supervisor is, and filing a complaint. I have no way to make our baby better.....and I have emotions pent up that those worthless women know nothing about----but are fixing to find out about! While I am there seeing the supervisor or charge nurse or whoever....I will also mention, that we had Kinsey in a wagon pulling her around and around and around the 3rd floor......anythnig but her room, she was so tired of her room....and on one of our turns we passed the ICU entrance. There was a male nurse there Julian, who teased her every time she passed, he would hand her a new crayon.....then a piece of paper....and finally a stuffed doll (out of one of the claw grabber kind of machines it seems). She was so listless, but she would spark a little knowing we were coming up to where he was....he helped our day immensley....I will commend him, as I do my best to take the others down. Amanda said he even come by to tell her to get well, he was going on his 4 days off, and he hoped she was home and well before he come back to work. Her nurse.....never even walked into the room before she left.

Thank you all for listening once again---all these things are boiling inside me. I am scared to death for Kinsey. Latching onto the anger I can control.

The plan as it stands now is to begin introducing good bacteria into the system tomorrow...similar to what is found in yogurt. IF the tests do not show a total shut down. If they show a total failure, we are off to a bigger hospital for surgery. She has lost weight, she is under 17 pounds now. She doesn't show it much because she is really swollen from all of the IV fluids. They are also watching her blood sugars every 3 hours (which is just another poke----and was NOT done on schedule today), and adjusting the glucose in her IV. They finally gave her some Pepcid type of stuff in her IV for the acid in her stomach, since nothing is passing normally. She has complained less of her tummy hurting with that. And that is all----we wait now....and wait....and wait....and wait.

I have my lap top, and I have connection. I just cannot sit in her room with these tears streaming down my face. You guys are my release in so many ways....thank you so much.

I will let you know something as soon as I can. Please continue the prayers.

Rick has avoided the vomiting....we got him some Kaitrel or something like that....so he is hanging tough. Being right there holding her like her Papa always does.

Hugs to you all! Sounds like the food issues continue---I promise you girls---it gets easier, it becomes normal dare I say?

Kat

[BabyGotBack 0]

Evening ladies..

Just finished a half hour on the bike. It was late when we got going so had to cut the time in half. But it still is a good workout and lots of fun. I really enjoy seeing all the landscaping in all the yards around town. Tomorrow we're going to work on putting up new fencing on one side of the yard. The fence we have now doesn't keep our yorkies in. We thought we had it fixed with green plastic webbing, but something is chewing through it and making holes big enough for our littlest yorkie to get out and boy does he RUN when he gets the chance. We have a wedding in the afternoon and then out to DD's house for a cookout. It's going to be 85 tomorrow and 90 on Saturday. Pool.. here I come!!!

Everyone have a good night and remember......

I just wanted to thank you for fixing my picture!!!