Random thing..had surgery 5 days ago

[DianaDominate 4]

So I know this is really weird. I have been craving all kinds of food like crazy since my surgery on Thursday. At one point I was in so much pain and my mom was sad and looked at me and asked "do you regret getting surgery" and I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown in pain at the hospital and I told her "no". For the first time in a long time I admitted out loud, to myself, my family and my boyfriend why I would get so emotional and angry when it came to food. For example if they messed up an order I would flip shit. If food wasn’t cooked the way I like it, I would flip. I literally felt that as soon as I would take a bit of something delicious it would make me so happy. My boyfriend would always tell me to calm down we can reorder or its just cheese they forgot we have some at home. Now since I had the surgery, well obviously I can’t eat anything...but my family has been really supportive of my surgery take care of me and have been eating Soups everyday so they can support me...or if they dont want to eat that they dont eat around me so im not tempted. I am so hungry and I want anything I don’t care what it is I want food so I started making my family eat around me. I explained to my family what gastric bypass ment to me and why I chose not to lose weight without it. It’s hard for anyone who isn’t a "fat kid" to understand. I was seriously addicted to food. Before surgery I started making the changes mentally and learning about healthy food. I come from a Hispanic family so the main stuff in my diet is cheese, sour cream, rice, tortillas and Beans. I sat with my boyfriend because he was so upset I had gastric bypass because he didn’t understand why we couldn’t just work out and eat healthy (he didn’t want to see me go through surgery and feel helpless). I explained why I flipped out all those times. He then nodded and said I will make sure to help you by talking about food and eating what you eat (not that he never supported me; he is incredibly supportive but now has a deeper understanding for my decision). So now after surgery and between lying in bed/walking/sitting in chairs in hospital room I have made myself stronger and will never let myself forget the pain or time or money I have put into this surgery. I will continue to make healthy choices from now on and not let me be in that place I was at. SO after all this pre-ramble stuff... I have been making my bf and parents eat in front of me and I will smell all the food. They feel terrible but as I’m watching them eat and helping them cooked. I think about all the stuff that’s on the food/how it was cooked/how many calories/ I break it down. It smells good but that’s all it is now. If I’m craving something I make my bf eat it in front of me and I watch him as he eats it (creepy I know but I explained) and I will listen to the crunching sounds and the way he enjoys it and how good it smells. Then I break it down. Slowly in a weird way I’m battling my "addiction" an training myself ok if I take a little bite of that...I already feel like shit im gonna feel like more shit and probably throw up. Then I think naa I don’t wana throw up. I’ve been through enough the past 5 days. So instead I make a list of everything I crave and search alternative ways of cooking the same dish so that it’s RNY friendly. So that’s my randomness on it.

[worm2872 635]

Everyone had to find a way to deal with the addiction. I watched my hubby eat for a week like the dogs do. Lol but it helped me realize how much I ate. Have the time I kept up with him. Not good. There are a lot of healthy food options out there. Do your research and take it day by day. Good luck!

[michelecaples 224]

Everyone had to find a way to deal with the addiction. I watched my hubby eat for a week like the dogs do. Lol but it helped me realize how much I ate. Have the time I kept up with him. Not good. There are a lot of healthy food options out there. Do your research and take it day by day. Good luck!

I often smell my familys food too. I dont want to eat it. Smelling is enough. Luckily you will be able to eat the Beans and cheese,soon.