Sex before marriage?

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

What I'd like to get across to those of you who think sex is fine, whenever, with whoever, for whatever reason -- that's fine for YOU!

Who on here said that sex is fine whenever, with whoever, for whatever reason? Someone who would say that may have a bit of an issue.

Why does the "whenever, whoever, whatever" person have an issue? What's the problem with that philosophy? Sex is fun, it doesn't need to be confined to marriage, and there's nothing wrong with multiple partners . . . at least that's what most people here are saying . . . what am I missing?

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

Someone brought up the point about Europe being more permissive of nudity than the US. I think it's very, very interesting to point out that the more permissive the society, the lower the rates of teenage sexual activity, teenage pregnancy, abortion, and rape are.
The more restrictive the society, the higher the rates of violent sexual crimes are.

Just talk to anyone who comes from the highly religious and restrictive "third world" about their rates of child molestation for example!

As natural, normal views of sexuality increase, sex crimes go down. As restrictive, religious, and antiquated views increase, sex crimes go up, way up.

Did anyone see the news today about the international child porn ring that was just busted? It was based in Europe. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17022345/

lisah25 · February 7, 2007

Why does the "whenever, whoever, whatever" person have an issue? What's the problem with that philosophy? Sex is fun, it doesn't need to be confined to marriage, and there's nothing wrong with multiple partners . . . at least that's what most people here are saying . . . what am I missing?

I think you are making this too much a black and white thing. Yes, there are people out there who don't think sex is much more then a fun biological function. That is fine to do whenever, whoever, whatever. There are those who believe you should only have one partner, your spouse after marriage.

And in between is a spectrum of people basically who think sex is OK within a relationship, but don't define that as marriage. What they do define as a relationship may vary of course, but it's not just one or the other.

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

I think you are making this too much a black and white thing. Yes, there are people out there who don't think sex is much more then a fun biological function. That is fine to do whenever, whoever, whatever. There are those who believe you should only have one partner, your spouse after marriage.
And in between is a spectrum of people basically who think sex is OK within a relationship, but don't define that as marriage. What they do define as a relationship may vary of course, but it's not just one or the other.

I agree with you! I was just astounded by the claim that the people who espouse the "whever, whoever, whatever" have a problem -- especially from someone who says that the people who believe in abstinence have a problem.

Sunta · February 7, 2007

Why does the "whenever, whoever, whatever" person have an issue? What's the problem with that philosophy? Sex is fun, it doesn't need to be confined to marriage, and there's nothing wrong with multiple partners . . . at least that's what most people here are saying . . . what am I missing?

Well I think that most people would view a "healthy" view of sexuality to be sex that takes place responsibly, and not say, unprotected with someone has HIV.

Or with someone who is underage, or with say, your best friend's husband. That kind of thing.

"Whenever, whoever, whatever" is a decidedly irresponsible-sounding mantra when it comes to sex. One would hope that the majority of people take the appropriate precautions and responsibilities and not completely throw caution to the wind, which can result in many long term and unpleasant consequences.

That being said, it is not my position to judge the person that adopts that thinking, but I would think they may face issues down the road if they take a completely irresponsible attitude.

Sunta · February 7, 2007

Did anyone see the news today about the international child porn ring that was just busted? It was based in Europe. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17022345/

I didn't say Europe has no sex crime, I said it has a lower sex crime rate than the United States.

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

We define healthy and responsible differently. And I recognize that it is everyone's right to define it however they'd like.

lisah25 · February 7, 2007

Did anyone see the news today about the international child porn ring that was just busted? It was based in Europe. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17022345/
I didn't say Europe has no sex crime, I said it has a lower sex crime rate than the United States.

"VIENNA, Austria - Austrian authorities said Wednesday they have uncovered a major international child pornography ring involving more than 2,360 suspects from 77 countries, including hundreds in the United States, who paid to view videos of young children being sexually abused."

The suspects were from all over. Most seem to be Americans, followed by Germans then French, at least based on the numbers in the article. Countries from Algeria to South Africa were involved, as well as Russia.

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

When I look at the world around me, I see sex crime increases as promiscuity increases. In the US, Europe, Africa, Canada, South America, and everywhere else.

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

"VIENNA, Austria - Austrian authorities said Wednesday they have uncovered a major international child pornography ring involving more than 2,360 suspects from 77 countries, including hundreds in the United States, who paid to view videos of young children being sexually abused."
The suspects were from all over. Most seem to be Americans, followed by Germans then French, at least based on the numbers in the article. Countries from Algeria to South Africa were involved, as well as Russia.

That's what I said. In international ring based in Austria. And since the population of the US is larger by just a smidge than Germany or Austria, one would expect the US offenders to be greater in quantity. I suppose we could do a statistical analysis of offenders to population. I also think the article highlighted the number of Americans because it is broadcast to an American audience.

green · February 7, 2007

If your parents didn't have a problem with it and didn't teach you to have a problem with it, why were you horribly embarrassed?

Oh, as for that, my parents were both Europeans but I was a stolid little Canadian girl, a product of my own culture in many ways, and this was the early 1960s.

gadgetlady · February 7, 2007

Fascinating webpage about rapes per capita by country. Of course, as with all statistics, easily manipulated and can be skewed by underreporting, definition of rape, etc. -- but still interesting:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_rap_percap-crime-rapes-per-capita

Sunta · February 7, 2007

When I look at the world around me, I see sex crime increases as promiscuity increases.

Really??? Shall we get into a discussion of the rape rates in Darfur, a country of devout Muslims? Do you think their society advocates promiscuity?

Shall we talk about child sex slaves in Iran, or what's happening in Utah today with devout religious people forcing innocent young girls to marry against their will?

No, it's not promiscuity that causes an increase in sex crimes, it's fundamentalism.

green · February 7, 2007

I am amazed at how everyone is jumping to the conclusion that my friend's dear, dear 10YO boy doesn't respect women because he doesn't ogle them. This boy is incredibly kind and respectful, and his mother is not teaching him that the human body is dirty or sinful. She is teaching him that it is not for public consumption. AND she is teaching him to respect not only women, but all human beings of all sizes, shapes, and shades.
.

I think what concerned some of us was that this woman was telling the child that he must not look whenever some underdressed babe wanders by. This kinda puts the female body under the category of a taboo object and thus freights it with more emotional weight than it might otherwise have had. Certainly the child is not going to feel comfortable around young women nor take them for granted as, well, part of the landscape. Indeed, it is my opinion that once they are designated as taboo they will become more erotically charged.

anonemouse · February 7, 2007

I think I am going to agree with Sunta. Rape and other sex crimes aren't about sex, they are about men having power over their victim. Since many fundamentalist religions emphasize men's power over women, I would imagine that sex crimes also increase in those areas.