Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters

[mdrai 3]

Oh dear, Terry... sorry to hear about your burger experience!

I was surfing around on the "food" forum and there's a thread about "Do you find it easier to eat junk" (or something like that... it's a poll) and I'm reading the posts & starting to freak out about am I doing the right thing w/getting a band? It seemed like practically everyone had some horror story about not being able to eat before noon/4/6pm or only shakes and all crazy stuff like that and then one person wrote this:

"I think back to when I thought I'd just be eating small amounts of food and wonder why I didn't know that eating at all would become such a chore."

That's what I think!... that I'll be able to eat pretty much whatever, just smaller amounts of it. When I think that I could have a whole host of problems of what/when/how much, etc., I start to get fretful. Part of the reason I'm doing this is so I don't have to spend so much time thinking/planning food... that it'll be a nonissue... I don't want it to actually be MORE difficult!

I'm attempting to calm myself by remembering that many (most?) of you brave, trailblazing Violets had serious moments of doubt in the couple weeks prior to surgery, and that these thoughts are normal, and that it will all be ok... I'm generally a positive attitude kind of gal, resourceful, not taken to whining (all that much)... and think that these traits will serve me well in my post-band life. But still... the niggling fear of surgery, of the unknown of what "after" will be like, of missing my "old friends, food" (or at least the quantities of them)... are starting to circle 'round my brain and get my bp up... tell me this is normal, and this too shall pass!

[TerriDoodle 6]

This too shall pass!!! How many meals have I had since I got banded? something like...125? And this is the first real problem I've had. I've been able to eat chicken, eggs, any and all veggies, fruit, crackers, Peanut Butter, etc. Today I was 'pushing the limits' of my band...I was breaking the rules and I paid the price!! I'm not worried at all about my future with the band and being able to eat normally (just less). Please don't let my story scare you.... bumps in the road are inevitable...it's just a part of learning to live with the band. This is how we learn. I won't eat bread again. Simple! Let's see.....there's a zillion other things that I CAN have!! YIPPEE!!!

[Daisalana 33]

terri! Everyone else! Get on the chat

I am going to go sit in there till someone joins me.. I'm in a WL chatty mood, found some chatroom on AOL for 'weight loss' and theyre all talking about being fat and proud, I said I was lap-banded and they're all joking on me, like I gave up being fat.. I'm very confused with these people. I need some friendly banders!! (Going to go sit in that room so someone better come join me!!!)

[Daisalana 33]

...and waiting.

[Angie38 1]

mdrai~

Dont worry, we have all had our fears and doubts that is perfectly normal. I believe if you asked anyone of us we would all tell you we made the right decision and would gladly do it again!

A newsflash on my fill: for lunch I ate fine....... i stayed full until 8:00 pm then I ate two tiny bites of a pork chop and one bite of mashed potatoes and I am FULL! I couldn't eat another bite and believe me that pork chop was just lookin at me wanting me to eat it. But I couldn't <--- Yippee!!!

Tracyinks -- good job on tossing the meatloaf! What a victory!!

Terridoodle -- good job on not trying "just one more bite"..... you would have really hurt! Sorry you had to deal with the slime why your mother was there. That must have been tough.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Ms Jen 1]

You both are BEAUTIFUL...I've read what you write and know that you both are beautiful inside and out.

Now...I'm going to be really blunt.

Ask yourselves what your boyfriends get out of the arrangement.

do you cook, clean, take care of him? help with the money? be a bedmate? Love him and want to marriage him?

NOW..what do you get and WANT..a man that takes all of this from a woman ..and doesn't marry that woman is a selfish man. Please do NOT waste another moment of your percious lives on such a man.

If this man LOVED you he would have jumped at the change to marry you. This has NOTHING to do with you..only that you have somehow hitched on to something that only takes and never gives.

Each of you are getting stronger in who you are...please, please don't waste your lives with such a person.

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs...

AMEN!!! I second that motion. I've been married 3 yes count'm 3 three times and would be on to the 4th if I wasn't so old and tired too divorce again. But if he gave me a real good reason I'd be outta here.

[Daisalana 33]

mdrai- Calm down! It will be fine. I do think less about eating, like you said. It becomes punishment at times.. not thinking ahead when I won't be anywhere with decent food for a while.. so I have to get something from fast food (after carefully checking out the menu for something relatively decent).. and then 1-2 bites in (like terri said), its not a good moment.. I normally feel 'stuck' when I eat stuff from fast food...which is good really.. but I don't think about meals, I think of them when I'm there.. example.. on way home from work, stopped at gas station, said hmm what can I have that would be ok? And there they were.. tuna salad 'kits'. Those things are handy.. picked one up, and voila dinner is served.. that little kit, which normally would HARDLY be called an appetizer for me.. is now a good dinner. Those kind of moments are nice.. you don't have to think about a full meal plan anymore.. what all it will take to fill you up.. because I personally can normally get by on days I'm on the go, with a bite or two of things. Who could say that pre-band?

[TerriDoodle 6]

Exactly, Laura! The thing is when you're pre-band you worry so much about "what will I eat???"...but what you don't realize is that after the band it's not nearly as big of a deal anymore! Like you said, just a couple of bites of this or that and you're good to go. I can make do with a couple of spoonfuls of Peanut Butter, a scrambled egg or two, an ounce or two of cheese, etc. That can carry me for another 2-3 hours! Laura, you made a great choice with the tuna kit! You make me proud! I always used to eat nuts on the run like that....but if I eat them now I have to chew the heck out of them! I also am finding that if I'm feeling hungry, I just drink some Water or Propel and that'll keep me going for awhile too.

I LOVE MY BAND!!

[househuntress 1]

:mad: I'm just sooo mad at myself. I was banded April 9th, 07 and can't get a fill until May 30th. I can eat just about anything. I've been trying hard to eat the small meals. I've lost 23lbs since band day and these last two week, it's been harder to stay with the smaller portions.

Well tonight..I blew it. I ate WAY more than I have ever since getting banded. It was almost like I was just trying to see how much I could eat. Now..let me add this..it's NO WHERE NEAR..what I could eat before the band.

It's just about double what I have eaten a day since banded.:hungry:

I ate out Thursday lunch, Thursday dinner and Friday lunch..so maybe that was what started all of this. I'll have to try to figure out what happened.

But I'm still very pissed at myself.:faint: :faint: :mad:

I keep trying to listen to myself and say it was just ONE day, just ONE day. :angry

[kity 2]

Huntress~ I feel your pain. We are on the same page, banded early April, first fill is May 30, and I've lost 23 pounds too!!! I can eat anything now, although I've stopped bread, Pasta, rice, any/all fast food and any sodas. It is hard now, because I can eat as before. I try to make good choices, and small amounts, and I am pretty good during the day. I find I am snacking on these Peanut Butter pretzles (I know, I know) then drinking Water, and then I feel soooooo full. I am looking forward to the fill, want to feel full quicker.

Terry~ Your story scares the crap out of me. I am fearfull of having this experience out in public, and more importantly, alone (I am alone during the week). Was this your first bread? Are you still feeling the effects of the stuck bread? Sore? Now what? Mushies for a few days. I hope your feeling ok. Thanks so much for posting, you have no idea how the info helps us all!

Have a good night Violets!

[Daisalana 33]

The times I've gotten stuff 'stuck', it's been an interesting ordeal.. In fact, last night I tried to eat dinner while talking on the phone to a wedding coordinator.. she is just rambling on, I'm trying to take in all the information and started shoveling food in my mouth.. I was following up with 'Right..' and "I can see that...' and all of a sudden I realized I was shoveling food.. cause I got stuck. When I get stuck, my whole body freezes up.. I can't talk, I can't move.. I feel a little dizzy I think.. it's really a 'different' sensation. It's not good, but it's not horrible. I panic every time.. and drink Water (which is NOT an answer, it makes it worse.. but I still do it).. so I grab my water, knowing it won't help, but thinking 'maybe this time it will'.. it makes it worse.. so I'm sitting there not able to say a word while she's pausing waiting for my response.. I prayed that she would keep rambling (and boy, she likes to ramble.. glad people like this exist, I'm not even that gung-ho over weddings). It finally passed and I was able to jump back in with my little quips, but I could tell by how her conversation was going, she thought she was losing my interest!

Today we met up with her and discussed a bunch of stuff..and she was talking about planning my bridal shower.. anyone that's been married ever worry that no one would show up? I moved back here recently and none of my friends live here anymore, or those that do I don't 'hang out' with.. everyone is married and busy and we get together for lunches once in a while, but I have this phobia that I'd have a bridal shower planned and no one would come.. :mad:

And on that note, I have 2 people in my party so far (my best friend who is out of state and coming for the wedding, and my sister..) my fiance has 3 guys.. already asked 2 who are out of state and coming, so they are definitely in, and 3rd he hasn't asked, but I tried to ask if he HAS to ask him and he said he WANTS to.. so.. now I have to find a 3rd friend.. how sad is this?! As I ranted in a previous post, all my local girl friends are announcing their pregnancies, and I'm only paying an alterer to do quick fixes on one dress.. MINE! lol.

There's some girls at work I've been hanging out with lately, and one of them has been helping me with my wedding, and I discussed with fiance asking her, but how silly is this that I'm having to find someone to ask, not that I want to ask someone.. Woe is me.

We set our official budget, and with the crazy prices of people like photographers and videographers.. I already have (an 'estimate' on a lot of things I don't know price of, like getting hair/make-up done, tux rentals, things like that) gone over my budget by 2k.. and everyone says you should plan to spend 10% more than you think you will be.. egads.. I'm not even budgeting a lot for alcohol.. wedding coordinator charges too much IMO, but we interviewed several and they're all in the same ball park. In my next life, I will elope.

[Kat817 19]

Well here it is late at night again, and I am still up!!! I ate dinner way too late, so giving myself some time to digest, before laying down, otherwise I reflux! ICK!!!!

Well I too have been around the block before, and know that marriage is only the right answer if it is the right person...sounds like these situations that Haydee and Jennifur are in, are questionable in that sense. The way I see it is you can wait for them to bring you flowers---or you can plant your own garden....You are strong, and worth so much more effort than is being put out for you. We have conditioned ourselves to accept that and expect little or nothing. It is not just you guys. I was so unaccustomed to being treated well, I kept waiting to see what was up with my DH---and that has been many years ago. To this day, he spoils me. But it isn't just me. He coached baseball teams for over 20 years, he is always mechanicing on someones car---or on the phone diagnosing the problem. He had so many visitors when he was in the hospital, it was quite eye opening. He is not just nice to me---he is a nice guy. Everyone likes him, he is friendly, he likes them. I am just lucky enough to be the one he loves that loves him back. You deserve the emotional comfort that brings. To KNOW you are #1. This is a combination of this and another conversation---but someone mentioned to Laura, that the words "obey" were not in some vows. When my oldest DD married, she did not want that said---I told her then, that he was not the man for her then...she thought I was being a Mom, and blew me off. I tried to tell her, whether she says it or not, she should know in her heart she could say it and mean it. I know Rick would never ask me to obey anything that he did not believe with every ounce of his soul was in my best interest. He would not ask it. Because he would never exploit that, I could if ask, say it. She has since divorced, and is in a relationship now, she says she understands the difference. We were married in our church (Methodist) and it was not part of our vows. We did light a unity candle. We had a reading about joining 2 hearts, 2 families, and 2 lives into one.....as we lit it. My DD in the wedding she had, she held 2 long stemmed roses in with her bouquet, and as she was walked down the aisle, she stopped, and gave me a rose, and kissed Rick, and then after they were pronounced husband and wife, on the way back up the aisle she stopped and gave the other rose to her new MIL. It was pretty.

Ok, now to dump my opinion on Tracy too!!!! Wait until you can discuss it with him---he will likely never remember this meeting, he is young. Going, may make him think you EXPECT him to like these people. When he is 6 or so, tell him you are going to meet some family members on his Fathers side, and if he likes being there, you can go again, if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to go again. No biggie...play it down. But until he can form an opinion, I would give them little to no access to his happy little world.

Angie, are you sure about the size of your band? Maybe you have the larger band---which would account for the bigger fill. I hear lots of people are preferring the large size, they say there are less complications.

Mdrai---don't stress over the food situation---many of us still eat normally. I eat the same things I did before, in much smaller quantities! The food threads, and the complications threads, make it seem like everyone has issues....but that is because when we don't....we don't post about it! No one would want to respond --or at least respond nicely to a thread....I ate 3 meals today without issue!!!

Househuntress, TY for your kind words for DH's upcoming ablation. The only reason they say his will take so long is because he is bouncing back and forth between atrial flutter, and atrial fibrillation. They said most of the time is spent watching a pattern form, then disrupting that, and he is not is a set pattern. He is hoping to do it in 3-4 hours. But also warned it could take much longer. He has high hopes of this fixing the problem though. He is showing some signs of congestive heart failure now, which they warned us about, but the meds they calledin have helped with the swelling etc. Hoping to hold out til the planned surgical date.

Took my granddaughters to a carnival last night---and I fit on the childrens bumble bee ride!!!! They said my youngest DGD was too small to go without an adult. Some of the rides, they let her go with the 6 year old, not the bees or the airplanes---Granny got to go too!!!! Point being I fit! Felt like a fool---but I FIT!

Ok, I am rambling now......everyone take care will chat with you tomorrow......

Kat

[TracyinKS 7]

GOOD MORNGING! I am up early and hoped for some peace before the house woke up.............. WRONG!

Thanks Kat for the thoughtful words on ds, bio. I am going to put it off. He is oblivious right now as it should be.

[TerriDoodle 6]

Well tonight..I blew it. I ate WAY more than I have ever since getting banded. It was almost like I was just trying to see how much I could eat. Now..let me add this..it's NO WHERE NEAR..what I could eat before the band.

It's just about double what I have eaten a day since banded.But I'm still very pissed at myself.I keep trying to listen to myself and say it was just ONE day, just ONE day.

HH - First of all, this is perfectly normal behavior...well, at least I went thru it and seem to read about it all over this board! So it seems normal to me. It is just part of bandster hell...plain and simple. Especially the part where you say "just to see how much I could eat"...that sounds like me. I think part of it is that we miss that REALLY full feeling that we used to have after meals and the other part is just that you ate too fast. I know I am guilty of that. I really don't think that this is worth all this self-flagellation....you are not a robot and you are going to revert to old patterns occassionally. You are absolutely fine!! Just get back on the program, look at it as a learning experience, examine what you could have done differently and try again today. It's all good!:mad:

Terry~ Your story scares the crap out of me. I am fearfull of having this experience out in public, and more importantly, alone (I am alone during the week). Was this your first bread? Are you still feeling the effects of the stuck bread? Sore? Now what? Mushies for a few days. I hope your feeling ok. Thanks so much for posting, you have no idea how the info helps us all!

Well, it's not so much a scary thing when it happens, it's just a "oh, crap...I screwed up" thing. But because I stopped eating and drinking at the first sign of a problem, it wasn't really a big deal except that I had to find some kind of excuse for not eating when i had just been talking about how HUNGRY I was!! That was my point was that you really have to stop eating at the first sign or else it will get worse. When it gets worse that's when the bad sliming happens and that creates the embarrassing public situation. So again, STOP EATING AT THE FIRST SIGN.

Yes, it was my first regular ol' bread...I'd had Pizza Crust and tortillas with no problem and I thought I had lost my restriction. I was hungry and just went for it w/o really thinking. But at the instant that bread hit my band it started hurting. As far as after effects, yes I was a little sore last night. I had baked chicken (very juicy) and broccoli and found that I had to cut up the chicken into tiny little bites (like the size of a peanut) and only ate the flower of the broccoli....and I couldn't eat much...and was a little sore. Today I will stick with soft foods, most def.

Announcement: I *FINALLY* dropped another pound today. Last time was 15 days ago!!! :mad: But I do think I've been retaining Water due to my workouts at the gym and have been trying to not get discouraged. After all this hard work, it was gratifying to see a new number today. Hopefully from here on out I won't be seeing the 2's ever again! That deserves a charm!!

Love you guys. Have a great day!

[Lap_dancer 8]

Girls I've gained five pounds. I have very little restriction. ahhhhhh.

June 7th cannot get here soon enough.

To the ones excercising! BRAVO! My joints (feet) bloody kill me after five minutes.

Chica have fun in Chicago!!!!!!!!!!

And to the lovelorn who can't get a proposal out of their sweethearts.

From the mama in me. What is motivating your boyfriends to marry you? If you are giving them everything a wife would give for free there's no reason to marry!

My daughter's fiancee wanted her to move to be near his base about three hours from here. At first she was tempted so they could "get to spend more time together and know eachother a little better" but after careful thought she told me, " I would be giving up everything I have here to be near him and he would be giving up what?" Nothing. She said no. A few months later falling more in love with eachother he firmly told her "you are what I want and I don't want to lose you". They are getting married Feb. 2. BUT read my pellets and rice thread on the wedding plans. AHHHHHHHHHH!