Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[kity 2]

I found this in another thread and thought I'd share w/ my violets! Enjoy...xoxoxo

Don't toot in Bed

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know

And I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of tooting

Loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water

And make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because

It was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was

Perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that

One day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for

Dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where

She had put the! Turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the

Spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep

And, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic

Waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into

His shorts

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting

Which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic

Footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor

Laughing, tears in her eyes!

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his

Bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her

Lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, 'Honey, you were right.' 'All these years you have warned me

And I didn't listen to you.'

'What do you mean?' asked his wife.

'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up tooting my guts

Out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got

Most of them back in.'

[mdrai 3]

I think it's the margarita I had at dinner tonight, but that made me laugh out loud!! Thanks!

[Daisalana 33]

Michelle what size are you now?

[janiebug 0]

Well I am off to bed and then I am leaving at the crack of dawn (at least for me) 6:30 a.m. The real trick is whether this friend opf mine will make it here at that time. As far as morning goes we are about equal! Have a good weekend and will be back Sunday!!!

Jane

[Kat817 19]

Have fun Jane!!!

I just got out of the bathtub---it still amazes me how much I missed taking long soaking bubble baths! I had got to the point, getting out was difficult---slippery tub, supersized me....not a good combo!!

To be able to slide in and scoot down til the Water laps at my chin--and not feel like a beached whale----priceless!!

Tracy--how is Cody settling in?

Michelle---if you want to connect with a friend of mine, here on LBT, she can probably hook you up with special promotional codes for WDW---for discounts on food, attractions etc. She is a fanatic, and has helped several here optimize their vacations. She is super sweet, and truly loves helping anyone enjoy Disney! Her name on LBT is Piercedqt78, her name is Mandy. She actually writes some of a newsletter concerning promotions for WDW.

I need to sit down and wrap Kinseys birthday gifts--she is going to be so surprised! She got a gift in the mail from my Aunt today, she was excited as could be---she has no idea that she is going to have a mountain of them tomorrow! Last year at 2, she would tear the paper IF you got it started, but she was unsure of it all---this year she knows how to tear into things!! I have the camcorder charging.

Went today and paid my property taxes----OUCH!!!!! They could not come due at a worse time! For years and years they as well as our house insurance were paid through an escrow account with our house payment, but then several years ago when we paid the house off, they became my responsibility---yuck! I got the house insurance to where I paid it monthly for several months, decided May was a good time, now pay it yearly in May---but the property taxes are always due right here at Christmas. Oh well the tax man cannot come after my house for another year!!

Well, think I will go play a game or 2---then call it a night.

Night night all!

Kat

[guysis 0]

Hi all you fabulous loosers of April 2007...............have not been here for a while - just wanted to check in - say hi - and tell you how proud us oldies are of you all............you're doing great.

Kat - come say hi on the exercise thread - we miss you! Have you seen pictures of Julie lately - absolutely astounding - she is gorgeous (inside and out).

[TerriDoodle 6]

Morning everyone!

Pamela - Christmas in Hawaii sounds divine! I am such a scrooge....getting away for the holidays always sounds great to me! TracyK and I live on polar opposite sides of town....and in Houston that equates to 50+ miles apart... here's a map link:from: dickinson, tx to: cypress, tx - Google Maps just in case you are that curious! LOL

I shopped for 6 hours yesterday...and only bought stuff for myself. My mission was to find something to wear to Christmas parties this year and I was apparently way behind!! The selection was very slim. Anyway, ended up getting some nice things at Chico's besides just party stuff. Laura, like you said, there's 50 sleeveless things for every 1 with sleeves. Or if it has sleeves, then it's too heavy for Houston. At Christmas time it can easily be 80 degrees outside....or 40....you never know. So this is what I got to wear to my company's Xmas party (that I coordinate). It's very comfy and cool....and you can't really see it, but the buttons are beautiful rhinestone thingies. Very nice. I was shocked to see that I wear a size 2 (they size 0,1,2 & 3) in most things there!! Freaky! I'm still not used to shopping for clothes.... always have to exchange for smaller sizes after trying on.

Today is beading day for sure. Yea!!

TracyinKS - yeah, how ARE things with Cody???

Cindy - I might get a kit, but I doubt I'd be very good at it. It would certainly be worth a try! (I don't do the small beads, I do the bigger stuff)

Judy - What is that thing you got for Bob? I'm always at a loss for what to get my husband!!

That's a good question for everyone.... if you have a hubby or SO... what are you getting them for Xmas? I need ideas!!

[Suziecat 379]

Gosh, can you believe it's December 1st? Where has the year gone?

Just sitting here watching the news. It's raining outside and a cold 36 degrees. Supposed to get up to 57 today but still rainy. Looks like a stay in day for me. I do have to get out latter though. I go to church on Saturday and to day is my day to Usher. I also volunteered to sell nuts after church for the Womens' Ministry. It helps raise money so we can do things around the church. Than it's Football night. GO MU.:cheer2:

Kat- I'm jealous about the bathtub. The only time I get to use the tub is when I sit one the side to shave my legs. I just barely remember the last time I ever did take a bath. Hopefully in a year I will be able to try it again.

Everyone have a great day :clap2:

[kity 2]

Buenos Dias Violetas~

Terry~ I got a kick out of that map. That whole area is what we call Houston??? WOWser. Too bad ya'll aren't closer to each other. We are in talks about Hawaii, the more work we do this year, the better it is looking. 2 years ago, after mom died, I wanted to get as far away from xmas as possible. We went to Fiji! It was wonderful! But they have xmas in Fiji...just w/ skinny black santas! What a great trip! Our big trip we are talking about (started planning) is Germany/Italy/Switzerland this summer. We are hoping to go before Susanne finds a new job!

I loved the holiday outfit too! Beautiful! This year I am skipping the holiday party to go to a semi high school reunion at this castle our friends owns. Here is the link California Castle if anyone wants to see it. Curt is our friend from school and he bought this amazing property. He rents it out on weekends, etc. Come complete w/ costumes etc. Anyway, I am going there on the 15th. It will be great to see everyone!

Susanne is off getting a massage I bought for her. 75 min...should be nice (at that price it better be). Terry that is a possibility for hubby. Especially after a long golf game. Or you guys can buy each other some furniture like we did :girl_hug:.

It rained here all day yesterday. By the 5 pm news, we had more rain yesterday than all of 2007 combined. I loved falling to sleep listenting to the rain. So today is SPECTACULAR...everything is crisp. But gonna be 60 as our high (for us...that is soooo cold). But it should be 82 on Wed...aaahhh!

Kat~ I know about taxes. Dec. 10 and April 10:faint:. I pay 2 times a year. I figure why not collect interest on my money in my bank. Hate that it comes in Dec. though.

Have a great day Violets! I wanna try to get these cards done while she is gone!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Kat817 19]

I know, my Dad does the same with his taxes, splits them up--but I am a ditz---what if I forget??? This way it is done--paid--over with for another year!!

You castle trip looks like fun!

Making me feel bad, I should get my cards done too!!!

Got Kinsey's gifts wrapped, she is going to be so surprised at having so many presents to open...and it is going to be a small party. There are only going to be 4 kids besides her. She is little, has no need for a huge to-do!

Manda called this morning and said she was SOOO glad they opted to have the party away from home, they woke up to a Water line break, in the yard, Ryan has been outside digging it up so the plumber can come. She said the mud is horrid, she could only imagine a housefull of people trekking through that to get in. So it is a good plan, to be away.

Each year, the local college here, puts on a Luminaria display. Some people refer to them as farolitos. They are an Hispanic tradition. They are small brown (usually) paper bags, folded into a cuff on top, to help them stay open, then filled about 1/3 of the way up with sand and a small votive candle nestled into the sand. They glow when lit. The local college puts out over 50,000 of them each year. They decorate the campus with them. The local kindergarten, and elementary students come and help as a field trip. Then down the road, a couple of other schools do smaller displays--there is a path to drive through, it is done in total darkness except for the glow given off by the luminarias. It is beautiful. The line moves very slowly, one of the local radio stations broadcasts Christmas music for it, and the student union takes up collections at the end of food, or money or gifts, and donates them to a local charity. They work on the layout for days---getting all set up. They begin lighting candles in the late afternoon, hundreds of volunteers, and they roam the campus, relighting, or removing the occasional one that catches fire...the sand keeps it from burning anything else...but it is a ton of work. Then the next morning residents, churches, anyone who wants them, can come and pick them up, many people and places, replace the burnt candle and use them again, especially on Christmas Eve. They had set everything up, and then last night it rained and snowed all night---ruined them all, over 50,000 of them. So the show is cancelled for tonight. The kids planned to leave the party, have dinner and take the girls through the luminarias. So sad! So much work, all volunteer---it is not the first year it has happened and likely will not be the last. One of the hazzards of winter I suppose.

Betty was nice seeing you post. I have a very low key, steady, not very challenging exercise program....but that is what I am happy with at this point. I will probably amp it up come Spring---maybe the New Year will motivate me---we'll see!!!

Well, I need to get ME ready---clothes, would be great! Might even think about brushing my hair and my teeth-then if I get that far, maybe make up!!! LOL---I am dreading going and dealing with all the exes!!! Kinseys Dad will be there, and so will Manda's---along with one of my former best friends---his new gf!!! FUN!!!

Maybe I will take some extra time, and look my best! Wow gotta get crackin' then, that is gonna take some work!

Kat

[adorable 1]

I wonder when my Violet will receive her gift??? Should be any day now....I love Christmas!

I'm almost finished with my shopping, then I get the great chore of wrapping. Thankfully this year we didn't buy as many gifts because we're trying to pay off bills so that we can buy a new house this time next year.

Wow, what a week this was at work. We've had a lot of people out sick with respiratory illness and it was BUSY!

Well off to clean the garage - making room in one of the spare bedrooms to start decorating the nursery. :girl_hug:

Have a wonderful day Violets!!!

[GR8 1]

Hi Everyone -- I traveled all week and way behind on reading the posts - sorry.

I just wanted to give an update to everyone - I received my Secret Santa package today - It is a absolutely gorgeous sandstone portrait of a German Shephard that can be a stepping stone (they say) but is way to beautiful for that -- I will be hanging in on the wall above the fireplace. Thank you Secret Santa so much - Ms Denise (Adorable). I absolutely love it! (I hope eveyone doesn't mind me saying who!)

I did order my Secret Santa exchange gift this week online and was shipped 11/30 (hopefully they followed through with the gift wrapping) so my special someone - be on the lookout!

Okay -- I need to go back and catch up on reading from 11/25.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Hugs

[TracyK 3]

Terri-the map you gave for Pamela to see our distance made me LOL. Thanks, I needed that!

Have a great evening violets!

[TracyinKS 7]

GOOD EVENING! We just returned home from my sisters where we had our candy making extravaganza........... Since my grandma passed I have become the family fudgemaker and today I made 9 double batches of various fudge and trained two of my neices to be helpers! :confused:

Gina: There is nothing special about my fudge.. it is simply the recipee off the back of the marshmellow fluff jar... except I substitute various kinds of chips.......

quick ingrediants for a double batch:

6cups sugar

3 sticks butter

10oz of Evaporated milk

(melt all in a pan until it soft boils for 4 minutes)

then after it is done boiling .. remove from heat and add

2 tsp vanilla

2 jars of marshmellow fluff (small jars)

3 bags of chocolate chips

1 bag of nuts

Variations include Peanut Butter, butterscotch, white.... (if I make pb or butterscotch I substitue 2 cups of brown sugar)

Also, we made peanut butter balls and about everyting dipped in various flavors of almond bark.........

That said....... I ATE VERY LITTLE TODAY! I did indulge on a bite or two of the warm fudge(s) but not like I would of normally.... and NOT ONE PBBall has passed my lips!

I was 205 this morning and I'm HOPING that I held it today....

Everyone had chili dogs for lunch and ham for dinner and I had tomatoe Soup for both........ I did try a bit of ham and it went down fine.

Cody is settling in fine..... this is a kid weekend so we have all four.... they were a lot better behaved and I'm hoping its due to Cody living with us and not fighting for so much of dad attention since he has it through out the week.

All of our christmas is wrapped and under the tree......

DH and I both had a set amount of money to spend on christmas for ourselves... I bought me a new comforter set and then paid bills! Not really romantic... but I have all that I want.. my rings, a marriage, and an adoption...... my life is complete.

[Ms Jen 1]

......But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got

Most of them back in.'

Now that was funny!!!!