Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[TracyinKS 7]

warning story ahead.. feel free to skip.........

Married to HS sweetheart together for 17 years... He cheated and left on New Years eve....... 2 weeks later I meet Sons Bio (he was the bouncer at the bar) BAD BAD BAD time in my life.... but for some reason his sperm was strong enough to get this formerly infertile girl preggers... also he was only #2 on the sex partner list..... He has 4 kids, 4 women, all of us formerly infertile... go figure... HE IS 6'7" and was around 350-400 lbs... big bully... sadly, this strong independant woman that I am was at a low point and became a victim of both physical and mental abuse... ME the woman who helped build TWO homes didn't have the self esteem enough to paint a wall..... pathetic..... I found out who my true friends were during this time... the ones who loved me in spite of the crazy acting Tracy that I had turned into...... It was bad..... anyway a year into it... I turned up preggers.. everything changed.... I had a reason for living again and slowly as the months went on I regained my TRACY... He always told me that as soon as I became pregnant I turned into a major bitch.. I just explained to him that NO.. I was just turning back into Tracy and that he needed to get out... he said he'd NEVER LEAVE and that there was NO ONE who could make him leave....... so, I started planning for a way to get rid of shrek...... but was also torn about the biological factor...... HE IS BAD NEWS...... but he gave me my son and he begged me to let him be the dad he couldn't be to the others so I tried.. I really did... to put it midly it flopped..... big time.. I made his visitation during the week so it wouldn't interfere with his party lifestyle... but he wouldn't leave ME alone.... driving by my house reving up his engine, being in my driveway when I got home from work with empty whiskey bottles and then leaving before the cops got there...a wheel on my car came flying off while driving down the interstate.. neighbors telling me that he would pull down at the end of the block with his lights off and look around my windows..Hell he even tracked me down while on a date and scared the bejesus out of a poor guy that I was meeting for dinner! He had his entire family believing that I didn't want my son.. (he is THE BEST LIAR you will ever meet).... In 2006.. Feb-April, we had even tried court ordered supervised visitation.. twice a week I took my son to a place where he was allowed to spend an hour with him totally supervised..... he HATED it.. said it was BS...(he is even on a first name basis with the judge) UNBELIEVABLE.. (He had tried to get my son to only call me Tracy or say the F word, or momma's a bitch) very immature stuff....... anyway.. he finished the 12 weeks of CASA and showed up to court... he and I got into it and he started crying telling me to f off and that I had won........ at the time I went even MORE off the deep end telling him that it wasn't about he or I WINNING it was about him stepping UP to be a man.. I even made his big ass come back INTO the court room to tell him to sit his ass down and that he needed to go through the proper steps because I knew he did LOVE his son..... He just said he didn't have "it" in him and he left before the judge even got into the courtroom......... and that was a year ago April. I yelled at him that he was making the choice then and there to be IN his life or OUT. (he has another son who is now close to 12... that son has a screwed up head due to shrek constantly being let in and out) and that mother has always left the door open... Cody used to cry hysterically if I wasn't there by 5:15 to pick him up because he would freak out that "dad had forgotten him again" I told Shrek that MY SON WOULD NOT BE LIKE CODY! He WOULD have a better life!............

So now my son is 4 years old, he doesn't ask about him... I do have things that I have saved for his baby book when he gets older... but mainly Robby says.. "remember that one big guy?" I say "yes bubba I do." He says "He gave me that orange motorcycle".. I say "yes.. he did and no you can't play with it til your older." He says, "Mom you know what?" I say, "what?" He says... "I have two dads isn't that cool?" I say "That is WAY cool bubba!" The last time this happened was about a year ago......... We don't talk about him at all............... SO ANYWAY..

What has happened is that he got put in jail for a child support arrest warrant, and the way to bond out of jail is to pay $500 or whatever and a portion of that bond money goes to the child support case that was responsible for the warrant........ while in front of the judge he asked for parenting time, and because of that ORAL request, I am now called to court. He did it on the states dime, and I have to hire a lawyer to fight it........... The ass is so freaking smooth in front of the judge..... what will most likely happen is that he will have to go back through 12 weeks of CASA again.....

Lets see... how Jerry Springer is this? in MO he is on 3 years supervised probation for non payment of child support.

In my county he has 1 case, where warrants get served every 30 days for non payment

In a neighboring county he has 2 cases, same issue.......... and HE NEVER GETS CAUGHT! and when he does he pays his way out of jail and disappears. He lives with a woman who is MARRIED and her husband is in JAIL..... they are constantly getting evicted from where ever they stay....... the last time I saw him in passing he was painting and looked like he had dropped a good 100 lbs...... DF jokingly said... "Hey maybe he got banded?" More like crackwatchers...... and to top it off...

In august I did recieve $200 in child support....... and the older kids have been burning up my cell phone trying to talk to my son........ drama drama white trash drama.... I've been keeping it all at bay until now.... no wonder my band is swollen up so tight I don't even feel thirsty!

I am in momma grizzley mode right now.

[Jennifur 0]

Laura - forget it... cataccori is sauce

Beans? bbq??? try looking for pork and sub with chicken.

LOL I thought I was picky. you win

[Jennifur 0]

Tracy

man - some things are different, but some of my life is almost identical to yours. The court thing is insane, I had a "clerical error" for almost 2 years every time I went. I tried to hire an atty to go after the County for mailing out my name, address and SS # to some random guy for privacy violation but I was told "you can't fight city hall" So now that I'm $2500 in arrears which is almost 2 months... they will do nothing until he is 5-6 months behind. INSANE. - so I feel your pain.

everyone tells me to go back, but I don't know if I have the strength yet to fight that fight again. It will be another 2 year war... Plus in 2 years his other ds he pays support for will be 21 so more for me... I'll deal with it then.

well off to work... not really thrilled about that.

[Daisalana 33]

Tracy- Sounds horrible You'll be in my thoughts that things smooth out, and your son doesn't have to be put through all that drama again!!!

Jennifer- Yeah, I win but I really lose, it's such a pain in the a$$ trying to cook every night (which I love to do), but I get bored with the same things.. and I know DH does too.. but when I try to find new recipes, it's sooo hard to find something. The last 'good recipe' I found was balsamic roasted red potatos.. YUM! I love vinegar btw hehe. There's actually another recipe, I had it at some ungodly expensive restaurant ($50 per entree, and does not include sides.. which are $20 each) in Vegas a couple years ago.. and I figured out how to make it at home.. It's proscutto (sp) wrapped around mozzerella, then fried in EVOO (very little in my case) and balsamic, then served with the balsamic vinegar which cooks down to a syrup.. OMG it's wonderful.. but I can only find proscutto at Sam's Club and that's too far out of the way and I don't go to places like that for just 1 thing.

Now onto BBQ.. I have never been able to make it good at home (even slow cooker..especially slow cooker!), but these little po-dunk BBQ stands out here in Alabama have wonderful pulled chicken BBQ.. there's no sauce, they just smoke it I guess.. I dunno, It's yum yum! But I never thought of that, I could go buy some bulk and keep it in the freezer for nights I want to be lazy.. it can have a whole lot of extra calories since they don't use sauce, right?? (You can get it on the side, some sweet BBQ if you want it, but its so good without)

I don't like baked Beans.. only Beans I like are black-eyed peas..and kidney beans if they're in chili.

[mdrai 3]

Wow girls, all I can offer are hugs, because I have no advice to give, as I have never been anywhere near your situations and can't begin to pretend to know what to do. Wow. But you have my shoulders to lean/cry on, you know that!

Laura... what *do* you eat? That might be an easier list! (I'm nervous to type this next part, because I don't want to sound judgmental or anything, but as a sister violet and someone who cares for you, and as I want everyone here to feel like they can be honest w/me... IMVHO, it seems like you eat a lot of bread/rice/potato/cracker products (fyi, crescent rolls)... my doc says to not eat them at all & to keep total carbs to 50-70/day... I know you know that avoiding that stuff will only help w/the loss... I truly point this out w/only the best of intentions!)

[Daisalana 33]

mdrai- I understand what you're saying, I actually wondered if someone was going to mention that after my recipe post :eek:

I am not a carb counter.. I did that route a while ago, and it leaves a 'bad taste in my mouth' to think I paid all this money to do that all over again..

I count calories & Protein. And I make a serious effort to have 'better' carbs.. I.e. I don't eat normal potatos at all anymore, only red potatos (which are better for you and lower calorie). I don't eat white sandwhich bread anymore (so sad), but whole wheat (which is nasty.. and thus keeps me from eating many sandwhiches anymore)..

And rice.. I don't normally eat, we had it last night cause I didn't feel like making anything else! First time since banding that I actually made rice

Now, crescent rolls, I don't limit myself.. not that I eat them everyday, but if it's in a recipe, I don't fret. I just count the calories. Those chicken things (with the rolls) total 300 calories per thing.. I had 1 of those, and 3 bites of rice, which probably put my total around 350 calories at most. That's a good dinner for me!

So the short version of this, I don't cross off food because of carbs. Not only do I resent the whole Atkins thing, my doctor didn't instruct me to do low-carb.

THAT BEING SAID.. I know, from experience, if I cut out all carbs I'd be losing weight quicker. But.. I'd be setting myself up for failure in the long run, because I like red potatos.. I like sandwhiches, and I like crescent rolls! If I started gaining weight again, I'd re-evaluate because I'd feel like the band is no good at helping me eat smaller portions and I need to diet again.

I wanted the band to eat less.. not do Atkins.

Hopefully I explained that well enough!

Things I do eat.. beef, beef, beef.. any and all. I'm really a meat & potatos girl! So now I'm meat and red potatos girl! :mad:

I love roast beef, with lots of onions (slow cooker style).

I like veggie skewers.. can't find a good recipe for that either.. anyone got one? Squash, zuccini, onion and mushrooms.. but I've yet to find a good seasoning on it..

I like shrimp, but can't cook it at home

Love casseroles! Don't think I've met one yet that I didn't like.

I can take or leave fruit.. I have to be in the 'mood' to eat fruits.

A typical day lately for me is: Milk or coffee for Breakfast, go out to lunch to TGIF or Longhorn with DH.. I get their smallest steak or grilled shrimp skewer, with a dry salad with oil & vinegar as my side instead of mashed potatos/fries. I only am able to eat 1 or 2 bites of the steak, and take it all home. I eat most the leftovers throughout the day (up until about 4pm)(this is the worst thing I do, I think.. but I get so hungry at night!!)

I cook dinner around 7pm so we eat by 8 or 9. Like last night, I made the chicken things and rice. Make meatballs sometimes, with red potatos and green Beans, etc.

And finally my snack, is a 100 calorie pack late at night (10-11pm) which I don't do every night, and when I'm havin bad OOMTOM, I'll have 2! :/

[Daisalana 33]

Oh! One more note on the carbs, I keep hearing they're harder to eat at good restriction. If that becomes the case, I would have no problem with that.

So far, only thing I can NOT stomach anymore is hamburger patties (with or without bun), but I have tried it with a bun once.. that was one miserable bite, so I don't even like Buns anymore either.

[TracyinKS 7]

Well the upside to all this is that I've had

coffee w/sf Creamer

3 bites of cottage cheese

1 sbd Protein bar (that took most of the day to eat)

7 all bran garlic crackers (damn crackers go down too easily)

1 pudding cup

around 60 oz's of Water................. so actually besides upping my protien It looks like a pretty good food day to me..........

as for SHREK........... He makes me so angry...... the kind of angry that you just want to punch him in the head (never have I felt such a deep dislike for someone) If I really looked deep into myself it would be partly because I allowed myself to be in a bad situation with him for two years... and that he is SUCH a good liar... .... my guess is that he is doing all of this out of spite, (for going to jail) and that is what makes me the MOST angry.. what happens when the novelty wears off and he disappears for another year or two...... YUP, Tracy as a momma grizzley isn't a very pretty site......

Time to get out of here............ Df is making spaghetti tonight so that means I will try to eat some meat sauce for dinner.

[TracyinKS 7]

Laura: I love carbs..... but I know that I can't eat them and now that I'm at full restriction... there is no friggen way I can even take a bite of rice, bread, or anything Doughy... but as you read from my earlier post I can still do crackers.......... thin crackers not crackers that turn doughy... (think chicken in a biscutt type) NOOOOOOOOOway.. but the really thin wheat crips seem be fine........ also... I can no longer do melted cheese......... (think white cheese some mexican restraunts use) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOway... but I can do a pc of cheddar sliced off a block.......... oh and I can't do cheese and crackers together....... NOOOOOway.

Weird...... I know........... oh... and I can not stomach shredded chicken.. blech! :eek: and dark meat chicken all the way.. white is way too dry!

Oh and grilled burgers go down best if I've mixed in some dry ranch mix.. makes them juicy.......... and reheated meat of anykind NOOOOOOOway

OK... going now.

[Daisalana 33]

Tracy- That's cause God blessed you with a doctor who will FILL YOU UP!!!!!!! lol

I get more and more frustrated with my doctor, reading how all you violets are finding your good restriction and here I am, less restricted than the month before, which was barely even restricted compared to bandster hell. BAH!

Chickin in a biskit is a nice snack for me, they actually fill me up well. I eat about 4 of those at once. But again, if I got to the point I couldn't eat them due to restriction--I'm OK with that!!!

Terri-Thanks for the link, that's one of the websites I browse frequently, but they are the ones that push really fancy dishes, mexican dishes, and FISH OUT THE WAZOO! (I looked up their low-calorie dishes). That might be where I got the crescent roll recipe I shared earlier.

[TracyK 3]

TracyKS-Shrek must have a brother cause I used to be married to him!! I am so sorry for what you are going through! The momma "lion" would come out in all of us. What a bastard. I hope everything goes well!

Hi all violets!! I do not really have much to say...hmm...thats different!

Everyone have a great evening!!

[TracyinKS 7]

LOL! I found something that helps when I'm stuck.. thought you'd might find it handy..

Take a hot shower... for some reason it has helped thing pass through...

WEIRD!

OK... gotta go.. biggest loser reunion is on tonight

[Kat817 19]

Man Laura I have no idea where to begin with recipes for you!!! I would resort to the old meat & taters I am afraid!!!

I do a crescent roll chicken thing as well, but mine has different ingredients, and I of course tend to change it up depending on what I have on hand!!!

It begins with a sauce (I know, I know!!!) of butter, chicken stock, thickener--flour or cornstarch--some half & half---but now I use skim milk!!! Then add a brick of cream cheese. To it add chicken---any kind any way---cubed, shredded, light, dark, it makes no difference! I add some celery, onion, sometimes some carrots for color, or diced roasted red peppers. Divide and spoon onto the 4 squares of dough. Just before baking them, crumble a slice of bacon over the mixture on each square. My kids loved them---but lucky for me---my kids were, and continue to be more adventurous eaters than I am!!! They eat a much more varied diet than I do!!! My son went to the garden the other day at Grandma's picked some mustard greens, and took them home and cooked them for himself!!! I do not care for greens, and only very occasionally would even remember to cook them for the kids, and they all like them!!! Same with okra---yech! They all love it! Even pickled!

I will think about it, and look through my recipes---and if something seems even slightly likely, I will pass it on. My DIL is trying to learn new recipes as well, she is pouring over magazines all the time!

Tracy---are the other mothers involved with this man at all? Any chance of using them and facing off with him as a unit? With one or all? I know that is horrid to go through---big giant hugs go out to both you and Terry!!!

Terry---I was sitting in Applebees with one of the couples we went riding with for the rally, and I had on my Bracelet. This woman across from us, who happened to be quite heavy, although not my original size---told me she just loved my bracelet! She went on to say (get this Judy) that she was a ministers wife, and usually always had one of many she owned on...just not that day! I told her a friend had made this one for me, and while we all appreciate the What Would Jesus Do? This one actually was a play and stood for What Would Judy Do---trying to keep me in line with my diet, and I mentioned to her that our Judy was also a ministers wife. She got quite a laugh out of it, and told me that was really funny, but that if she only had as much to lose as I did she wouldn't worry too much about dieting! I was so happy I wanted to kiss this strange woman!!! I told her I had lost over a hundred pounds, and some of it without a doubt to our own WWJD. She was shocked, and ask how I did it, so I told her I had a lap band, and both the friend who made it, and the Judy it referred to were women I had never face to face met, but were my on line band buddies. She got huge tears in her eyes, and said she kept seeing the lion and kitty commercial on TV, but had not known anyone to have had it done! She ask if she could call me, I gave her my #'s, my email, you name it!!! It was so great!!! My friend Joyce, who I have known since 5th grade, told me after that talk she wanted the band---she weighs maybe 135 pounds!!!

Your bracelet may have inspired someone---if it did nothing else, it gave her hope...way to go my friend!!!

I am off to finish dinner. I fried chicken strips---I know they are not the best, but they are soooo good!!! I have a artery nightmare for dinner!!! Will do better tomorrow!

Kat

[Daisalana 33]

Kat- that sounds a little like another recipe I like (But have not made in a while, cause even when not dieting it seemed horribly sinful!) Nuke chicken, shred it up mix in a whole bag (12oz) of shredded cheddar, and a whole box of cream cheese (what are they, 16oz?).. nuke a little longer till you can mix it all up.. this part I call 'chicken goop'.. then put that in crescents, roll them up, cook them.. then make a sauce to go over it, of cream of chicken Soup mixed with milk and sour cream.. It's pretty good, but its SOOOO rich, and I can only imagine the calorie count!!!

On the chicken I make now, I always use skim milk, and if it calls for cream of some kind, I do half skim, half cream.

[kity 2]

Heya Violets~

Tracy~Kick ass and take no prisoners girl. We are here for you!

Laura~ you too funny. I think I am starving after reading todays posts. I havent felt this hungry in a while, and I think I am salavating.

Today I've been good:

Almost finished my 3rd bottle of Water

Had Pammys Protein shake for breakfast

Had 1/2 cup of chick sal (mixed in blender, consistency of tuna; Fat Free Italian Dressing (keeps it really wet and has good flavor) and 1tbs of mayo.