How Do You Stay Positive When Everyone Is So Negative..

[destineex33 22]

So I found out that i was approved recently.. bringing up lots of conversations about my surgery.. I've discovered a lot of people are saying negative things to me

For example:

Your tattoos are going to look bad

you are going to get too skinny and look gross

you are going to lose alllllll your boobs and all your butt

you are going to look gross because you will have extra skin

you might die

it's dangerous

i don't think you should

" i know this person who got it and regretted it because she looks bad"

So my question is.. How do i stay positive. All the things they say run through my mind and bring me down majorly. Of course all of this IS a concern of mine.. and them reminding me about it constantly is completely ruining the mood..

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I'm sorry your getting negative feedback from people. Getting too skinny & losing your boobs & butt & the lose skin I heard it's true & some ladies here are experiencing all that but it sure doesn't mean your gonna be gross looking. I lost 60 pounds. My arms are saggy now but if I ask others they say oh no it's not bad at all. Maybe it's in my mind. Lost a little boob from 40d to 38d. You can't really tell. My butt I see it the same might look smaller because I'm a smaller package now. No more plus size. Tummy tuck~boob lift~ arm lift after 2 years are in planning. I'm not rich but when you want something go for it.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

P.s. Don't listen to stupid ppl or comments. Stay strong & you will be a great success.

[Kerri1503 48]

I wouldn't talk to them about it anymore. Most people look at us as fat lazy people looking for an easy way out and this is not the case. This is going to be hard work. I have not been open about it to some people. If you don't want people to know just tell them you're having your gallbladder removed. But again I wouldn't discuss it with anyone who has shown a negative response. Bottom line this surgery is for you and those you need to live for. Get on here everytime you are feeling down from those around you. it does help!

[destineex33 22]

thank you! Everyone keeps telling me i'm " not big enough" i'm 5'2 and i weigh 250 pounds.. what are they talking bout.. hahaha. & if i wasn't "big enough" i would have never got approved. I really don't care what i lose. I want to be confident. I want to be able to go shopping without being in tears because i hate how EVERYTHING looks on me.

[Kerri1503 48]

I am also 5'2" and 247. The first time I talked to someone outside my family about the surgery I was told I was not obese. I was like. HELLO!!! Yes, girls I work with look at me funny because I don't like going shopping. Well hell, I can't buy anything I like because it won't fit.

[slowtogo 301]

Some like us to stay fat because it makes them feel superior to us. I don't think it really is because they worry about us. Our spouses don't want to have to compete with others. Our friends like that we aren't competition.

[JustJenn 542]

I know its hard to stay focused on the positive part, especially when we know we need it. My aunt is my negative person... I didn't tell her I was having it until I was 2 weeks out by then she had already seen me twice and had made comments about how I looked and I was able to blow it off like I look the same lol. now that she knows she will make the comments about how my arms will look, my butt, my boobs... I tell her I'm fine with my outcome as long as feel healthy.

Some people don't want us to be happy and healthy and feel as confident in whatever we wear! keep your chin up and your smile and if you're ready for your body to change them no matter what they say it doesn't change one thing.

Surgery 7/25/12

[kristy3k 1,133]

I havent really had an experience with anyone being negative. But the positive comments once you start losing weight will be off the chart. Focus on the future. The negative people right now arent worth taking up rent in your head.

[4Kimmy2 56]

It goes back to when your a little kid never let someones negative, rude and mean words get to you. They are just words and should go in 1 ear and right out the other ear. I don't tell a lot of people because its none of their business, they are not me, and i'm not intrested in their comments. You have to choose if this journey is for you. I researched about having surgery for over 2 years before I made my decision. I'm having lap band on Tuesday and i'm excited for my loosing journey. If you have questions ask and there are many wonderful people who will help you get answers. In the end the only person who has the decision for you is YOU!! Good luck with your decision and do not let anyone tell you what to do or not to do because its your health and your body

[kfgodfrey 1]

I am about 5'2" , I was about 270 before surgery and I had a mixed bag of comments pre surgery. I had a gastric by pass in 2008 and I can tell you that it was the best decision I ever made. Where I work now it is becoming the trend as several other women at my company have followed suit and have had the surgery too. There are 2 more that having it done on October 1st & 2nd those of us that have had the surgery are fully supporting them There is one girl I work with who had the surgery in 2010 and she had issues after her surgery that were not directly caused by the surgery but the surgery only complicated them so she had 3 surgeries in a row. But she would do the surgery again in a heart beat because nothing feels as good as when you get into a size you have never wore in your life. I lost125 lbs and could still stand to lose more but I was a diabetic with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, as well as sleep apnea, acid reflux and had my left knee replaced, all from being obese. I do not have any of these now and it is so good to have your doctor be proud of your blood work. This surgery will change your life but a good support system will do you the best of anything and beside you are doing this for yourself. Some people also say yougainall your weight back but I only gained about 20 lbs and I am working on losing them again.

[Bert_n_ernie 60]

I had all of those comments as well. I didn't let them get to me. My grandmother has always been my biggest nay sayer. She used to get a kick out of telling people I was a gentle giant. She tried her damndest to talk me out of it. Then I dealt with my vain twig sister, she makes digs at me & my other sisters who also have weight problems. She revels in us being overweight. When I was skinnier than her as a teenager she used to call me lard butt & pizza face. She cannot stand other people being thin because it will take the attention off of her. She's 6 ft 165 lbs and constantly talks about how fat she is. So, basically what I'm getting at is, people like this can't stand to see you succeed. So, go forward, rock the new you, & finally shut the nay sayers up. There's always going to be negative people in life, don't let them stop you. I also had a few people tell me "i know this person that regrets having it" I've never met a regretful bypass veteran & I guarantee I know more of them than they do. If you do get to feeling down, log on here & we'll pick you right back up.

New Life Started 07/24/12

[Debbe 14]

It's unfortunate that people are so negative about WLS. I think ignorance plays a big part in that. What I can't stand are the people who say, oh just diet, just exercise it will come off, or you just don't have he will power to do it. These ate the people who have never had a weight issue. Don't they think we've done all that. I have been eased by having such a fantastic supportive church family.. They're all rooting for me.. They want to see me healthy and that's the most important part, who cares about saggy skin, boobs and butts?! I tell my sons, I would rather be healthy and saggy than fat and unhealthy. That the bottom line. We have done this for ourselves and our health not anyone else and their negative self serving comments. Stay away from people who drag you down!!

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

[Lebim 381]

So I found out that i was approved recently.. bringing up lots of conversations about my surgery.. I've discovered a lot of people are saying negative things to me

For example:

Your tattoos are going to look bad

you are going to get too skinny and look gross

you are going to lose alllllll your boobs and all your butt

you are going to look gross because you will have extra skin

you might die

it's dangerous

i don't think you should

" i know this person who got it and regretted it because she looks bad"

So my question is.. How do i stay positive. All the things they say run through my mind and bring me down majorly. Of course all of this IS a concern of mine.. and them reminding me about it constantly is completely ruining the mood..

Just about all of us have experienced negative reactions and comments from those who we expect to be supportive (friends & family) and what it comes down to is they often do not know what they're talking about and are not looking at the whole picture. Only you know what's best for you. I'd rather have loose skin and no butt/boobs than diabetes and high blood pressure and hell... be fat! Too skinny looks better than too fat. 99% of people who have negative opinions about something that is meant to make you healthy are absolutely ignorant

- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgiversary: 6/11/12

[Lebim 381]

Oh, and by the way, all those people who said nasty shit to me about my decision are the same people who are now saying "omg you look so much thinner omg what a difference omg you're skin and hair looks great omgomgomg"

- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgiversary: 6/11/12