TryingtobeSuperwoman 17 Posted October 25, 2012 Sadly, I lost a friend today. She didn't die, but our friendship did. I received a text from her a little while ago informing me that our friendship brought her too much sadness. Now I will attest to the fact that I have been difficult to plan outings with in recent months. I have tried hard to be a good friend. This is the second friend to drop me post RNY. It's only been four months. Am I going to lose more? Have you guys experienced this? Wow, what a crappy day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
foxy747 11 Posted October 25, 2012 Wow thats just awful and with due respect there not genuine friends. With this weight loss and the new life your gonna get you will find new friends. Good luck with the new life 1 babygirl901 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vicki Loichinger 444 Posted October 25, 2012 Wow, Hate to hear this. I am hoping to make friends not lose any. Most of my "friends" are family. I think they are stuck with me. But I do think my poor health over the years has caused me to stay away from people and events and you do lose contact with a lot of people. I want that to change, I want to go to the things I am invited to (provided I want to, don't want to feel I HAVE to) I want to make new friends. I am hoping the same for you, I wish you the best and hope your life is filled with joy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slowtogo 301 Posted October 25, 2012 Sadly, I have lost a few. And those did a pretty good job of ripping my heart out as well. But-let's face it. We drastically change, and I do mean drastically. Friends are often based on similar interests, regardless what they might've been. We change. It's not surprising that some relationships do as well. 1 Vicki Loichinger reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kristy3k 1,133 Posted October 26, 2012 I have lost a few. I am more active now and I think they liked having the fat grumpy friend around that was always ready to bitch and complain with and Im just not that way anymore. But am happier now then with all that weight...which includes my not so true friends. 1 slowtogo reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jennamommy 80 Posted October 26, 2012 If people are not going to love you for who you are and what you are going through then maybe it's time for them to move on. You deserve to be loved by friends unconditionally in your life no matter the circumstances. There are times and seasons for friends. But the good ones will live you forever and that's who you need to surround your self with. I say there loss. I'm sorry you have so much hurt. Focus and you and being the best you can. That's what matters most right now. 1 Jerrie Ann reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted October 26, 2012 I haven't lost! I have my limited friends & they are thin. Very supported but I'm the only housewife so we don't have that big bond to have cafe or go out. I'm sorry you lost your friend. Everything in life isn't eating out & having drinks. A friend should be there in good times & bad times. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexycanadian 3 Posted October 26, 2012 I have lost my boyfriend before surgery and also sadly a few family members that didn't support my surgery . I took it very bad at first BUT I do have another circle of friends that are great supporters and have help me get true this. All I could say is don't worry about the friends that you lost if they where real friends they would have been there for you. If they don't support you that mean that they don't deserve your friendship. 1 TinyMamiOf3kids reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jerrie Ann 57 Posted October 26, 2012 I lost a friend. At least she used to be....when I was no longer her fat friend that made her feel thin, she began to show her true colors....I decided that I didn't need people in my life who couldn't support me on the basis that I was their token fat friend! My true friends have always supported me through "thick" & "thin"!! my superpower is...... 3 TinyMamiOf3kids, bariatric op number 4 and PaulB reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted October 26, 2012 I have lost my boyfriend before surgery and also sadly a few family members that didn't support my surgery . I took it very bad at first BUT I do have another circle of friends that are great supporters and have help me get true this. All I could say is don't worry about the friends that you lost if they where real friends they would have been there for you. If they don't support you that mean that they don't deserve your friendship. Agree Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280 Posted October 26, 2012 I lost a friend. At least she used to be....when I was no longer her fat friend that made her feel thin' date=' she began to show her true colors....I decided that I didn't need people in my life who couldn't support me on the basis that I was their token fat friend! My true friends have always supported me through "thick" & "thin"!! my superpower is......[/quote'] Was your ex friend thin? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jerrie Ann 57 Posted October 26, 2012 Was your ex friend thin? Yes. Apparently, I became some kind of threat after surgery! my superpower is...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TryingtobeSuperwoman 17 Posted October 28, 2012 Thanks to each of you ... I am incredibly appreciative of the ability to vent as well as educate myself in this space. I'm even more appreciative of your support. 2 juditha and Jerrie Ann reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
michelecaples 224 Posted October 28, 2012 Sadly' date=' I lost a friend today. She didn't die, but our friendship did. I received a text from her a little while ago informing me that our friendship brought her too much sadness. Now I will attest to the fact that I have been difficult to plan outings with in recent months. I have tried hard to be a good friend. This is the second friend to drop me post RNY. It's only been four months. Am I going to lose more? Have you guys experienced this? Wow, what a crappy day.[/quote'] Your true friends will begin to shine through and the others are most likely jealous or cant get with the non food outings. Many overweight friends may feel judged like you dont like being big, so if they are big you mudt not like them. The new you will have true friends . 2 Vicki Loichinger and TinyMamiOf3kids reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PaulB 346 Posted October 28, 2012 I can live wit not being the fat friend. And to hell with the people that want to keep you that way. What a bunch of shallow minded people that inhabit this world. Could we all go back to caring about one another. Uninformed people make me sad Surgery Anniversary 7/30/12 2 TinyMamiOf3kids and Vicki Loichinger reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites