Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[Jennifur 0]

night all

pamela - i didn't take it that way, infact, i only blam myself for being a fat ass... but I love my new head dr and I am slowly getting stronger...

PMS.. yup... that is me... seems that I feel bloated a full week before tom actually arives. I hate that, I'm use to 2 days before.

anyway... i'm going to bed.

[SC-Cindy 0]

Time to introduce myself to a group of friends I've known since April--Hi, ladies!

My name is Cindy and I live near Charleston, SC (hence the screen name) and began following your posts since April because I had my lapband put in one month behind you. You have each inspired me and encouraged me and cried with me, without knowing it, because I've read your posts daily. Thank you for helping me deal with the issues I faced from the surgical pain to the plateaus to the many successes.

And thank you for honestly helping a stranger who finally got up the nerve to post because of your comments today about issues. Pamela, thank you for bringing up this topic, and thanks to each of you for adding your perspective. My fat issue was merely complacency within a good marriage and a hugely busy life as a school teacher. I've been retired for two years now (early retirement) and am an adjunct at the College of Charleston. I LOVE it there! No bathroom duty! No cafeteria duty! No breaking up fights in the hallway duty! No morning bus duty! No endless faculty meetings! Just show up, teach, love my students, and go home. It's a teacher's dream.

Judy, like you I play the flute and sing in my church choir and also are in our handbell choir, plus I participate in two Bible studies weekly and facilitate a 3rd one. Just can't get enough of the WORD!

I wanted to post this link to an article on cnn.com this evening about a lap-bander's success: Surgery helps woman drop 140 pounds, 10 dress sizes - CNN.com

Info overload on my first post--sorry! It's been saved up for seven months.

Cindy

[SC-Cindy 0]

NOTE to SELF:

Proofread B4 sending!

Judy, like you I play the flute and sing in my church choir and also are (let's make that "am") in our handbell choir, plus I participate in two Bible studies weekly and facilitate a 3rd one. Just can't get enough of the WORD!

[Teachlady 3]

Cindy!!! Woooooooooo hooooooooooooooo! Another twin for me. Does that make me a triplet now?? I took early retirement from teaching 3 years ago!!! Welcome to the Shrinkin' Violets. Now we have yet another "unofficial" member!!!!!! Glad to have you posting with us. The more the merrier!!!

I just got done ordering our Nordic Track elliptical. Now we have no excuse not to exercise!!! Daughter Kris has my dad's exercise bike and even though it's not a recumbent, I think I'll have her bring it over so I can get some cycling in during the winter months. This former guest room is gonna soon be just like the gym.. sweaty and busy!!!

Everyone have a restful night. Laura... congrats on your good habit days!!!!! I knew you could do it!! Just remember..

Patience, trust, Purple Power, and WWJD??!!

[Teachlady 3]

Thanks for the CNN article!!! I forwarded it to the Bobster..

[kity 2]

Cindy~ Welcome! Another teacher too...what grade (level) did you teach? I know what you mean teaching college is AMAZING! It is my warm fuzzy place. Even online (actually especially online) I love love love it~! And from SC. My "kin" are from there (sending you a pm). Please feel free to jump in and start posting. This is a wonderful group of women. As you know already! :welcome:

I did not get an unfill today. The doctor had to cancel me and I am supposed to go tomorrow. But I went to my reg doc today because I woke up this morning feeling sick again. That would be 3rd time since Oct (remember, I went almost 2 full years w/o being sick once). So tomorrow, I have to get blood work done and get my sinus' xray'd. At least he is being pro-active.

I am not sure if I am gonna get the unfill after all. I have not had any trouble since Monday at lunch. I was able to eat a Healthy Choice tonight:clap2::clap2:. That meant a lot to me. I may put off the unfill until next week, or wait and see.

I went to dance class Tues and will go Thurs again (I think Susanne is coming tomorrow). Anyway, if I don't need an unfill, I won't get one. Hell, I just wanna be able to eat reg food, w/o everything being ground or soaking wet. I think that is me being stuck in the soft food stage...not good either. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can just stay here. After he hit that nerve last time, I am freaked out at the thought of even getting a poke again.

Good night ladies~

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox

[Kat817 19]

Welcome Cindy---from one unofficial member (not technically an April 07 bandster!) to another! Glad to have you here! Hang out, and let US get to know YOU now!!!

Well my stitches are out, it doesn't look as bad as I feared. He said the residual swelling will likely take months to go down--loverly!!

Wow---deep thoughts today girls!

My story is pretty easy---I blame me! I did not get fat until well into my 20's. I married at 17, he cheated on me regularly. But no one in my family had ever divorced, so I was afraid to stand up for myself, even though I knew divorce was the right direction. Eventually when the 2nd child (besides ours), I did it and divorced him.

I began seeing DH then, and realized how different life could be. But it was not meant to be at that time, and he had college to finish, and my now ex refused to allow me to leave the state (as per NM divorce) with our DD. So Rick and I went our separate ways---at least physically!

Then I met and married the biggest mistake of my life. I did not listen to family nor friends, I accepted the first thing offered, I guess trying to recapture what I lost with Rick--I don't know. Soon after the abuse began, verbal, emotional...escalating to physical and sexual. The pushes and shoves grew to all out beatings, broken bones, and hospitalizations. But he had me where he wanted me, he did not threaten me when I tried to leave, he threatened my elderly grandparents and my crippled brother---he would hurt them---I knew he would, it was not a threat, but a promise. I got myself into the situation, I refused to get one of them hurt or worse, trying to get out of it. Eventually he wanted to move to TX where his family was (San Antonio), so we moved. I saw it as my way out---none of my family there to hurt. I got him to agree to let Manda stay with my parents until we found a place to live. She was with them for 6 weeks. Nothing changed, he was only worse, when in the presence of his abusive step Dad---horrible, horrible family. I began putting on weight about this time, I had zero self confidence, I doubted my own judgement in anything, I knew IF I lived through it, I was going to be twice divorced---the thought killed me! One day walking in KMart there was a big woman in there, and he told me if I ever looked like that he would leave my ass. Suddenly those thoughts come back, and I worked to gain weight! I even went so far as to drink weight gain from GNC!! The big ordeal went down--he tried to kill me, stabbed me 8 times. Eventually I flew home tattered and torn, and he went to prison. And the depression deepened---how did I do this to my life? By now Rick is remarried...and I am horribly alone, and scared to death to even think about another man---I trust no one. BUT food comforted me, and did not lash out, and did not cheat, and was always there when I needed it!

Through the years I moved on and worked through my issues, as well as one can I suppose, but by then habits were set, and I was huge!

Rick was never far from my mind, nor me his he says, we kept tabs through mutual friends. He divorced, and called me, and we have never looked back.

When he left for school, I was maybe 125 pounds. When he walked up to my house all those years later, I was twice that! He was smiling ear to ear, and looking in my eyes---he did not ever say a negative word to me about my weight-ever.

I can now look back, and understand exactly what motivated me to make the mistakes as I made them, but...didn't see it then! The old hindsight thing!

I had such an easy childhood, almost idylic, I never EVER expected a husband to cheat....that was for soap operas! And yet that paled in comparison to what happen next---but my fear was what isolated me to living with the food.

If Rick had not come back into my life---I would likely have remained alone, trust is still not something I give easily. I already knew him, trusted him, and loved him, and his kids.

We married a few years later, we lived together for awhile before that...following a long distance relationship! And I could not ask for anyone to ever treat me any better---I often wonder how I lucked out this time around!

I desperately wanted to lose weight for me---but also for him. He was just as disallusioned with life as I was, and I want to give him as good as he gives me---that means not only healthy---but fun to look at!!

So....that is my session on the couch. Many of you knew my story---for those that didn't....sorry it is a bit of a shocker I know...but the finale of the story is that I WON! I am strong, and able, and confident now----he will never ever have power over me like that again, even if he does get out----I will handle it! I have moved from fear, to anger---and now have a "bring it on sucker!" attitude for him!

The End!

LOL

Kat

[TracyK 3]

Welcome Cindy!! Post away on the best thread this site has to offer (I may be a little prejudiced)

Good morning Violets!

Our credit manager (Scott) at work had a tragedy in June or july and he woke to his wife (in her early 40s) having a massive heart attack. He ended up putting her in a long term care facility. She was in a coma and on life support. Well, Sunday night she passed away. They have a 12 year old son. Please keep them in your prayers during this difficult time. thn the same day one of our retired salesman had his wife pass away also. It has really been depressing to say the least. It also makes me realize ho lucky and blessed I am. I am so thankful!

Everyone have a wonderful day!

[TracyK 3]

Terri....where are you?

[Suziecat 379]

Kat-- Your story reminds me that there is so much power in us that we tend to forget about it. Your power to withstand what you went thru is amazing. I am in awe of your strength. I will keep you in my prayers that time will heal your heart and lessen the memories of that awful past.

Cindy-- :welcomeB:, I was like you and hung around in the shadows till I was outed one day. I am so ever thankful for these girls. They have inspired me beyond belief.

Getting ready to go to Curves and exercise. Don't forget it's CTCDay.

Everyone have a great day. :clap2:

[mdrai 3]

Good Tuesday Morn, Vi's~~

Today is my 6-month band-iversary! This time 6 months ago I was on the table... beginning the journey! Wow!

Weigh-in today = 251.8, so -65.2 in 6 months. I'll take it! Although this month I lost only 1.6 NEW lbs! Grrr. But I have to remember that my fill was screwy and I gained 6 lbs for some unknown reason (hey, if I'm going to gain 6 lbs, then at least let me have a fun binge or something to earn it!!) and had to really fight that back off. Weird month. Here's hoping December is better, weight-loss wise!!

Welcome Cindy! Jump right in!

Love the pic, Suzie! Great to see your smiling face!

Regular day today... errands, work, laundry, housework...

Make it a great one, Vi's!

[mdrai 3]

Ha ha! Tracy, I didn't realize that our tickers were so similar!! Great minds!

[kity 2]

Happy Bandaversary to you...

Happy Bandaversary to you...

Happy Bandaversary dear Michelle

Happy Bandaversary to you!!!!

Congrats on -62!!:Banane20::Banane20:

[TracyinKS 7]

HAPPY CTC Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scale was down to 206 this morning.. YAY!!!!!!!! 1 more til I lose my Turkey Weekend weight.

Welcome Cindy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suzie: I too love Dr. Malley.. he is SOOOOOOO laid back that I often wonder how he takes my big mouth! I ALWAYS ALWAYS ask how much... and you should of seen him when I asked for a pic of my band installation... (I was getting ready to go under and I saw him enter the room so I lifted my head up off the table and yelled accross the OR asking if he could take a pic for me... LOL.......... the other people in the room laughed at my request, but he said.. "Yeah I can do that" and he did. I guess he came out and gave it to DH, He said.. "she asked for this" Charles was like .. SHE DID????? I guess they had a laugh over it.... and then the next morning I was walking the halls at Menorah when I saw him come in for rounds..... I was dragging my IV bag chasing him down asking for my coffee! He said he needed to look at my barium swallow and I announced that it was fine.. He looked at me and said.. "Oh really? HOW DO YOU KNOW?" I told him.. "well I WATCHED IT GO RIGHT THROUGH, I had the tech turn the screen toward me so I could watch it" He laughed outright at that.........

Kat: Your story always touches me...... it is a wonderful reminder of how resilant the human spirit can be. It really makes me proud to call you my friend.

TracyK: WOW that is so depressing..... makes me want to go hug my son!

Pam: I think you did the right thing on your unfill.... wait it out you can always go in later.

Terry: WHERE ARE YOU???????????????????

Haydee: How are you doing?

Jennifur: Hang tough you will make it through this rough patch!

Judy: What can I say.. you are a machine! How in the world does the bobster keep up?

Michelle: Yay on the NSV yesterday.... you all looking hot in your sweats!

Jane: I know you are busy with all the holiday hair appointments!

Denise: Where are you today???????????? Nanatobe

Laura: IT'S CUT THE CRAP DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it!

OK.. gotta get cracking........... I really stink at personals so I hope I didn't miss anyone........

Today NO crap...............

OHHHHHHHHHH the crockpot chicken went down fine, but I didn't eat much because I was getting irritated with all the chewing.. (SPEED EATING ISSUE) so I realy just ate the catchetorie sauce and the better part of a baked potatoe.. but then I at too much and ended up spitting some of it out....

Restriction is back full swing................... ONEderland here I come!

[Jennifur 0]

Morning gals

welcome Cindy!

Tracyks you are doing great, i'm still stuck but at this poing I'm just going to make it through the weekend and Monday start shakes and be super golden. I don't have grocery money til sunday and I am still swollen and bad choices are easier to eat at this point - and serious pms is not helping me make good choices.

anyway. I bought 40lbs of boneless chicken from work and have to go in and seperate it and freeze indiviually freeze it at work before my shift today. I know, I can't really eat chicken but mom eats a lot and my dd loves grilled chicken so because I'm out of control she is too. But the chicken by the case was only $1.48/lb.. that is a great price for boneless/skinless chicken, I usually pay $1.99 at BJ's and think that is a great price.

Tracyk- that is so sad

I got an email from a friend today - I'm not big on sharing but it really sums up what keeps me going on a daily basis

When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but

merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence....."The will of God will never take you

where the Grace of God will not protect you"