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Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters



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~ShineOn ~

I think thats normal. I think we are all stressing way too much...LOL!! I know I am. I have gained and lost the same 5 lbs like 3 times. It's making me nuts!!

Take care and best of luck!!

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Okay, so I have started my liquid pre-surgery diet. I know that I can make it, right??? food just seems to be everywhere everytime I turn around!! So, I went to a presurgery education class today and now I am worried that my liver will be too big and they will have to do open surgery. I am kicking myself for not working harder the last month to lose as much as possible.:faint: How is everyone else doing with the pre surgery diet?

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My official surgery date is April 26th!!!!! I'm soooo excited, yet I'm scared too. I have so many things to look forward to, but I also have fears...fears of the unknown I suppose.

I'm afraid that I'll fail as I always have at losing weight. I'm afraid that I'll lose this weight and continue to have the same health problems that I have being fat. I'm afraid that my family won't be a good source of support (yes they're all overweight and love to eat - including my hubby). I'm afraid that this will affect my marriage - and I love this guy dearly. I'm afraid that I'll not make it out of the anesthesia, and how my kids will take that... But despite all of my fears, I know that for myself I have to do this. I'm killing myself just being so overweight... *I* am tired of being overweight, I'm tired of feeling unattractive, and I'm tired of being unhealthy.

Also, despite my fears I have so many things to look forward to. Here is a list of my goals:

1) Get rid of my high blood pressure (and the meds that go along with it!)

2) Get rid of my swollen ankles and legs (and the meds that go along with it! lol)

3) Get rid of my aching joints (and the meds that go along with it!)

4) Get rid of my GERD and hiatal hernia (and the meds that go along with it! jeez I'm on a lot of meds....)

5) Hopefully have more of a sex drive for my poor hubby (it's not as fun when some positions just hurt or make your arms tired LOL)

6) Be able to tie my shoe without that sideways bow and without having to lift my leg up on the bed and get out of breath

7) Be able to wear shirts that don't go down past my butt so that I can hide my gutt and butt! (or at least THINK that I'm hiding them)

8) Be able to try on clothes in the regular "misses" section without trying to be inconspicuous in the "plus size" section of the store.

9) Be able to try on a bra and have it actually fit all the way around me. I went shopping for a bra this weekend - Do you believe that not even Lane Bryant (for plus size women) had a bra that was a 48C??? I guess C cup there ends at a 44 which was too tight....I just wanted to cry so I'm still wearing the only bra that I have left that I've stretched enough to fit....

10) Be able to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night without the bottoms of my feet killing me

11) Be able to sleep all night without waking up and waking up tired (I think I may have sleep apnea - I snore louder than a man LOL)

12) Be able to fit into a 12 (a 9 would be great...hell who am I kidding??? I'd settle for a 16 right about now lol)

13) To not be afraid that I'm going to die from heart disease because I have so much fat in body and my arteries...heart disease runs in my family, as does diabetes, hypertension, etc. I feel that by being fat I'm slowly killing myself. Sure I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but I can't control THAT. I CAN control what I do to my own body.

12) To have a BMI under 25 (I'll even settle for under 30)

13) To be able to sit in a chair and actually fit.

14) To be able to go to a concert at the local convention center and fit comfortably in the seat.

15) To be able to wipe in some very specific places (or dry off, or shave my legs) without getting a cramp in my side from twisting back around.

16) To be able to clip and paint my own toenails and not depend on my daughters or the hubby to do this for me.

17) To go get a massage and not wonder if the masseuse is thinking of charging me double LOL

18) Be able to feel attractive and healthy again - for myself and for my beautiful daughters and hubby so that they can enjoy me more (even though it will technically be LESS of me!).... :)

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Great list Denise! Great attitude, too! Focusing on our "whys" and the positive things that will occur after banding is a great idea! How about we each make up a list, adding to what Denise has written?? I'll do a quick start now, then be back later to add more:

* be able to fly in an airplane w/out worrying that I'll need to ask for a seatbelt extender or that my fat will flop over into the next seat.

* be able to walk through any shop or restaurant without figuring out the widest path to take

* be able to sit in a booth at a restaurant

* wear stylish clothes -- any item I like I will be able to find in a "normal" size! (I think this is one of my favs, as I am soooooooooo much more stylish thant my current wardrobe displays!!!)

* to have all that extra energy & brain power to focus on other, positive things, rather than my fat arse! :)

More, ladies???...

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Denise

Today is my day to be strong, if you read what was going on yesterday I woke up absolutely freaking out yesterday and a lot of your fears are why

Terry and Tracy are great women and have lots of wisdom and positive energy, even with fears and this is what they did for me yesterday.

I stopped focusing on my fears, of course they are still there, but I started focusing on the positive and see great things instead of the things that are scaring me. This is a journey and you have time to think of these things but think about crossing off all the things on your list as you accomplish them. I am not sure how old your kids are but, either way, think about all the great things you will be able to do with them. Amusement parks, vacations where you can keep up, they can wrap their arms around you. These are all things that I started to focus on.

Believe me, I am saying your fears are not real, because boy I was a basket case yesterday. Just saying, have a meltdown (LOL I feel better) we will all be here for you, and then focus on all the good.

Michelle -

***I hate walking in someplace that is crowded and I get sick to my stomach just thinking about how i'm going to make it through

***I would love to have my pic taken and not want to vomit or go into a deep depression when I see it

Have a great day everyone! Thank you - today is a bright new day

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If there is any good advice for calming the nerves at this point, I'll take it too!! I would try the bubble bath but--(I have bad luck) I would just get a Urinary Tract Infection!!!

Morning Ladies

If you figure it out can you please share - I would love to go for a walk and get some fresh air, but it got cold and snowy again, just when the snow and ice from the last big storm melted. Walkways are a mess.

It is funny, I have never been so anxious about anything, this has been a long journey and we are almost there :clap2: .

I have a friend in the March Banders who is having her surgery tomorrow I am on her list to get info and have a bunch of my pre-op appts at the hospital. I am so very excited for her and think it will help to actually know someone do it.

HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!

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AMEN!

:clap2:

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Here's My List:

I actually printed it out and framed it on my wall. Some of them are repeats but here we go!

1.) Being able to fully embrace myself as athletic, outgoing and sexy :drum:

2.) Feeling in Control :hungry:

3.) Cute Clothes

4.) No limitations on career

5.) Better health- NO DIABETES :eek:

6.) Fit more comfortably on a roller coaster and air plane :flypig:

7.) Feeling and being sexy in a pair of jeans

8.) Take cute pictures with family and friends:behindsofa:

9.) Meeting people and having them judge me based on who I am, not how I look

10.) Conquering the voices of self doubt once and for all!! :der:

11.) Looking cute at the gym

12.) Going clubbing without feeling self-conscious :nerd:

13.) Being a true friend who is no focused on her own issues

14.) Going back to New York looking smokin’ hot :embarassed:

15.) Not being self conscious ALL THE TIME!

16.) Getting to chose whether I want to where slutty clothes (as opposed to just saying "I don't wear fun little mini skirts." Really, I CAN'T wear mini skirts!):Banane20:

17.) Being healthy and happy

18.) Getting roles based on how I perform, not how I look :music:

19.) Happy feet- not the movie!!

20.) Being physically attractive to another person MY AGE

21.) Becoming a sponsor at OA for other overweight bulimics in recovery :welldoneclap:

22.) Going to the Renfrew Reunion in June and being healthy!

23.) Volunteering at Renfrew to tell my story

24.) Being able to teach my (future) children by example how to live well

25.) Being able to enjoy and relish the body that God gave me

26.) Being able to kick my dad’s butt in racquetball

27.) Having improved cardiovascular health :Banane43:

28.) HAVING CHOICE IN MY LIFE!!

29.) Being able to turn 21 and be around 210 pounds! :happybday2:

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Sheila

What a great list of thing to accomplish. I am starting small and should hang it up, right next to a pic of me when i was small -

think positive and stop beating myself up!

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Sheila

What a great list of thing to accomplish. I am starting small and should hang it up, right next to a pic of me when i was small -

think positive and stop beating myself up!

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Hi All,

 

Tracy- Re what are op covers: it looks pretty similar to what Im getting too, although I dont get a barium swallow, apparently when they put the fil in, I think you have to drink Water or eat a runny yogart and if it comes back up its too tight, so they with draw the Fluid. I think its only a 4ml band too? (Should know more in a week or so!)

 

Sara x

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Hi Julz,

 

I have just read your posts, and I am deeply sadened by your loss, I know your son is always with you most days...but to lose your baby must have been one of the most harrowing experiences any human being can go through in their life.

 

I also truely hope your health will get better too in time after this op, and your pains in your joints ease up,and your other conditions will improve.

 

Im also having surgery the same day as you on the 2nd, I'm kinda getting a bit obessive about it all now, my surgery time is 2pm whats yours?

 

Sara x

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LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

 

Terri, your idea on positive affermations and goal setting is just GREAT!!!!!!

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How are my aprilpeeps today! I have been swamped at work and this has been my first chance to check in!!!!!!!!!!

 

I will go catch up on posts now.

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My official surgery date is April 26th!!!!! I'm soooo excited, yet I'm scared too. I have so many things to .... :welldoneclap:

 

 

HOLY HOPPING HaPPY DAYS!

:clap2: YOU ARE MY BAND TWIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

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