December 2012 Post Op Group

[btb2013 84]

My family was exactly like that. Ate dinner at the dinner table talking and then my world blew apart. I've had 2 surgeries within a month and half; I just went to my house to get the rest of my daughters and my stuff today to learn that my soon to be ex in-laws stole it all (about 20' date='000 in stuff); my husband is living w a Ho; he has broken several parts of the divorce petition, now the restraining order and I don't know if anything will be done about it because as of tight now he is in contempt of the court. My family ate dinner together religiously, most meals were healthy except pizza night.

Now I have a 16yo Jr in HS. That is dual enrolled in college. She is very busy and independent. So sometimes our times don't mesh up. I'm learning to be a single mom; recovering from surgeries and complications from the last one; work and unfortunately w an older teen and 1 parent she sometimes gets hungry before I arrive home or vice versa and if she doesn't want what I made, she can make her own. That is my family now after 22 years of marriage. I hate it but that is my family now.

Gen :-) 12/15/12[/quote']

Yes.... I get that.... My first marriage was a lot like that but I left when my oldest was about 2 1/2-3. I was a single parent though I was married and for awhile during long divorce until I met my current husband. It sucks.... I never had the real support re my health or family time.... And I do now.

By the way my lawyer, got everything she possible could and I got all the physical items as well. So court can order return, via a motion violating terms of pending divorce decisions..... What they did is illegal. They can all be served and held accountable financially and with some jail time if u insist on a bench warrant (especially for him).

Oh and look into women's law center in your area and go with any verbal emotional or physical domestic issues, they will handle ur case for free and work their butts off!

God bless. And remember karma is a _____ . My ex is still paying for it in so many ways that have nothing to do with child support payments or spousal payments...

Hw 245; Pre-Op(RNY) 225.6; Surg Date 2/26; GW 145

[btb2013 84]

When I was in the hospital week ago they did it. I was fuming. I called the cops and they came out and said it is a civil matter so they can't do anything. Monday morn at 8am I will b on my lawyers doorstep. I want all and what ever charge can b brought against them' date=' I'm sure soon to be ex was in on it; during my surgery time he took 3 weeks leave from AF to obviously help. He hasn't been awarded the house as of yet. All contents in side were mine as well as occupancy of the house right now. As of now, the house is mine and my daughters. So other that breaking a restraining order, there is breaking and entrering, violations if court orders. When the cops told me its a civil matter and then asked if there is anything else I needed, I said "a gun w 2 bullets" so yes, I was more than fuming.

Gen :-) 12/15/12[/quote']

Oh and change locks and u keep the keys in case ur he tries to get them from ur daughter.... They get nasty and can be worse than the most vindictive women... Just be focused on ur child and u doing what u need to take care of y'all. Pray and keep moving towards healthy lives inside and out. He will not win. Move with that surety. No need to sink to his level, but u insist on respect and what is rightfully yours...... He WILL get his sweetie..... They always get theirs...

God bless!

Hw 245; Pre-Op(RNY) 225.6; Surg Date 2/26; GW 145

[one4ozzie 434]

That's the thing: I'm so scared he will get away with it all. Cuz sometimes good people still get screwed. Yes I will push any charges I can, even if its jail time. He has put me thru 2 years of hell and for them to wait til I'm at my weakest in the hospital is incomprehensible. I have no idea who would do something like that to some one. He thinks he has the upper hand. But I pray to God that he will get his. All I'm asking for is a break. I want to start living and stop worrying about what he is going to try or do to me next.

My daughter won't even talk to him. She's done w him. As far as she's concerned she no longer has a father cuz that person that was no longer exists. Now her grand parents too after stealing from us. It's a shame after 25 yrs w this man and 22yrs married, he does this to me and his daughter. I don't know who that man is!!!!

Gen :-) 12/15/12

[OleHippieGal 275]

I think we all have our own problems some alike some so different. Hubs and my marriage is like old folks. Been married 13 years haven't had sex in 9 yrs. long story but all we do now is co exist to each other. I don't know what to do about changing it not sure I want to. He is my 3rd marriage and 9 yrs younger then me. He weighs over 400 lbs. and won't do a thing to change it and I don't say anything about it. He is one of those people who think they know everything and knows what to do. All I do is nod my head. Sometimes I think I just want to walk away.

[btb2013 84]

That's the thing: I'm so scared he will get away with it all. Cuz sometimes good people still get screwed. Yes I will push any charges I can' date=' even if its jail time. He has put me thru 2 years of hell and for them to wait til I'm at my weakest in the hospital is incomprehensible. I have no idea who would do something like that to some one. He thinks he has the upper hand. But I pray to God that he will get his. All I'm asking for is a break. I want to start living and stop worrying about what he is going to try or do to me next.

My daughter won't even talk to him. She's done w him. As far as she's concerned she no longer has a father cuz that person that was no longer exists. Now her grand parents too after stealing from us. It's a shame after 25 yrs w this man and 22yrs married, he does this to me and his daughter. I don't know who that man is!!!!

Gen :-) 12/15/12[/quote']

I know. It's disgusting! He will ( vengeance is mine says The Lord) he will not win. Get the lawyer to take care of it. Tell him nothing, give him no power by having negative encounters so he knows he is in your head. No idea what he to,d his parents, but either way they should have stayed out of it. Your Fam is now ur kid and you. Your home starts with God at the root and grows from there. Don't allow the enemy to bring fear of your soon to be ex's winning. It will just cause doubt in yourself and the moves you have to make and the self-esteem you are building and your goals you are committing yourself too. You WILL have it together. You will be the victor, to the victim.

Speak it. Believe it. Then live it. With consistency. No more people in your life that are not pro-you and your future.

Hw 245; Pre-Op(RNY) 225.6; Surg Date 2/26; GW 145

[btb2013 84]

I think we all have our own problems some alike some so different. Hubs and my marriage is like old folks. Been married 13 years haven't had sex in 9 yrs. long story but all we do now is co exist to each other. I don't know what to do about changing it not sure I want to. He is my 3rd marriage and 9 yrs younger then me. He weighs over 400 lbs. and won't do a thing to change it and I don't say anything about it. He is one of those people who think they know everything and knows what to do. All I do is nod my head. Sometimes I think I just want to walk away.

You have to do what's best for you. What you feel you are worthy of having.... live the life you want, it's only yours to live lady.... :-) God bless you sweetie.

Hw 245; Pre-Op(RNY) 225.6; Surg Date 2/26; GW 145

[shaunda 122]

That's the thing: I'm so scared he will get away with it all. Cuz sometimes good people still get screwed. Yes I will push any charges I can' date=' even if its jail time. He has put me thru 2 years of hell and for them to wait til I'm at my weakest in the hospital is incomprehensible. I have no idea who would do something like that to some one. He thinks he has the upper hand. But I pray to God that he will get his. All I'm asking for is a break. I want to start living and stop worrying about what he is going to try or do to me next.

My daughter won't even talk to him. She's done w him. As far as she's concerned she no longer has a father cuz that person that was no longer exists. Now her grand parents too after stealing from us. It's a shame after 25 yrs w this man and 22yrs married, he does this to me and his daughter. I don't know who that man is!!!!

Gen :-) 12/15/12[/quote']

Gen. The best revenge for someone like him is success. Let go of the pain so that GOD can heal you're heart. You have to show your daughter your amazing strength as a strong woman. God will take care of you both. He will also make sure you get the justice you deserve. We are all pulling and praying for both you and your daughter. He's gonna get what's coming to him.

[shaunda 122]

I think we all have our own problems some alike some so different. Hubs and my marriage is like old folks. Been married 13 years haven't had sex in 9 yrs. long story but all we do now is co exist to each other. I don't know what to do about changing it not sure I want to. He is my 3rd marriage and 9 yrs younger then me. He weighs over 400 lbs. and won't do a thing to change it and I don't say anything about it. He is one of those people who think they know everything and knows what to do. All I do is nod my head. Sometimes I think I just want to walk away.

Wow. Stay strong hippie girl. You deserve happiness.

[one4ozzie 434]

I think we all have our own problems some alike some so different. Hubs and my marriage is like old folks. Been married 13 years haven't had sex in 9 yrs. long story but all we do now is co exist to each other. I don't know what to do about changing it not sure I want to. He is my 3rd marriage and 9 yrs younger then me. He weighs over 400 lbs. and won't do a thing to change it and I don't say anything about it. He is one of those people who think they know everything and knows what to do. All I do is nod my head. Sometimes I think I just want to walk away.

I'm sorry to hear that, a person deserves so much more than to just coexist. I'm so happy that you decided to go through w the surgery. In the future it might give you some mental clarity as to what you want and need in a relationship. Maybe he will make changes of his own to meet your needs. But never settle.

Gen :-) 12/15/12

[one4ozzie 434]

I need to thank all of you for listening to me ex issues. It truly helps. For those of you that don't want to hear it, then please just skip over my posts.

It wasn't an easy situation to start, and he keeps making it more difficult. He is digging a hole for himself.

Thank you everyone for your support.

Gen :-) 12/15/12

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Did you get the Protein list from DL coggin. It's lists fast food stuff. Give me your email and I will send it to you.

DOS 12/17/12

Can you send it to me when you get a chance??? Christiemr@aol.com

Thank you!!!!!!

HW 312, pre-op (lap-band) 294, pre-op (RNY) 255, surgery date 2/11/13, goal weight 154, current weight 234.8

[tnnorton 12]

At my last appointment I was told by both my nurse pract and NUT that if I don't get enough Protein and liquid' date=' it would cause a greater Hair loss, and at 4-6 weeks it is about the time when it begins. If you are not already, start taking Biotin. You can also use Shampoo and conditioner with biotin, or hair products specifically made for hair loss. They sell them at salons and beauty supply places. Not sure how often you wash your hair or if that effects the hair loss, but you can lesson the pulling on your hair by brushing it out using a large wide toothed comb starting from the bottom of the strands, working your way to the top of your head. Using heat on it less such as blow dryers, straightners and curling irons also helps keep hair healthy.

I know it's stressful, and I may need you to point my own post out to me when I start going through this, but try not to stress about it too much because that will also make it worse. You can always change your hairstyle, and I was told it does grow back. Sorry you're going through this, it's one of the side affects I'm most scared of-mine is already fine.[/quote']

Thank ypu

[tnnorton 12]

At my last appointment I was told by both my nurse pract and NUT that if I don't get enough Protein and liquid' date=' it would cause a greater Hair loss, and at 4-6 weeks it is about the time when it begins. If you are not already, start taking Biotin. You can also use Shampoo and conditioner with biotin, or hair products specifically made for hair loss. They sell them at salons and beauty supply places. Not sure how often you wash your hair or if that effects the hair loss, but you can lesson the pulling on your hair by brushing it out using a large wide toothed comb starting from the bottom of the strands, working your way to the top of your head. Using heat on it less such as blow dryers, straightners and curling irons also helps keep hair healthy.

I know it's stressful, and I may need you to point my own post out to me when I start going through this, but try not to stress about it too much because that will also make it worse. You can always change your hairstyle, and I was told it does grow back. Sorry you're going through this, it's one of the side affects I'm most scared of-mine is already fine.[/quote']

Thank you!! This helps a lot and so has all of the other posts!! It's hard not to stress about it, but I'm trying my best!!!

[tnnorton 12]

What mcg do you take everyday of Biotin?

Gen :-) 12/15/12

My doctor said 5000mcg.

[tnnorton 12]

Did you get the Protein list from DL coggin. It's lists fast food stuff. Give me your email and I will send it to you.

DOS 12/17/12

Can I get a copy too?? nnorton@jcpsmail.org?? Thanks!!!