Crying! :'(

[lolawaiting 83]

Omg I'm so glad you feel this way... I'm doubting everything I thought I wanted. My surgery is the 29th. I already had my preop and am on a 2 week liquid diet. On day 2, this guy I like says, "can I take you to lunch today?" Ugh. So I lie saying I have plans and instead we talk on the phone at night. It's 9 and he says I'm hungry, meet me at chilis for some appetizers. Nah I'm not hungry I lie. Just a drink then? Just come meet me while I grab something. How do I tell this guy what I'm doing? That I'm on a 2 week liquid diet so I can't go meet him for food cause even the smell would be too much? That even after the 2 weeks I won't be able to meet him for dinner for at least 2 months, the entire courting period of what could be between us? And even after that I'll be eating a chipmunks portion. Am I doing the right thing? Obviously this "real life" isn't working for me, but if I could just eat like I had surgery wo having surgery I'd still lose weight right? And even people who have surgery risk gaining it back if they don't eat right, so why am I doing this again?? I think I have the opposite problem of a lot of people too. I watched an online seminar in October, meet the surgeon oct 30th, went to a one time 2 hour nutrition class, wasnt entirely honest to the therapist during my psych eval (of course I'm depressed- my dad died and I broke up w my bf only a couple months ago), an less than 2 months when the whole journey started I'm having surgery. Shouldn't I be thrilled??