Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[TracyinKS 7]

HELLLLLLLLLLLLO!!!!!

I woke up and was at the gym by 4:45 a.m., did 45 minutes of the Lady Maximus Circuit (similar to Curves) and then I decided to try the Early Bird step class!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHH MY Goodness........ it is amazing that I had any sweat left in me because it was pouring out. I really like the instructor.. I told her that I had to leave by 6 a.m. and she took the time to introduce herself and then show me a few of the basic steps..... I still got lost, but my heart rate was up. I will most likely start making that my Monday Wednesday a.m. class............. so that was good....

Then........ my son (almost 4) threw a grouchy fit and ended up slipping on the hardwood floor busting open his chin on the coffee table and we had to make a trip to the ER........ His first ever stitches....... 6 total. Its under your chin (where a double chin starts)....... He now realizes that fit throwing is NOT worth it, because he can swim for a week or more and he missed out on skating today......

So then that leaves me to the STUPID ASS THING I DID.......... I smashed a plain bagel and toasted it, thinking that since it was squashed flat and toasted that I would be able to eat it........ was fine til the last bite and then the slime began! Finally before lunch time I was done but my throat was sore....... so I just had a diet coke float (from Wendy's) I did tell them to fill it with mainly diet coke and less icecream, but yes I did still eat every finger licking bite....... my throat is better and my tummy is full........ needless to say...... I'm having either eggs or tuna for dinner to make up for the calories and carbs I ate earlier today.

I too think my face in last nights pics looks fatter than my 1 month pic.. I am somewhat disgusted with myself for not losing more by now, but I know that my next fill will help and I know the exercise will help... but dang it..... I'm still pissed at myself for eating crap undoing all my good works...... this is my self sabotaging ways at work....... its just a good thing that I physically can't eat that damn bagel... and now I KNOW it.

Laura: I love your pics that you posted on the before and after page! You are such a young looking miss thang! and as for you mom...... Yeah.. I know...... food Police Suck! Dbf called while I was sucking down the float and he made a smart ass comment about since it had the word DIET in it that it was ok......... ( I said well its better than regular pop!!!) Like Michelle's DH.. he isn't as well versed in the fill methodology as we are.

Now its time to down some water.. I am doing an employee orientation in a few minutes and then I have a dentist appointment... I'll try to check in later

[Teachlady 3]

Good afternoon SV's....

It's been a very lazy week for me, but this is the week when people are starting to notice that I'm not carrying 41 extra pounds. I've had lots of compliments and that sure does feel good. I had a singing rehearsal last night and we decided to practice on the steps of the church outside rather than inside where it was hot, hot, HOT. For the first time I was able to get down on the steps, sing for a couple of hours and still be able to get up under my own power!!! These NSV's are getting better and better!!

Today we finished cleaning out the garage. DH did most of the work, I just did a little sweeping. Now we're ready for the big garage sale mid-July so I can earn a little money for a shopping spree when we go see Clay Aiken in concert July 23rd. There are 6 of us gal pals going and it should be a blast..

I'm fried to a crisp today so I'm not going in the pool. Don't want to risk anymore redness. Besides it's raining on and off today so not a good day for pool aerobics. Our bikes are in to be tuned up so I'm guessing no exercise for today. I'll have to double up tomorrow.

Jenn.. sure hope you get news on a job this week. We're all pullin' for you.

Laura.. your pics look great. What a difference in your face!!

mdrai.. good to see you finally!! You can tell a difference in your face as well.

Time to get off here and see what relaxing thing I can do next. A nap sounds good to me right now. But I think I'll be a good girl and head to Curves. Guess I've become an exercise addict like most of you!!

Everyone have a great day!!!

[areellady 1]

I had a thought about the pictures and three of us are seeing our faces as MORE fat in latest picture as compared to before pictures. I was wondering what you thought about maybe the fat comes off in your face first, then after your body has had some time to acclimate to the fat loss it might come back in your face a bit????? I don't know, I am just trying to do a guess here.....I was very disappointed in my latest pictures because I thought I should be able to see a HUGE difference in my face from the month before picture. Anyone else have any ideas???? Deanna

[TracyK 3]

Well, my .9 fill is doing some good. I had oatmeal at noon and here it is 5:30 and I am really not too hungry. The thing that will really tell if the fill did any good is when my TOM is over...but until then, I am going to enjoy the restriction.

I just bought a new book called "for one more day" by Mitch Albom. I heard about the book on some TV show and I had to buy it. It is about a man that is at a very low point in his life and is going to commit suicide and then he gets to spend "one more day" with his mom that has passed away 8 years ago. Anyway, I am going to start reading it now...or at least try to. It is ot easy to read with a almost 4 year old running around the house. :eek:

[Jennifur 0]

Hello all

first thank you all for such support, i wish it helped, I only want 1 job LOL

Laura - sometimes I wish I had food police, I'm sure I wouldn't if I did, but I don't have anyone giving me hell about what I eat. My dad said on Fathers day it was nice to see me actually eat something, I had 2 scram eggs, a pc of turkey sausage and a couple bites of my cheese hashbrown thing at crackerbarrel, everything else i put on another plate and moved it away from me.

We had a great day, had to leave for a dental appt, but just in time, a huge storm followed us home and it is just ending, my pool overflowed on my neighbors yard, and they are already asses (dog issues and not mine!) On a happy note, I have an appt in the am with a temp agency so hopefully they will find me something.

SOOOOOOOO - Today I decided to start Protein Shake day, so I had one for Breakfast, one in the cooler for lunch when we left the park and I am having 3 oz chicken and a bowl of salad for dinner. Lets see how that all goes. LOL

Hopefully can jumpstart something while I wait for July 17th for a fill

[adorable 1]

Grrr! Why won't the forum let me stay logged in anymore..

Don't feel bad Laura, it's making me log back in everytime too!

[Teachlady 3]

Another day done and one more day closer to my second fill. I did my 30 minutes at Curves so I'd get my exercise in today. Had a great supper of 1 slice pork roast and 1 cup summer squash and red pepper cooked up with some garlic.. yums.

I'm headed to bed. Ethan comes again tomorrow and I have to go to a meeting and then get my hair cut. Looks like Grandpa is going to be doing most of the watching tomorrow!!

Everyone sleep well....

[tinybelle 0]

hay gang, has anybody had issues with pain in the left side, below ribs, but above the port area? I have for a couple of days now. I sorta think I need some "fiber" if you know what I mean. but not sure.

I have 2nd fill set for July 16. I can't wait. I keep going up & down by a pound or two every day or so. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING .

I've lost a total of 26 or 27 lbs, but I was hoping for more by now.

Any help you successful people can give me.

I get 50-60 gms of Protein. calories are about 1200-1500 most days.

no sweets, I exercise 4-6 times a week, 20-30 min. each time.

I DON"T GET IT. WHAT COULD I BE DOING WRONG?:help:

[adorable 1]

So far (it's only been 3 days), this fill makes me feel perfectly satisfied. I'm not too hungry between meals, and I get satisfied with about 1 to 1 1/2 cups of food. However, so far I'm still able to eat the foods that I love....:hungry:

Tonight my hubby and I went out for Japanese food...I had a very small salad, a spicy tuna roll (but only ate 4 of 8 pieces), and had about 2 ounces of my hubby's grilled teriyaki chicken breast. I was perfectly content! I wasn't sure how I'd do with the rice on the sushi roll, but I chewed well, and didn't eat too much, so I've felt fine so far. I'm happy as can be!!! I figured out my calories for today and I'm at 850 and 60 grams of Protein (I usually like more)...I can deal with that! :eek:

[lunasa 1]

Hi there...

I've missed so much..I'm not gonna even try to catch up..

News with me...I have spent the month of june gaining and loosing the same 4.5lbs... I am now at the same weight when I reached just below my first goal..I haven't seen a smaller scale number since 7th June..

I am devastated, depressed and I am in despair about how the rest of my life is going to have to be..struggling in diet mode or obese for life.

I only loose weight when I am on liquids. I am tortured ever since introducing food back into my life..it is causing me pain, not physical, emotional..I can't deal with it.

I look back on my entries during my liquid stage and I was so full of hope & confidence I really thought I had turned a corner but now since food is back in my life I am in despair again...

Once again I have retreated to the safety of my own home, I have cancelled on and avoided my friends..I am overwhelmed at work and I can't help thinking or wanting to sleep forever.

I went to bed last night wishing I could have the strength to never eat food again...I hate it, it causes me pain and I feel my life will never be right as long as I have to deal with eating... I feel compelled to keep eating once I start and it's not because I can or want to it's because I can't bear the thoughts that I have to count & control and I feel the life being sucked out of me.

Every event, even going to the cinema is a dread because I have this Fucking diet monkey on my back ONCE MORE and forever will...

I have wasted my money on this band as I gave it more power that it deserves..It has not become the answer to my prayers as I thought it would and I was stupid to think it would..

I want food out of my life..I cannot cope with having to restrict EVERY little minute of my miserable existance anymore..

I have so much to be happy about and I can't move on out of this hole of misery bitterness and dread..

I can't stand looking at myself anymore and I can't stand being trapped inside a mind that does not see or believe things will ever be any different

[TracyK 3]

Lunasa-I am sorry to hear that you are in such emotional pain. I will pray or you. I do ot know if you believe in that kind of thing, but I do...so I will.

I wish there were something I could say to make you feel better. I know that all of us at one time or another in our lives have felt what you are going though. From someone that weighed 325 at one time, I can feel your pain all the way over here in Texas. I am so sorry. Try not to let the depression monster overcome you...because when you do, it wins.

Please keep in touch and let us know you are OK. Believe it or not, there are worse things in life than living overweight....I know it does not seem like it, but there are. Please take care...we care about you.

[Ms Jen 1]

Lunasa

First of all girl hug

Hang in there, look at the big picture, you have lost 24 lbs in 2 months. when was the last time you did that? that in it self is a big achievement!:clap2:

I'm not lossing as fast as I would like either. Try to keep living one day at a time and stop comparing yourself with others. Perhaps there are other things going on with your body. Have you had your thyroid checked. It can cause weight gain, depression, and many other things. I know because mine was out of wack and I gained 60lbs in less than 5 months and I'm still trying to get rid of the weight.

Perhaps you might need a full blood workup to check for diabetes and any other problems.

I felt so depressed for about a year that I was having anxiety attacks almost everyday that would leave me curled up on the floor. I just wanted to die. I went to a doctor and got laser accupunture (sp?) and it wass great!!! I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I was so relaxed I couldn't drive. I had to recline in my car for about 1/2 hour to enjoy. The sun looked brighter and the birds seem to sing louder and I felt all was right with the world. That feeling lasted for about 3 weeks and I went back for another treatment. I did this for over a year, then I started looking into the band.

When I went for my psych evaluation I was given several task to do and I realized what my triggers were and learned how to deal with them. It made me face life and deal constructively with it.

My husband was at the root of all my problems and I had to learn to change my response to how I react to him. (I won't go into detail but it was bad.) He no longer knows what to expect of me and when I feel life caving in on me I announce to the world, my husband and even my 2 cats, "I'm not taking any crap today!" and everyone scatters and I have peace.

If there are no support groups for you to attend find a upscale AA meeting to go to. All addictions are the same. Feelings the same. And the way we deal with them the same. I found this out when I took someone to the meetings every week for a few months. I have to admit it made me understand myself a lot more.

Don't let this have power over you!! Know that you are not alone in this. Many of us feel the same way and just don't verbalize it.

Much , much love to you!!

[TerriDoodle 6]

(((Lunasa))) Dear One,

The problem is simply that you are not properly filled yet....don't you know that? What is your fill status?

You know you can do this!! Yes, you have to make healthier food choices but doesn't everyone? Even if you were skinny it would be better for your health to eat a plum than a bag of chips. Throw out all the crap food in your pantry and refrigerator today AND the beer! It's not a diet...it's simply eating for better health! Go ahead and eat Peanut Butter and bananas or cottage cheese and pineapple by the bucket-loads if you want....just no chips or fries! Did you know that Protein triggers the hormone that tells us to stop eating when full, but carbs do not? That's why you can eat an entire bucket of popcorn and never get full. How many boiled eggs do you think you could eat?

As far as your weight going up and down, up and down....I think we're all in that spot this month (except for our mascot, Judy!!). I've only lost 2.5# this entire month! But like Kat said above, it seems slow but when a year goes by you'll look back at how amazing the losses all added up. Just keep going forward no matter what! It's WAY too early in the ball game to give up and you know it.

Take a deep breath and take control. Call your doctor today and schedule a fill. Read an inspirational book. Meditate. Find some peace today.

It's ALL good!!

XOOXOXOOXOXOXO,

Terry

[Ms Jen 1]

[quote=TerriDoodle;

Take a deep breath and take control. Call your doctor today and schedule a fill. Read an inspirational book. Meditate. Find some peace today.

It's ALL good!!/quote]

AMEN! TerriDoodle, AMEN!

[mdrai 3]

Dear Lunasa,

You've gotten some great advice from others already, so I won't repeat their excellent points, but I'll try to add some others.

My first thought on reading your post is that I'm very worried about you! Perhaps some psychological counseling in tandem w/your weight loss efforts would serve you well? We've all discussed time & again how the HEAD work is as important -- if not more -- as the physical weight loss aspect of this journey.

That's my second point... to keep in mind that this is a JOURNEY... a scenic journey... not the expressway ('tho I wish it was!). We'll be up & down & all around, physically & mentally... "good" months & "bad"... but look at how you've met your first goal already!... and tho you're ending the month where you began, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T GAIN! A + in my book!

Third... what about fills? You've had one, right? Well, I keep reading that it can take 3 or so before you get your "sweet spot". Keep working w/your doc to get you to that point where the band is working for you... it doesn't sound like you're there yet! Don't give up on the band just yet... you've got to tweak it 'til it CAN & WILL work for you!

When I ended the liquid phase I, too, gained... 7 lbs... I was freaking out! But I started walking 30 mins/day (a major milestone for me!) and tried to keep in mind that my bod was adjusting to everything I've put it through over the past 6 weeks (-30 in 6 weeks is a LOT to adjust to!).

I haven't had a fill yet, and have 2 more weeks to go to get my first... and I can eat ANYTHING seemingly in any amount... so yes, right now I am in more of a "diet" mode... I'm not at all maniacal about weighing/measuring/charting what I eat... I try to stay low carb (no bread, carb, pasta...) and also try to eat about 1/2 of what I would've eaten previously... I use our smallest plates for dinner... I have a Protein Shake in the a.m., about 3 oz chix or crab & some veggies for lunch, and then a small portion of what I make the family (tonight it's salmon) for dinner... w/maybe some lf cheese for snax if I need it... But I've also had times when we've gone out & I had a piece of pizza & a salad; or 2 margaritas & a whole chicken taco salad... or eaten like 4 slices of homemade bread (!)... stuff like that... but I try to be "good" more than "bad"... does it suck to be "dieting" even in a "general awareness" way? Yes! Could I eat more right now? Yes! So what keeps me being "good" if it's not the band?? It's knowing that in 2 more weeks I'll get my fill and then the band will start doing its job... so for me anyway, because this "dieting" isn't "open-ended", meaning I have only my willpower for support until I lose all my 125+ lbs, then I know I can do it! It's just 2 weeks! I can do it for 2 more weeks! W/ this approach, I'm down 5 of those "gained" lbs, and have just 2 more to go to get back to -30 and then on to NEW FAT! Yay!

The past winter I believe that I was clinically depressed. I was lethargic all the time... would get the kids off to school then crash on the couch all day 'til about 1/2 hr before they got home, then I'd get up to make it look like I hadn't been on the couch all day... I played hours of computer games... I didn't go out... I was my heaviest weight and felt hopeless about that... basically a blah existence. So I can relate w/the feelings that you describe.

I know that once I "discovered" lap band, and began the process to get it, my hope was slowly restored... then I met all of you and I knew I wasn't alone in this journey... that you all understood what I was going through... I've been up, I've been down since... but OVERALL already my life is better for this decision... I haven't taken a nap in months! I am trying new things (aqua pilates, anyone?)! My clothes are beginning to feel looser. I'm definitely happier... I believe it is because of hope.

Sorry to go on and on... I guess I keep typing because I'm hoping that something in my experience may be able to help you... you have such an amazing spirit and have touched me deeply in the short time we've "known" each other... Please give yourself & the band a chance!

Keep posting!