Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[Jennifur 0]

Thanks TracyK

Terry - first, dbf is / was Navy until his motorcycle accident last october. So even though he has not gone, he was chief and we went through lots of emotions of him sending his men/young kids.

Nope, not pms... so must have to do with weight loss or something. DBf has been around, but he was doing so well and we were working hard on things, now it is going to be dr appst and running, and he gets depressed being out of work - or did last time. I could be totally jumping to conclusions, but I don't think so. It has been so hard in general because of everything, but since the accident, he suffers from short term memory loss and it is a horrible thing. I sometimes wish he was not so sweet because it would make it easier for me to be strong for me, but unfortunately, I love him and he is, and because I'm so "understanding" I know he needs to work with his dr's now and get better. I mean he was plowed over by a car while on his bike and in a coma for a week, how can I be selfish and only think about me?

I agree with you about this site too, you guys - I consider my friends even family. This is a place we can share banding issues, personal issues, family issues. I have more from you guys than people in my home life most of the time. I hope others read too, this is the best think I do some days, today being one of them

Kat- I am praying for your baby, I'm sure they are taking good care of her, please let us know

[Jennifur 0]

Terry

now that I've stopped crying enough to see, that is a great poem, I am making it my background

[lunasa 1]

Terry, I love that Hole in the street analogy!!

Kat...I am Keeping you & Kinsey in my thoughts..Please God she will be better very soon..xx

Judy and Tracy K...you both look fantastic in your photos!!

TracyInks..I know where you're coming from with the eating and struggling..BIG TIME.. just remember what's happening to me right now...don't let it happen to you!! Don't push the band..

I am still up the wall over it, although everyone has assured me it's just swelling I am still only able for liquids.. Last night I had some mash (I mean 1-2 tablespoons) and this morning I had a Teaspoonful of Manuka honey and there's that golfball again..So liquids still it is for me until this swelling (I Hope) settles... Tracy don't get into the state of mindlessness I did that has caused this to happen..The anxiety is truly not worth it..and if I HAVE damaged something I don't know how I'll cope!! So Please Girl, Bee good to D band!!

Jennifur..I lost a very Good friend to cancer 8 years ago and I always get emotional around the time of his anniversary. It's strange, even if I'm not AWARE the date is approaching, it seems to come over me automatically..xx

Well, I went to my GP and asked him to take my bloods, as I have done 3 times already in the last year. He did, and as we talked about all my symptoms again, low energy, low mood, lack of motivation etc he asks me what it is I am expecting to find in my blood AGAIN.. I say there's something not right, I am beside myself trying to cope..and he brings up depression again.

We have had 3 or 4 chats over the last year about this and each time I have resisted the medication saying I "If I could just put my finger on it I can work this out myself, without the need to mask with meds" But MAYBE there IS something in my blood that's causing me to feel the way I do.

So anyway after a long chat he explained he suspects and had suspected each time I visited him that it is a chemical imbalance I have that has me stuck in a depressive state..which somehow registered better with me than just telling me or suggesting me I was DEPRESSED..

I dunno if this makes sense but I always denied depression meds and the idea that I need them because I really only viewed depression as kinda like a mood thing..A state of being, a rut, like "If you could get off your ass and deal with it you could snap out of it" kinda thing

We have sent the bloods off anyway just to be sure ,he said I was pale maybe due to the perpetual lethargy I feel, but just to be sure..for the third time since July 06!!

So I have accepted that my symptoms are all pointing very obviously to a definate sign of depression, and that it is chemical and that trying to be my own hero has not done much to ease them to the point of freedom & recovery thus far..So, despite feeling defeated initially I have decided to start on a course of medication and am now feeling hopeful that I may just find a new sense of purpose and energy. I am looking forward to having the burden of mood lifting and actually thought to myself this morning..what if this changes my life?

I am grateful to him for his patience and his caring enough to let me come to this point of acceptance myself and his not having rammed the concept down my throat during the last year of my pale-faced visits..visiting him with the same complaint and ahving him prod me endlessly only for him to repeatedly inform me I am a healthy individual..It all makes sense now..

It's amazing what a depressive mind can make you want and rob you of priorities..Imagine, I have been LOOKING for there to be SOMETHING WRONG in my blood to justify my feelings!! Imagine, looking for signs of ill-health and then not being satisfied when I possess the opposite!!

So here's to my chemical romance!!!

P.S...Rx is for Cymbalta

[kity 2]

Happy 4th Violets~ I actually miss you all. I am doing some speed reading each morning, but it is not the same. So much to comment on.

Kat~Know that you have many little purple angels for your granddaughter. Please post when you can.

TracyK~OMG...girl, you look amazing. You should be very proud of your success so far. Whoo Hoo!!!

TracyKC~I feel the same way...still haven't lost shit:faint:. But it is not a race. I go for second fill on the 18th, and am hoping that will help. I haven't worked out since last week, so I feel fat too!

Laura~Words cannot express how happy we are for you. Enjoy this special time in your life!

Terry and Judy~ Sounds like your doing well. Keep up the good work. Happy to report I've been doing well w/ the drinking and eating. I've had a few cocktails this week (which is out of the ordinary for me)...too many calories!!! But I am trying to be good. What I felt yesterday was interesting. I did not drink w/ Breakfast (omlett w/ veggies and salsa). As soon as I took a sip, about an hour 1/2 later, I felt hungry. Is that possible, or did I just think I was hungry. I was thinking, I've "washed the food through w/ the sip." I am probably crazy!!!

Have a Happy 4th ladies...Be careful and be safe!

[TerriDoodle 6]

So I have accepted that my symptoms are all pointing very obviously to a definate sign of depression, and that it is chemical and that trying to be my own hero has not done much to ease them to the point of freedom & recovery thus far..So, despite feeling defeated initially I have decided to start on a course of medication and am now feeling hopeful that I may just find a new sense of purpose and energy. I am looking forward to having the burden of mood lifting and actually thought to myself this morning..what if this changes my life?

YESSSSS!!!!!!! It WILL change your life!! And aren't you glad about that!!? Lunasa, there IS something wrong....but it's the kind of thing that doesn't show up in your blood! If he found anemia, wouldn't you take Iron or whatever else he prescribed? This is no different. It's not a matter of character, girl! It's simply an imbalance.....and you will feel SOOOOOO much better!! I can't wait to watch you bloom! You made my day!

[Jennifur 0]

YESSSSS!!!!!!! It WILL change your life!! And aren't you glad about that!!? Lunasa, there IS something wrong....but it's the kind of thing that doesn't show up in your blood! If he found anemia, wouldn't you take Iron or whatever else he prescribed? This is no different. It's not a matter of character, girl! It's simply an imbalance.....and you will feel SOOOOOO much better!! I can't wait to watch you bloom! You made my day!

i agree,

have you thought about taking vit B 6 & 12, they are natural mood boosters, and i know bypass patients here are required to take them because they do not get enough. Just a thought...

I also know st. johns wort is a natural mood booster too

[lunasa 1]

Thank You Terri...xxx You're so kind

Jennifur..I take a multi Vitamin / mineral & B complex everyday..Thanks x

Would you believe St John Wort was recently taken off the market here..can't remember the science bit!!

PLEASE GOLFBALL GO AWAY NOW and all will be well, I will be a good girl!! :sick

[Jennifur 0]

I am on liquids today and can technically start mushies tonight, but i am having a hard time with liquids, the only good thing, not Clear Liquids like after surgery so i'm having a watered down Protein Shake right now.

Just moved 4 barrows of dirt, man that is hard on the back. The huge pile will be gone by the end of the day

Lunessa, vits help, plus you know we are all here for you

[Jennifur 0]

Lunasa - sorry I killed the spelling I was slightly insane the last 24 hrs

still having a bad day, normally I drink on the 4th, and I am trying so very hard not to, so I redirected my energy, I moved dirt and purned my very overgrown tree out front.... now it is raining... what to do to keep my mind pre occupied

[TracyK 3]

Thanks Lunasa & Pam!!

Terri-what a beautiful poem...I love it and it is SO true...been there and done that!

Went to get me some pants that fit, could not find any. I ended up getting Macy (my 4 year old daughter) 2 outfits and some sandals. When I left the store I thought "there is something wrong with ths picture" LOL Thats a mom for ya...

[Teachlady 3]

Good evening all you lovely Shrink'n Violets. I hope everyone is having a great 4th! I rode in a Lincoln Continental Town Car during the parade today (wooooooo hooooooo) and then we went out to lunch. Had a couple bites of this and a couple bites of that at a buffet. Came home and then went to Walmart to get some things. We planted the last of our new plants for this year.. 3 hibiscus and 1 lamb's ear.

We just finished dinner.. a few bites of meat loaf, 1/2 cup of green Beans, some cottage cheese and blueberries and cantalope for dessert.

We're headed out on our bikes in a half hour and then home for the rest of the evening. We don't like fighting the crowds to see the fireworks. We did enough of that when we had kids at home!!

Everyone enjoy your evening and remember... tomorrow is a new day!!

[Jennifur 0]

Hello everyone... raining here all day in NY ... oh well. obviously I'm not having a great day anyway. the saga just continues with the x friend who has my daughters sparklers and stuff I bought on vacation, but I refuse to go get them and get yelled at... so I told my daughter if she wanted to use then and not return them that I would get her some later.

But on a happy note, I found my camera, I am going to adjust the size and try to do this tonight or tomorrow - i've been moving dirt and look very yucky

on a very happy note - I went to clean my room and I decided I wanted to see how the levi's were coming along, since in April I was thrilled I got them over my hips but could not even think about zipping them up.

Well guess what I'm wearing right now... yup you guessed it... the motivation I needed... I don't quite know how but I am. My belly still is very puffy looking but they are not too tight, I would wear them out.

Back to the gym I go... LOL

So as far as liquids, I had a Protein Shake for breakfast, a cup of broth for lunch and a Protein shake for dinner. with all the liquids... still no major bathroom visits. I don't know what to do... I'm going to eat some black bean Soup just because I need to go... I actually gained 3lbs on liquids... so I think if i can go to the bathroom all will be good. LOL

anyway, just needed to check in while i was down here

[TracyK 3]

on a very happy note - I went to clean my room and I decided I wanted to see how the levi's were coming along, since in April I was thrilled I got them over my hips but could not even think about zipping them up.

Well guess what I'm wearing right now... yup you guessed it... the motivation I needed... I don't quite know how but I am. My belly still is very puffy looking but they are not too tight, I would wear them out.

YAY JEN:clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:you go girlllllll

[Teachlady 3]

Wooooooo hooooooooooo!! Great job on the jeans, Jennifur!!! I have so many clothes to put in my garage sale, I'll need the money to buy a new wardrobe. Ain't it a great feeling????

Just got back from a 9 mile, one hour bike ride with DH. I'm pooped, but I just love being outside and doing something good for myself and being able to do it with DH. The pool temp is only 78 so I'm opting not to go in tonight. Kinda wish the hot tub wasn't drained for the summer. It's going to really cool off tonight.

I have grandson Ethan all day tomorrow. so I'll be checking in here when he's napping.

Kat... prayers are still being raised for you and your granddaughter. Hope she's getting better and you'll be able to update us soon.

[Jennifur 0]

Judy - yes it is a great feeling

now for them to look great! LOL

wow - you amaze me with the exercise. My neighbor keeps his hot tub all year, we went in Friday Night, he called because he knows I'm up at midnight and we just laughed for hours, I don't know why all my best friends are men... but no issues like with girls... anyway. off to watch a movie "because I said so" ... so I'm sure I'll be balling my eyes out again