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So I have always had better work relationships with older women. I have this really good work friend (older lady) and knows all about my journey and post op struggles and achievements. She has been amazing. She has recently started complaining about her weight, noticing now her cloths don't fit as comfortably anymore, how she is out of breath from the stairs, how she needs to "start doing something"

Here is my dilemma... She brought me a cupcake!!!! A cupcake for crying out loud! She even called me to ask if I loved it, it's her new recipe! I took a small bite and said it was delicious (it was!) but really? I threw the cupcake away and covered it with paper.

I think our good friendship just ended. Time of death: 8:30 am pst :(

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

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My mom always cook special meals for us and she didn't know how to still do something special. I asked her to make me things with fruit or sugar free or with Splenda. A month after surgery my sister in law bought us a Carrabbas gift card! She said she just totally forgot. I think we have to remember its a adjustment for everyone.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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Well, maybe she was just being kind. I know I have had a hard time not rewarding people with food. I would give her one more chance, she does it again and then I would be done.

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Great point! I didn't think of it as an adjustment for anyone else besides myself. Should cut her some slack. :)

Thanks!

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

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Us older ones always have a hard time... Hell my daughter was having a bad day and I almost said let's go get a milkshake ... Just like we have always done... I'm glad you are giving her another chance.

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Talked her and I feel bad now. She thought since it was a cupcake and not a big ol piece of cake I could eat it. Honest mistake

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

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Talked her and I feel bad now. She thought since it was a cupcake and not a big ol piece of cake I could eat it. Honest mistake

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

Bless her heart she meant well. I started to say it will just take time, but you know what, I don't think anyone, except those who have or are going through this can truly understand. And well meaning people are going to try to comfort us with food, it is such a natural thing to do. Some people are just insensitive and rude, but most just don't understand. Hugs to you,

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I'm glad to hear you talked to your co-worker. It's always better to say how you feel rather than make assumptions. Now her eyes have been opened and you have maintained your valuable relationship. Way to go!

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Glad you are giving her a chance.

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