There is a first for everything

[simplysammi 134]

Now I know some people have experienced this before. I have been lucky thus far with the amount of support i have gotten. Yeah I had a few friends try to ask me if there were any other ways. Other then that my friends and my family, most of it, are extremely happy for me.... and scared! Well from the get go my sister was not a fan. She didn't want me to do it and wouldn't talk to me for about two weeks after deciding to do it. Well I'm now 1 week post op and she still won't speak to me. I texted her to ask her to call me, to talk about Christmas, no answer. She then calls my mom and I yell to my mom to tell her i need to talk to her. Her response was ' I don't want to talk to her" Well then my mom got mad and I cried. I have not cried at all this whole experience until then! Long story short she continued to be mean and rude to my mom threw text messages. Her words where. " She just gave up, I have lost all respect for her" Does she not know this is not giving up. This is a tool to help me further my weight loss goals. Giving up, are you fucking kidding me. For the last week every second of every day I have to think about what I am putting in my mouth. How far I've walked, how much i pee and poop. This was not giving up. This was making an ENTIRE life change! It blows my mind that such a smart women can be so childish and mean. If it was a friend of a stranger i wouldn't care so much. She's not only my sister but my best friend. I'm sure others have similar stories and sorry but I just needed to rant! Thank you all for all the support. This site has truly been a blessing!

<3 Samantha

[trevntaysmom 1]

Now I know some people have experienced this before. I have been lucky thus far with the amount of support i have gotten. Yeah I had a few friends try to ask me if there were any other ways. Other then that my friends and my family' date=' most of it, are extremely happy for me.... and scared! Well from the get go my sister was not a fan. She didn't want me to do it and wouldn't talk to me for about two weeks after deciding to do it. Well I'm now 1 week post op and she still won't speak to me. I texted her to ask her to call me, to talk about Christmas, no answer. She then calls my mom and I yell to my mom to tell her i need to talk to her. Her response was ' I don't want to talk to her" Well then my mom got mad and I cried. I have not cried at all this whole experience until then! Long story short she continued to be mean and rude to my mom threw text messages. Her words where. " She just gave up, I have lost all respect for her" Does she not know this is not giving up. This is a tool to help me further my weight loss goals. Giving up, are you fucking kidding me. For the last week every second of every day I have to think about what I am putting in my mouth. How far I've walked, how much i pee and poop. This was not giving up. This was making an ENTIRE life change! It blows my mind that such a smart women can be so childish and mean. If it was a friend of a stranger i wouldn't care so much. She's not only my sister but my best friend. I'm sure others have similar stories and sorry but I just needed to rant! <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> Thank you all for all the support. This site has truly been a blessing!

<3 Samantha [/quote']

Well personally I think if she was your sister, and best friend and if she loved and cared about you, that she would support any decision in your life regardless of she thinks the decisions are rt. or wrong. You need all the positive enforcement you can get right now to stay on track. I would definitely try to sit her down and talk to her about it, and tell her that you love her and how important she is to you and that you would like for her to support your decisions..it might be hard for her to adjust at first, but if she cares he will be there for you. Hope it all works out for you. Just stay positive and keep your head up.

[mom2lucky (suznc) 81]

Is she overweight? Maybe she is jealous that you've chosen to take control of your weight. Hopefully she'll come around, she can't avoid you at Christmas. Maybe you can get a few minutes alone with her? There has to be something going on inside of her or else she wouldn't be distant & hostile. Best wishes - my sis & I are estranged at the moment & it is no fun.

[kiwiladydee 402]

I actually went thought this same thing with my sister after I started losing weight. She was wonderful and supportive about the surgery but six months later she hit a rough patch and gained while I was losing and didn't want anything to so with me.

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[BBdoodle 483]

My sister is my BFF and we are extremely close. When she decided to have WLS I was a bit worried because I knew she was doing it for herself but she was also doing it because her husband like skinny people and was not treating her very well when she was heavy. I just wanted to make sure that SHE was doing it for HER and no one else. Her husband did not even take her or pick her up from the hospital, I did. I was a 110% support for my sister. Every time I saw her I ecouraged her, told her she looked great etc. etc. But a year later when I started putting on the lbs I decided to get it and she was OK with it but never really encouraged me, she only gave me information, on what dr. she used, what she had to do etc. After surgery she had not once gave me encouragement or said anything about the weight loss or said I looked good...NOTHING !!! Until about a 2 wks ago and I only think because the wine was talking (LOL) after 2 glasses of wine she finally said "you are lookin' good", I almost fell off my chair and said "wow - thanks". There is no way she could be jealous because now she is under weight and needs to gain and I have about 30 more lbs to go to my goal so its not like I am past here or anything. We are still BFF's always will be not matter what...but I think its just a "sister" thing. Let your sis adjust to the new you, I would not chase her.... if you see her during the holidays say hello, if you get no response do engage her... she will come around in her own time. good luck sister !!!

[snow25 188]

My aunt and uncle were openly not supportive of my decision, but after I made it they jumped on board and remained supportive of me. I hate that you are going through this with your sister. It is her problem not yours. Stay strong. Anyone who thinks this is the easy way out is way uninformed! Congrats to you for taking control of your life. I bet jealousy is a big factor. She knows you are going to loose weight and get healthy. Congrats to you!! Stay strong!

[JustJenn 542]

Ok so here is my short story long.... My mom had her wls 2 1/2 years ago when she made up her mind to have it I told her she was giving up and that I would not support her. The night before her surgery I showed up to stand my ground and plead my case for her giving up. Needless to say she had it and I stopped talking to her and withheld my newborn baby from her.

I was morbidly obese and full of jealousy and mad for every reason under the sun.

I can't say your sister will come around sooner than later but it's amazing what jealousy can do. I am NOT proud of how I treated my mom and yes, has since sincerely apologized and we are back to being close and yes she is my biggest supporter post op.

reading your comments from your were my words. Give her time to accept it. Don't push the issue and keep doing what your doing. I thank God my mom didn't back out and not go through with it all because of me and stupid rants.

Hang in there!

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

[kparadisek 115]

I feel your pain. I don't want to experience your situation so I opted not to even discuss it with any of my sisters it's enough that I said something to my mom (only because she had it 20 years ago) she recently started walking indoors and has jump started her weight loss again (now I think she's smaller than me) so now she keeps calling me fat then in the next breath she talks about how small I'll be after my surgery so now I'm thinking I won't tell her when its actually done. I think she'll be jealous so I'll keep it between my husband my kids and my BFF. I've never in my life called my mom fat but she doesn't mind calling me fat mind you we are about the same size and I haven't even had the surgery yet. I've got about 3 1/2 months to go before my insurance will approve. Good luck and give her time and space they both are proven to heal all wounds????

[CP3482 55]

I am beyond blessed to have my whole entire family support me! My 7 year old daughter over heard me talking and hugged me and said I love you mom and I'll help you be strong! My family knows how long I've been battling my weight. There is no way I would be able to do it without support. My coworkers are awesome too...

[lolawaiting 83]

My sister is drop dead gorgeous and really turning into a skinny minny. She was fat in high school, but never really obese. She started working out and eating less (not right, she eats horrible foods) and lost tons of weight. She got married, had a baby and has lost even more weight. She really is looking picture perfect and beautiful. She was my number one "I'll support what ever you want, but I think you can do it on your own" person. Every time I changed my mind, it was from her influence. My sis did "do it on her own", but she was never obese like I am. She said she's support for my brother bc he is much bigger than me. My sis has a... lets say sneaky way of saying things at times. Screw it, she can be nasty sometimes. She upsets me and my mom sometimes with the way she says things, but we won't dare say anything to her. She's def the type who would withhold our nephew from us so it's not worth it. Any way I decided to do surgery and she left town with her husband, got mad at my mom cause she wouldn't babysit (I needed help, I was having surgery.) She said she was sorry she couldn't be there and I said it was fine. Didn't think much of it at this point. After surgery I text her to see if she would drive me to my post op appt. She said "of course! We can go out to eat after. hehehe" Maybe it's just the way she is, but I didn't see much humor in it. She would come to visit with my 17 month old nephew and bring him candy bars to eat. Is that what you want your baby eating? I went to my moms for a birthday party today. I'd see her snickering at me and shaking her had as I was sipping Soup, making comments like "oh chocolate cake, I'll have to run an extra mile tomorrow." Maybe it's my own insecurities, I just feel like she's trying to show me what I'm missing out on. Maybe she thinks I'm taking the easy route. That she has worked so hard to get where she is and I'm "cheating." Maybe she thinks she might not be the skinny beautiful one forever (trust me, she always will.) How funny there's so many of us with sister issues lol

[CP3482 55]

I do feel like my best friend is that way.. She's not skinny...she's think in all the right places. She keeps saying I know you can do it on your own, you shouldn't do it... I keep telling her if I could do it on my own I wouldn't be in this situation! Apart of me thinks that she's worried that I'm threatening her "pull". I didn't do this to get a man! But it wouldn't hurt, but that's not my reason..lol...I was always the tag along fat friend to go with her when she went out and now she's not liking me not wanting to go anywhere... I don't know...She does call to see how I am and asked if I wanted to come hang out at her house..It's not as bad as you, but I know she disapproves.

[pookybear 284]

My situation is a little different. My (ex)best friend was extremely supportive, and had the surgery herself this past year. We were supposed to be surgery buddies. Our friendship ended because of her constantly lying to me and doing drugs (yes, post op as well). With my surgery coming up, I just can't have the negativity and stress that the friendship was giving me. It still kills me that I had to cut ties with one of my biggest supporters, but I feel like I really had no other choice. The only real non-supporter is my grandfather. He's just old and set in his ways lol.