female only not sure anymore...

[Lovelycurves 94]

Me and hubby been talking a lot (or should I say arguing...) I am 21 and we've been married for 2 years in april, and together for 4 years. He is 24. And we've had a lot of problems in our relationship (a lot more good things though) but we've always managed to get past all the negative and love each other and get through the rough times... (maybe we don't have enough play time lol) but anyways we were talking and he wanted me to write down 10 things (new year revolutions) that I want to accomplish this year. Well I can tell you all I definitely don't have 10 things. And maybe only 3 things tops. Anyways we started discussing and I feel like he's always judging me and maybe because I feel horribly about myself I think he does too but I feel like he will judge me over anything just because we were raised in different cultures religions and race. He is from mexico and he came here when he turned 18, I've lived here in usa my whole life (and I'm a white girl) I've had a pretty rough life (not saying he hasn't) but he's never had to have worries like me. Anyways he said he's not sure about our future. I told him this surgery i'm having in April will break us or make us. He said heprAys it makes us better which we are great together. I question us to sometimes but remind myself how we've gotten through so much. I just think he has insecurities of me getting this surgery. Which he's said things in post but he's support me through this and I love him for it.I love him and he says he loves me he just has thoughts of us not being together forever but he wants us to work there's just things he's not liking about me sometimes. Do you ask think this is bad?

[Amanda R 56]

You have to do what is right for you. 2 years is a long time, but in retrospect not really.

[Butterflys123 12]

Hi Wifey21

I can only share with U my experience.

Doing surgery was for me it was about No longer injecting myself with Insulin.

Being constantly exhausted as a result of having too much weight on my body

My partner was really insecure about me having the surgery in fact

I had only been home a week & he dumped ME

I then had to find somewhere else to move for myself & my 16year old son when I could barely lift anything.

Do the surgery for U!!!

It's great that U have a husband who wants to work on stuff with U

How about looking having a clear frame work then it might feel safer so u don't feel judged

Look at doing The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin also go to Kikki.K online they have a great blog on there website about this project

I hope that helps all the best Cx

[one4ozzie 434]

Hi Wifey. You need to do the surgery for yourself. Your husband has already stated he doesn't see a future for the two of you. It seems to me that you love him more than he may you. I am recently divorced after a 22yr marriage. Husband found someone else. I lived my life for my daughter and husband and always put me on the back burner. You don't want to do that, you lose yourself along the way. So live for yourself and put yourself first.

Gen :-) 12/15/12

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Hello like previous poster. I lived my life for my kids & hubby (I'm still married) I never put me 1st always my kids.

When I decided its time for my fat ass to slim down & l had surgery didn't care if hubby agree or not or my 15 year old. I live once & I don't want to be fat bottom line. My knee was affected almost needed knee replacement.

Having WLS was the best decision ever. I'm so happy. In 2014 I'm getting plastic surgery & hubby is against it & I give 2 s*** I don't care. My money my life. I do what I want.

My kids still comes 1st over all but they don't control my life & health I do. I feed them clothe them love them attend school meeting. Clean iim a real woman & mom. Now it's my turn to be extra happy with me.

Good luck

[kiwiladydee 402]

Hey miss wifey

You have to do what's right for you first. If you are never happy, then you will not be happy in your marriage. However, surgery does change a lot of things and it make make your marriage better or worse. You will see who's really there for u!!

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

[Lovelycurves 94]

Thanks ladies I am doing this surgery for me, I'm too young to be this heavy and not be able to do the things I should be able to do, like walk around a park without feeling like my lungs are going to burst, or having high blood pressure. Anyways idk what was wrong with my hubby that day because we have been doing so good, we have little stupid arguments that most any couple would have, but that day he just really wasn't himself. Anyways I love my hubby and as he says he loves me, he said she's going to be a better husband and treat me the way I deserve and I hope that's true. I just think the closer it gets to april he is getting more freaked out, partly cause I've told him its a very risky surgery, but I'm going to be fine but also cause I tell him I can't wait to lose my weight and be skinny and finally feel great about myself. (Along with getting healthy) anyways yes thanks and I'm doing this for myself noone else. And I have great support system just think hubby had a bad day or something

[lissa863 74]

Hi ladies. I'm new here but I understand your situation. In my frist marriage my husband firbid me to have wls. We argued over it profusely and wound up in divorce later anyway. My new husband says he supports me but is worried I will loose the weight and leave him.. all I can say is do what's best for you. If having this surgery is what is best do it. Good luck.