Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[mdrai 3]

I wish I could be more succinct like Terry!

[kity 2]

Morning Violets~

Lunasa~ As I read your post, my first thought was this girl needs a fill. And as I continued, I thought about how my psychologist has been invaluable in my journey of getting to know myself, and how to deal w/ "why I got to be this big in the first place". So I second what the violets who have posted before me say. You've always been such a great cheerleader for all of us...now please accept our help and love.

What about exercise? Not just for weight loss, but when I exercise I am elevated out of the Ho Hums for the day. Not just "taking a walk", but getting a good sweat in each day. It will help in your outlook so much!

Hang tough sweetie...your not alone. Please keep coming back to LBT and this thread. You'll read some of us are doing amazing, but most of us are struggling. The thing of it is, we are struggling together!!!

Oh yeah, call your doctor, your doctor, you need a fill!

xoxoxoxoxo

[mdrai 3]

Trust me, I sweat when I walk!

[TerriDoodle 6]

Trust me, I sweat when I walk!

That's all that matters!!

OMG, I'm sooooooo sore today!! I punished myself yesterday at the gym and today I feel like I did that first week. My quads hurt so bad I'm afraid to get out of this chair! But I must. Just not now........ LOL When i drop something on the floor, I just leave it. And WHY do they make toilets so low to the ground??!! :eek: I may even take a shot of my pain meds today. Oy!!!

[Jennifur 0]

Good morning

Lunessa - they gals said it all so well, I am back up to 230 this am an have been struggling and was refused a fill and can't go back until 7/17 and even then I'm going to have to beg. I exercise and eat healthy for the most part - ok pms so this was a bad week- and frustrated is an understatement, and I can't ind a job to save my life.

so you are not alone, stay strong and check in. We are all here for you and are all having our own personal battles. I love checking in here, it keeps me going, lets me know I am not alone. So say hello every day so we know you are here with us, HUGS

[TracyinKS 7]

GOOOOD MORNING VIOLETS!

Lunasa: HUGS! and like others have said........ RUN don't walk to your doctor and demand a fill! You have NOT wasted your money, you have not wasted you time! Several of us are on the slow road to slimmer.. I'm right there with you! I too worry that you are on the brink of depression. At times I feel the same.. look at my first face pic.. I was so depressed after facing the scale........... that was is a defeated woman totally wallowing in self hate ......... but then look at my May 11 pic... That is a woman full of hope and a sense of self a woman with the twinkle of sucess in her eyes........ Since that photo I have went up and down 10 lbs and I know that after this weekend I will most likely show up at my docs office weighing the same or more than I did the month prior....... Yesterday I was beating myself up for eating that bagel and eating that icecream.. and then my sister pointed out to me..........

"Tracy are you kidding me???.......... IS THAT ALL YOU ATE???? That is NOTHING!" and I guess she was right.. I was so depressed about eating all that carby crap that I had lost focus of the minimal amount of actual food put into my mouth.......

In the mood I was in yesterday eating that stuff would of sent me into a "oh well what the hell" binge prior to the band.. now even with minimal restriction It is no longer physically possible. Yes, I can still eat a plate of food, but not 4... I can not wait til I can only eat 1 cup of food and be full......... that my friend is when we WILL start losing.........

I think everyone who posts on our little thread has bits of invaluable advice and wide experiences that benefit us each in different ways.

If I could reach accross the pond and give you a big hug and a boot in the butt I would... I would say "Shake it off Sister you are NOT alone!" Know that we are here struggling right along with you.

In other news: I did get up and go to the gym this morning but it was only for a mere 30 minutes as DBF had to leave the house early. This my friends is a major NSV, because normally this would of been a WONDERFUL excuse not to go at all! Instead I set the alarm for 4:00 a.m. and was waiting for the club to open at 4:30 a.m. I left by 5:05 a.m. came home and did some laundry and packed my bag for my GIRLS weekend!

[Daisalana 33]

Just wanted to throw in there, seems like a lot of us (Except Judy, she's just whizzing past us) have been yo-yoing this month. I think it's just that part of the cycle, we're waiting for good restriction... and from the anxiety of 'waiting for this to work' we get overwhelmed and discouraged that we're not 'there yet'. If it makes you feel better to vent, do so.. but don't lose hope! We're all in this boat together.. don't rock the boat!

[Teachlady 3]

Good morning, everyone.

I guess I better put my 2 cents in today. I know you all say I'm the mascot, but what it boils down to is this. #1. I'm anal and I LOVE journaling and writing down what I eat and how I feel and what exercise I do. #2. I'm retired and have no job concerns and really no financial concerns, thank God. #3. My kids are grown and on their own and no major concerns there.

So what it boils down to is I can focus on this band and my weight loss 100% with no outside stresses. I'm betting none of you can say that. You are dealing with a whole lot more in your lives than I am. Considering that, you are all doing a fantastic job. ANY weight loss is better than a gain. And if you are having difficulties you can turn to your doctor, your therapist or this board. You have choices. You are not alone. And you WILL lose the weight. When you get to that point where your fill is adjusted properly, the weight will come off. I have one fill, don't feel any restriction, but I'm so committed to this because I know it's my last shot. If this doesn't work, there is nothing else for me so I am doing it 100% and slowly, but surely it's working. I know at some point there will be a plateau and I'm ready for that. I can see how far I have come and that itself is a victory which is the same for all of you. Look how far you have come since getting banded. Would you be in the same place, at the same weight if you did not have that tool??

Depression is an awful thing. I went though it myself and so has DH. My mom was severly affected with it after my brother died at 50 twelve years ago. You HAVE to get help. You cannot conquer depression alone. It takes therapy and medication. Been there, done that.

I guess that's more than 2 cents worth, but I hope you all understand where I'm coming from.

[Kat817 19]

Well heck y'all didn't think I wouldn't have to add my .02 did ya????

Lunasa, several studies have been done, and I wish I had the paperwork to cite for you, but I will give you the run down on what I remember.....these studies showed that when the body begins losing the sudden weight with the liquid phase, all the hormones that have been stored in the fat, are suddenly released into the body. The biggest one to cause issue is estrogen. It gives people headaches, causes weight gain (think PMS), and mood changes, including depression. If you go back to other monthly threads, and find them at the 2-4 month stages, you will find that they too slowed or even stalled at the weight loss, and are having similar issues as you and several others in the thread. Eventually the weight loss does slow down, and therefore allows the body to adjust to the increase of estrogen and other hormones in the body. Hormones work like a see-saw. If one goes up, others go down to compensate, or rise even higher, trying to keep things in balance. One of the hormones affected by the estrogen is called Gruehlin (I forget the spelling exactly), it is the hormone that alerts us to hunger. It is so closely tied together with the other hormone, that it is an expected and accepted thing that women's weight will change when they either go through menopause or have a hysterectomy, or even go on the pill. In the info packet in birth control pills, and many other forms of hormone based birth control, weight gain is listed as a side effect!

When you get to the proper level of restriction, which can take multiple fills (and I am told this is optimal meaning you are losing visceral fat inside, where it is dangerous), you will begin losing on a steady pace, slow enough to allow your body to adjust to the changes, and yet fast enough to give your hope back.

If you go to the Dr, and nothing shows in your blood, and you still have problems losing, and you are eating in a healthy manner---ask for a referral to an endocrinlogist, and let them look into it further. I personally believe, once you get past the flood of hormones in your body, you will be much better.

In my case, I was older....I had also had a hysterectomy, so thought I was free----not so!!! I still had some of the issues, but had no female organs frantically producing hormones trying to help. Think of it in the same way our bodies try to help pass a stuck bite with sliming----it truly hinders as opposed to helping, but the body does it anyway. Same with the hormones, it tries to help get you in sync again, and many times only makes matters worse.

Venting, and feeling free to say what you did, is great. My tendency was always to bottle it up, which did no good at all, for me or for anyone else. Who knows maybe there are several out there feeling the same way you are, and your voicing it will help you all. Hang in there girl, it will be worth it. YOU are worth it whatever it takes. And we will be right there with you helping when and however we can.

OK, back to cooking and decorating for me. I sat down here with my sandwich, and got my LBT fix while I had lunch!

Parties begin tomorrow, and now the weather says it may rain tomorrow night....makes me wanna cry! But I have been a cry baby lately anyway. Yesterday the lawnmower would not restart for me, and I got so frustrated I was in tears, today I was sewing a dress (the buttons over my boobs ALWAYS gap open) and I stitched the back to it in a place, and could not locate a seam ripper, and was reduced to tears. I think I must be hanging around my 2 year old granddaughter too much!!!!

Talk to y'all soon!!!

Kat

[lunasa 1]

(((((Hi Girls)))))

Thank you all so much. It brings me close to tears to read what I wrote earlier and subject you all with such a nasty rant but I had to. I was bursting. I woke up this morning very anxious and by some miracle didn't take it out on DH..I actually lay in bed composing a rant in my head for LBT...somewhere to vent it out.

Your repiles are so kind and true and I thank you.. I am worried too that I am depressed..I KNOW I was before discovering that I was eligable for the band and then getting myself booked in, organised and on my way for it and the 3 liquid weeks post surgery lifted me out of it. Maybe I jumped the gun thinking "it" (the monster) was behind me. I guess I had an "up" period.

Strange thing is I'm not like a depressed person at times, like when s**t hits the fan I'm great at jumping to action, I'm great at listening to and motivating others, during these times I am not consumed with my self.

But then I look in the mirror and I see a stranger looking back, I see a lost expression on a face that just looks so tired and sad and then I just feel so sad! It's like a pain in the heart and I look and I think "that's not me, where am I?"

I have playful times with DH at home or wherever and I might get up to go to the loo and there's that mirror again and I look again and I see this ghost again! It's frightening me, because I feel I'm buried in there! I don't recognise this person looking back and sometimes I even experience surreal moments where I question the reality of the moment.

I guess I should see my GP, I have spoken to him about this and he wrote me a Rx for Anti-d's but I said I would only fill them if I felt I had no choice and so I set out again trying to fix what was not right, without the need for masking it with drugs.

It's not that I have no faith in meds, I have taken anti-d's on 2 occassions before but quit after 3 months each time...dunno why?

Stigma I guess, and within myself, not coz anyone else knew.

Then I go to counselling and come across as a balanced reasonable person and it's quite confusing sitting there chatting without a care inthe world to a doc who charges a fortune to have what just seems like an expensive chat! LOL

KITY, you have a point about the excercising being able to help and start shaking off the blues..and funny as I read it I thought if someone I know in RL had have suggested same (as they do) I would want to punch, but not you because you are in my boat and I noticed the pep in your cyber step when you took to the sweat-arena..as most of you did..you all reported and vibe'd more cyber energy.

I have noticed the theraputic value of walking and will do so and as I get used to strolling to ease & comfort my mind I will also eventually gear up to working a sweat. Right now I don't want to be gung ho with that because it raises too many issues with me. Pounding the pavement just re-inforces my hatred and resentment in the continuing WL battle...

So thank you all for your support and advice and for consoling and lifting me...I think withdrawing from LBT also had a part in my getting so overwhelmed as I had alienated myself from here too (you'd swear I was away for a year! felt like it!)

But logging back in and seeing that what I'm going through is not unique does help..I had imagined I would sign in and everyone would be trailblazing away and I'd be the one left behind of my own doing and I would get so disheartened and lonely in my efforts (or lack of!)

I'm sorry to bring anyone down, but I am relieved with your response..thank you.

I came across something very interesting about happiness. or unhappiness and I saved it in my puter files. I'm gonna go now and retrieve it and post it below...It's something to consider..for us all..xxx

MUCH LOVE...GRA MOR..xx(that's much Love in Irish)

:girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug::girl_hug:

[lunasa 1]

Unhappiness & Depression

by

Bruce Di Marsico, 1973

The Cause of Unhappiness

The cause of unhappiness is a belief. What happens, no matter how undesirable or destructive to our life, health, desires or loves, does not cause unhappiness. The belief that we have to be unhappy is the only cause. To state it simply:

"If a person did not believe they had to be unhappy, they would not and could not be."

We merely believe we need to have things or avoid things in order to avoid unhappiness, which we would not have to fear if we did not believe we needed to be unhappy.

What Causes Unhappiness

The Understandings of All Unhappiness

Unhappiness is believing that something is necessary, something has to be, should be, ought to be, or must be other than what it is.

When a person is believing he/she has to be unhappy, what they are believing is that they have to be unhappy because they believe they are against themselves. The belief in unhappiness is the belief in being wrong for oneself. Unhappiness, in fact, means that I believe that I do, or want, or think, or feel a way that is bad for me.

A person believes: Certain things I do not want to happen may happen or are now happening. I don't want them to. I feel bad (and am worried or afraid now) because I "shouldn't" be thinking negatively about my life now. Maybe I shouldn't be not wanting what is evidently happening anyway. I am (as-if) denying reality, and that is wrong. I will be unhappy about this in the future because when certain things I do not want or do not like happen I will feel a way that is bad for me. It is wrong to expect misfortune. That is "unhappy" of me.

It doesn't matter that if the undesirable event happens to me from circumstances out of my control, or if I think I am the cause or part of the cause; unhappiness comes as me believing that I now have proof that I am bad for myself.

"Bad for myself means I am not really wanting for me what I "should" be wanting for me, and something can prove it. The belief is that this event "proves" it.

Basically, feeling bad means that I believe that what I do, or think, or want, or feel means I am against my own best interests. I believe these are a bad way of doing thinking, wanting or feeling. The way I am being is a bad (wrong, self-defeating) way of being.

This could be called the same as believing that I will be a way I shouldn't be, or think a way I shouldn't or want or feel a way I shouldn't. If we didn't believe that we could be a way we "shouldn't" we couldn't feel unhappy no matter what else we felt.

All unhappiness is the fear that we have a bad attitude for ourselves. We are afraid that something proves we are bad for ourselves in the sense that we are in some way against what we are for, and for what we are against. We are afraid that we have a self-defeating attitude.

The fear that we have a bad, or self-defeating, attitude is the same as distrusting the very source or cause of our motivation. We are unhappy when we believe our very life, our heart, our self is against all that we live for; our personal happiness.

Happiness is the freedom to be as we are, however we are; richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, gaining or losing, succeeding or failing, wanting or not wanting, approving or not approving, forever. Happy is what we are and what we'll be if we don't believe we are wrong to be as we are.

by

Bruce Di Marsico

Montclair, Saturday, July 3rd, 1993

[Kat817 19]

I got an email not long ago very similar to this, I will re-read it a few times, and let some of it seep in!!!!

Someone on LBT has a signature line that says something like

Whether you believe you will succeed or whether you believe you will fail-----you will be right.

Something to think about.

Isn't there a book/movie about positive thinking and how it affects us that come out not long ago? I will ask on my other thread, they watched it I think.

Gotta go hang grass skirts!!!!!

Kat

[TracyK 3]

2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits a dollar...all for Lunasa, stand up and holler!!!!!

(I would do a cheerleader jump into a split, but that will have to wait until I lose 75 more pounds :eek: )

[adorable 1]

Lunasa,

I understand how you feel...when I stop losing even for a few days I tend to get really down. One side effect of this journey can be depression - for many reasons ranging from plateaus to physical and emotional changes in our bodies. I'd see your doc about your feelings...you may need to get on some kind of anti-depressant temporarily. This is pretty common for any kind of WLS. Remember that you have lots of friends here who care about you...when you feel like venting or feel sad, please come talk to us!!!

*hugs*

[TracyinKS 7]

Good evening Violetts!

Well tomorrow a.m. I am off for a girls weekend... NO BOYS, dbf is kind of pouty because he will have all four of them alone for the weekend!

ME... well I'm going to enjoy it! I am flying into Nashville and then driving to Hendersonville and staying a a place on the lake... the only downer is that the weather is calling for rain.... and I had my hear set on a raft in the lake with a smut book and a dt dr pepper and rum and many good talks with friends.............

Every time I'm set to go somewhere I start missing my son and all sorts of stupid crap creeps in my head.... I guess its a hold over from his miracle entrance into this world (former infertility).........

I hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll check in on Monday.. which is also FILL #2 day... 9:30 a.m. :eek: