female only My Daughter Made Me Cry.

[Bert_n_ernie 60]

My 7 year old is emotionally disabled. She has disruptive behavior disorder. She's extremely smart and creative, she can be a sweetheart when she wants. Most of the time she chooses to be pissed at the world for no reason whatsoever. She literally sits and thinks of ways to hurt peoples feelings. She hit dead on with me today. She had to draw a family picture today. 6 stick people with minimal detail. Then me. Compared to the others I am a giant. I have huge balloon hands and each hand has huge balloon fingers. She handed it to me, I smiled and said "that's cute" she said, "you really are that fat you know." Before my surgery she never commented on my size, now she tells me atleast 3 times a day how fat I am.

She's 7. 7! 7 year olds are supposed to be sweet and innocent, not malicious and conniving. Nobody has ever been mean or insulting to her. How did she get this way? Even as a baby she was impossible to make happy. She is in counseling but I just don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end with her. It's ridiculous that I have to guard myself against my 7 year old because she loves to and is very good at hurting people's feelings. She's so freaking smart, I just wish she used her abilities more positively.

She's nice and sweet when I'm doing to please her but the second I slip she immediately goes for the kill shot.

Sorry I'm rambling, I just needed to vent.

New Life Started 07/24/12

[Vicki Loichinger 444]

That is tough. I just don't know what to say. But vent away. And I know easier said then done, but try not

to take it to heart or let it get to you too much. But even as I type that it sounds hollow. Big Gentle Hugs

Vicki

[chaotica 96]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with such an uphill battle. My second daughter has sensory integration disorder, and a little bit of an emotional issue. She can be very sweet, but I'd she gets in trouble for something, she gets pissed at the world and her brothers and sisters end up in a fight with her, because she snaps on one of them. She tries really hard to be sweet and kind, but when she feels wronged, she changes. It's hard when they don't know how to deal with all the complex emotions. I don't know what I would have done in your situation. My children deal with old school discipline when it comes to respect. I also have little tolerance for a child who tries to illicit a reaction for attention. In your place, I most likely would have smiled and said " oh you must have worked so hard on this, and ripped it up in front of her face, thrown it out and walked away without letting her see my hurt or anger. Then I would have sent her to bed. I know some people would say that's mean, but if a child hurts someone's feelings for their pleasure, a little of that bitter pill would have been just the medicine. It's so rough when you love your children to do something that might hurt them in any way, but there are times when the only way they'll learn is when they know how it feels. Hang in there, I know it's hard, but things will work out. *hugs*

[Bert_n_ernie 60]

My daughter would make a wonderful interrogator. It's like she has this radar that hones in on people's weak points. Then she targets them. She's wonderful at getting inside people's heads and making them squirm. I think she did it today because I was busy all weekend and didn't have time to play like I usually do. So, she retaliated in the only way she knows to hurt me. It is definitely an uphill battle that probably won't ever end. She's so manipulative and analytical. She's to the point that she's on a mental health waiver. That means that regardless of our income, the state gives her insurance so that she's guaranteed to get all the psych help she needs. She has group therapy before and after school, 4 days a week. Attendant care twice a week (a lady goes to class with her) then once a week (more if needed) a woman comes to the house to work with her. Then once a week she visits her counselor.

She's a holy terror to my 10 & 5 year old daughters but she would give her life for the twins. The twins are 1 1/2. They are her babies, she would do anything for them. That bond is what gives me hope. I want to bawl every time I see the twins run to her and tackle her. It shows that even if she puts on a rough shell, she has a heart of pure gold under there. She didn't even get mad when they pooped on her. *sigh* thanks for letting me vent.

New Life Started 07/24/12

[Tammy483 162]

I'm sorry I have no advice, all I can say is that would have been really painful.. I'm sorry. Will say a prayer for her

[JustJenn 542]

Please vent away. We all have our daily struggles, and reading yours pulls at mt heart. I don't have any advise, but keep venting here. Let us emotionally hold you up.

Will be praying for you & your daughter.

Surgery 7/25/12

[kristy3k 1,133]

Jenn hit the nail on the head about the way most of us feel. Its heartbreaking to be sure and most of us cant relate but we are here for you every step of the way. Vent away girlie!!! You look amazing.. and I am so proud of how far you have come!!!

[innerelease 32]

I am so very sorry. The only advice I can think of is about that drawing..... Don't let it get to you so much, soon you'll be a stick figure too :)

[slowtogo 301]

My adopted 16 year old son is in a psyche ward and has been since before my surgery. I have lost about 90lbs, since I saw him. We went to see him over labor day weekend. Previously, he told someone he hated fat people.

Well...he said not a word about my weight loss, and actually told me I was getting fat when he pinched the underside of my arms.

People can be cruel. Some don't want us to get healthy. Some don't want us to be happy. We just have to walk away and try not to let those nasty comments hurt us. We are on the right path even if they don't see it. (hugs)

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I'm a mother of 2 special needs children. My 4 year old started the bad behavior of hitting her older sister 15 years old & well everyone except me. I'm the tough parent & I turn tv off~send her to room or scare her with hitting her with the slipper it's a Dominican/Spanish thing I guess. She gives no issues in school. I would send your baby girl to her bed no tv or time out. Kids needs to know parents are the boss we are in control. You vent away. We are here you make you feel better. Keep your pretty head up & don't let your baby girl get the best of you.

[Bert_n_ernie 60]

She has no clue the picture bothered me the way it did. I have learned from the past not to show it. I'm pretty strict on actions/consequences. No tv, no outside play, no friends over etc.. she gets rewarded for good behavior, punished for bad.

I've definitely got my work cut out for me. ADHD & Bipolar run in both mine and my husbands families very strongly. So far out of my 5 kids 3 have issues. 10 year old is ADHD, 7 y.o. you know about, 5 y.o. we are having her assessed for ADHD (pretty sure that's it) she's one wild kid and has zero regard for others personal boundaries to include total strangers. Twins, I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm convinced its all the steroids and preservatives in our foods today.

Another theory I have on Hannah (7 y.o.) is that she has these problems because her twin didn't live. I lost her twin @ 28 weeks. It never crossed my mind until I had Lilee & Rowan. It's like they have a gravitational pull towards each other. Maybe that bond being lost is why Hannah is so off kilter.

New Life Started 07/24/12

[Bert_n_ernie 60]

My adopted 16 year old son is in a psyche ward and has been since before my surgery. I have lost about 90lbs' date=' since I saw him. We went to see him over labor day weekend. Previously, he told someone he hated fat people.

Well...he said not a word about my weight loss, and actually told me I was getting fat when he pinched the underside of my arms.

People can be cruel. Some don't want us to get healthy. Some don't want us to be happy. We just have to walk away and try not to let those nasty comments hurt us. We are on the right path even if they don't see it. (hugs)[/quote']

I'm so sorry. *hugs*

New Life Started 07/24/12

[Bert_n_ernie 60]

Thank you all for your encouragement and support. It really helps to have people to talk to. I truly appreciate it, and the more people praying the better.

New Life Started 07/24/12

[kiwiladydee 402]

Wow. You are really in a tough situation! I have to congratulate you on getting her as much help and necessary care as possible. It seems like you are a great mom doing all you can!!

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

[melonpie05 99]

So glad I read this thread true blessings to everyone with special needs children my son is 3 and has yet to be diagnosed with anything but we def have behavioral probs in our household I had to quite my job almost 2 years ago to stay home with him Bc he had over 250 incident reports in daycare they refused to keep him being a liability pretty much he bites everyone including himself he was slow with speech do they blamed it on that I had him evaluated at 1 they said autism no way we all sated while in the mean time I had wrap around services since he was 1 20 hours a week exhausting yes had him evaluated at 2 they said sensory issues and prob ADHD but can't diagnose or medicate until 3 or 5 in some cases will he goes back sept 18 and I hope I get some solid answers Bc he's getting extreme he was around teenagers I was there with family they were saying very volgur stuff well sure enough it's branded in his mind and his favorite things to say are hate u f**k bitch and so on also spits and hurts me I'm truly fed up I'm the boss and I show him but y isn't he getting it he as well is super intelligent can already start to read and count he has meltdowns over everything and I look like a parent who has no structure in our life at all which is not the case he doesn't care if tv is taken away his iPod or toys he has destroyed my house in tantrums literally pulled the door off hinges Bc it wouldn't open pushed a dresser over with tv on it thank god it didn't hurt him in scared for his future I have to get this under control before its to late if u can't tell today was a horrible day for him and this is the mess I came out to when hanging clothes up