Hi, Newbie Here

[JustJenn 542]

Welcome! Can't wait to hear more!

[NancyW 16]

Thank you everyone!!!

Butterfly66...I was walking around the house the other day singing a song from the Disney movie Mulan..."Who is that girl I see, starring straight back at me? When will my reflection show, someone OTHER then who I used to be?!" Sometimes I look in the mirror and think 'who is that?' Other times...I see the old me. I find that losing weight so fast and so drastic has been and still is a huge mind game. But do I regret? Not for a single moment. The BEST decision I have ever made. It was life saving. I remember after I lost the weight we were moving and I was running in and out of the house box after box up and down 2 flights of stairs when my (then) 12 year old daughter said "Mom, don't you EVER get tired?" I looked at her and smiled and yelled "NO!" lol!

Tell your daughter to never look back, don't let anything scare her and don't worry about anything but how healthy and happy she will be after this is all done. *hugs* to her. Life WILL change, some will be hard to except, sorry but thats the truth, but nonetheless, it will all be worth it. My surgery and recovery were more difficult then most, I had a lot of complications and was sick for months. I don't personally know anyone, even in my support groups, who had as bad a time as I, yet I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ok, so here is blog number 2: thanks for the support everyone! My story continues...

Posted Jan 27, 2011

I wasn’t big into trying all the fad diets. I never even gave them a thought. After all, I was the picture of health and therefore knew what would work and what wouldn’t. Oh come on now, you don’t have to be healthy to know fad diets are not the answer.

But neither is surgery. I’m just oh so high and mighty that I knew surgery was a quick fix. If I said it once I said it a million times “if you can’t learn to eat right and exercise, the surgery won’t help.” Ya, I said with a piece of cake in fron of me. But I still maintain I’m right about that. I scoffed at people who had it done. Most of course putting the weight back on. I did the research. I knew the statistics. Big fat waste of time I told myself. Speaking of big and fat…

My diabetes was getting worse. I found myself back on insulin which wasn’t even helping anymore. My diabetes was also bringing other problems now. One morning I woke up and saw these blood red marks on my lower legs. I had no idea what they were. By the time I got out of the shower they were hurting. I mean HURTING! Well that started what was 6 months of hell. Drs, hospitals, specialists, I saw them all and yet knew nothing. The pain was 24/7, it reached a point where the pain was either tolerable or intolerable, but always there. I spent a couple of months on crutches, always fun. The “wounds” puffed up, eventually broke as blood oozed out. Oh so that’s what was in them! One morning I woke up screaming. I was in pain that was just above and beyond. It turned out one of my wounds was infected. Badly. So, again to the Dr., hospital, specialists, MRIs, X-rays, wound specialists. During all this, I got really sick. I was throwing up for 5 days until the Dr. put me in the hospital because I had become dehydrated. While I was there they told me my blood work had shown I had a massive infection completely throughout me.. Life was fun! But eventually it all subsided and went away. I was left with some scars but that was a small price to pay considering what could have happened. This past October suddenly I saw them start again. Panic set in. Sure enough, it started all over again.

At this point I knew it was time to see my Dr. to discuss my health. The condition I had with my legs turned out to be a diabetes related disease. My numers were over 500. That’s when he dropped the bomb. “Nancy, I think it’s time you had bariatric surgery.” I could barely hear him as he went on and on about its not what it once was, the statistics have improved, higher success rate blah, blah, blah. I started to feel sick. He can’t be serious. He told me that with my health issues I was a prime candidate and the insurance company would easily cover it. He told me where to start. I started by going home and wondering what to do.

I thought about it so much. Well, it WOULD help with a life threatening disease. Life without all my medical problems? Sweet. Was there maybe a part of me that thought, wow, wouldn’t it be nice to look better too? I tried to suppress those thoughts. That made me as bad as all the “others”, didn’t it? My ex-husband and I talked about it incessantly. He thought it was a good idea. I kept thinking about those statistics again. What was it I once heard? 1 in 300 people DIE from it? Well with my luck, I would be the 1. But the ex said we should at least head to the hospitals seminar and hear them out.

So off to St. Luke’s Bariatric Hospital in Allentown we went.

Thats all for now. And I haven't even been to the seminar yet LOL!

Have a great day everyine and thanks for reading and the kind words

btw... yes I like posting pics, I think they make the most dramatic statement. Quick story...I ride a motorcycle and this summer my husband and I took a trip up the Delaware Scenic Byway, a great run along the Delaware river on the PA/NY border. But I had taken the same run a year before the surgery. This is me, the same exact spot in 2010 and now in 2012

.

[lovealways 287]

If you love writing as much as I do...you can create a blog here! I have, and it helps me greatly on my journey towards RnY in a few months. Welcome! You'll absolutely fall in love with this group! It's addicting though, so just watch out! Lol

[soontobehealthymom 104]

Loved reading this!! I would love to read more! I wonder, does everyone keep some sort of journal about their expirence?

[NancyW 16]

I found that for me, it was theraputic. I have always stood by my philosophy that no one, other then those who have taken this journey, can even begin to understand what its like. I journaled to give my family a tiny glimpse of what I went through, of how I was feeling through all of this. Well and I love to write lol.

As I read back I find that so many things I felt then, I still struggle with today. I sometimes wonder if this journey ever ends, or you just keep marching....regardless, I think I'll keep marching

Posted January 29, 2011

So my ex and I walked into the seminar, meeting, whatever you wanna call it. You have to attend at least one meeting to be eligable for the surgerym so this counted 2 fold. I will admit, I shocked a little when I saw the size of the chairs that were out. It was almost insulting but I guess this was for um...people of size, but come on, I wasn't one of them....was I?

The room had I'd venture to say...70 or more people. All sizes were there. New people, people who had the surgery recently, veterans, you name it. The lady who started the meeting, seminar, whatever, told the audience that she had bariatric surgery about 2 years ago. Then showed a before picture. Impressive. I had learned through the course of the night that almost ALL of the team members had it (the "team" is the whole group you work with, a nutritionist, head shrinker, insurance liason, social worker, Dr etc) I found that bit of info...interesting. She introduced the team members one by one (of course more then one team) thewn announed they would all be talking. Ok, honestly, I was bored already. The ex was listening with intensity. I was making paper airplanes. I hate this. You know its just gonna be the same stuff they say at the private meetings! The only time I really focused was when the Drs were up there. That was of interest.

After everyone, and I mean EVERYONE finished the lecture portion, they played a little game (for lack of a better word) They put a picture up on a big screen in the front of the room of a former fatty and you had to look around the room to see if you could find them. No one could! Then they would set out in the aisle. Wow. It was unbelieveable.

They had a Q&A after. This was my oppertunity to really dig deep. "Excuse me, but don't like 1 in 300 people DIE from this suregery?" All eyes turned to me...whaaaat? It was a ligit question!! I remembered my research!!! Of course the doctor has an answer for everything, even though I was trying to trip him up, giving myself an excuse not to continue this process. But the more I FINALLY listened, the more I thought, maybe...just maybe this was the road I should be traveling.

Although I was scared I thought I should take another step and meet with the team, you know, hear them out. What do I stand to lose? I made appts that night with several team members. Oct 2nd I was set to begin. Begin what? I wasn't sure yet.

*note for today...now I know it was to begin a new life

This was posted later that same night...

Wow, I made a huge mistake last night. My son and I went to the gym. We felt great when we left. So we went home and he did some cleaning while I cooked dinner. chicken Egg Foo Young Muffins with sauce, rice and steamed broccoli. Experimenting has been fun. Reminds me why I like cooking. So anyway, he and I ate dinner in the den, my daughter had gone upstairs. Sometimes she likes to cook with us, other times its all about Facebook and her friends. I guess maybe tiredness started to wash over me. It HAD been 12 hours non stop... but I ate too fast. I was SO sick the rest of the night. I was nauseous, crampy, my head hurt. What a nightmare! Lesson learned, I will never eat fast again! Slow, small bites it is, as dictated by the "Bariatric Bible". I'm still paying today. I couldn't even get a Protein shake down for Breakfast. Ugh. Like the turtle and the rabbit I will try to remember...slow and steady wins the race.

Have a good night everyone

[beth423 33]

I love your stories. I would love to read more. They are an inspiration to me. I am 3 months out and 53 lbs down and love hearing stories about people's experience and makes me look forward

[virgie 8]

I have been struggling lately when I stumbled upon this app. The forums of the hospital where I had my surgery done was filled with snobs and people judging which was unbelievable to me. I tried to be supportive and helpful for others and got knocked down a lot. I finally unsubscribed and left. Since only people who have the surgery can understand what life is like afterward' date=' I have found myself alone for a while now. I have a wonderful support system at home but again, their understanding is limited. I am 1 year and 5 days shy of 8 months since my surgery. I'd like to share my story but I'm feeling things out first. It's a heck of a story lol. I have blogged a lot of it but share it with very few since I find people can be cruel. Like I'm weak for having surgery instead of doing it "the right way".

I hope I found a new home <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

Nancy, it's all about YOU!!

No one else matter, it's your time.

[NancyW 16]

Congrats Beth!! Thats amazing! Keep it up

[virgie 8]

Thank you everyone!!!

Butterfly66...I was walking around the house the other day singing a song from the Disney movie Mulan..."Who is that girl I see' date=' starring straight back at me? When will my reflection show, someone OTHER then who I used to be?!" Sometimes I look in the mirror and think 'who is that?' Other times...I see the old me. I find that losing weight so fast and so drastic has been and still is a huge mind game. But do I regret? Not for a single moment. The BEST decision I have ever made. It was life saving. I remember after I lost the weight we were moving and I was running in and out of the house box after box up and down 2 flights of stairs when my (then) 12 year old daughter said "Mom, don't you EVER get tired?" I looked at her and smiled and yelled "NO!" lol!

Tell your daughter to never look back, don't let anything scare her and don't worry about anything but how healthy and happy she will be after this is all done. *hugs* to her. Life WILL change, some will be hard to except, sorry but thats the truth, but nonetheless, it will all be worth it. My surgery and recovery were more difficult then most, I had a lot of complications and was sick for months. I don't personally know anyone, even in my support groups, who had as bad a time as I, yet I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ok, so here is blog number 2: thanks for the support everyone! My story continues...

Posted Jan 27, 2011

I wasn’t big into trying all the fad diets. I never even gave them a thought. After all, I was the picture of health and therefore knew what would work and what wouldn’t. Oh come on now, you don’t have to be healthy to know fad diets are not the answer.

But neither is surgery. I’m just oh so high and mighty that I knew surgery was a quick fix. If I said it once I said it a million times “if you can’t learn to eat right and exercise, the surgery won’t help.” Ya, I said with a piece of cake in fron of me. But I still maintain I’m right about that. I scoffed at people who had it done. Most of course putting the weight back on. I did the research. I knew the statistics. Big fat waste of time I told myself. Speaking of big and fat…

My diabetes was getting worse. I found myself back on insulin which wasn’t even helping anymore. My diabetes was also bringing other problems now. One morning I woke up and saw these blood red marks on my lower legs. I had no idea what they were. By the time I got out of the shower they were hurting. I mean HURTING! Well that started what was 6 months of hell. Drs, hospitals, specialists, I saw them all and yet knew nothing. The pain was 24/7, it reached a point where the pain was either tolerable or intolerable, but always there. I spent a couple of months on crutches, always fun. The “wounds” puffed up, eventually broke as blood oozed out. Oh so that’s what was in them! One morning I woke up screaming. I was in pain that was just above and beyond. It turned out one of my wounds was infected. Badly. So, again to the Dr., hospital, specialists, MRIs, X-rays, wound specialists. During all this, I got really sick. I was throwing up for 5 days until the Dr. put me in the hospital because I had become dehydrated. While I was there they told me my blood work had shown I had a massive infection completely throughout me.. Life was fun! But eventually it all subsided and went away. I was left with some scars but that was a small price to pay considering what could have happened. This past October suddenly I saw them start again. Panic set in. Sure enough, it started all over again.

At this point I knew it was time to see my Dr. to discuss my health. The condition I had with my legs turned out to be a diabetes related disease. My numers were over 500. That’s when he dropped the bomb. “Nancy, I think it’s time you had bariatric surgery.” I could barely hear him as he went on and on about its not what it once was, the statistics have improved, higher success rate blah, blah, blah. I started to feel sick. He can’t be serious. He told me that with my health issues I was a prime candidate and the insurance company would easily cover it. He told me where to start. I started by going home and wondering what to do.

I thought about it so much. Well, it WOULD help with a life threatening disease. Life without all my medical problems? Sweet. Was there maybe a part of me that thought, wow, wouldn’t it be nice to look better too? I tried to suppress those thoughts. That made me as bad as all the “others”, didn’t it? My ex-husband and I talked about it incessantly. He thought it was a good idea. I kept thinking about those statistics again. What was it I once heard? 1 in 300 people DIE from it? Well with my luck, I would be the 1. But the ex said we should at least head to the hospitals seminar and hear them out.

So off to St. Luke’s Bariatric Hospital in Allentown we went.

Thats all for now. And I haven't even been to the seminar yet LOL!

Have a great day everyine and thanks for reading and the kind words <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

btw... yes I like posting pics, I think they make the most dramatic statement. Quick story...I ride a motorcycle and this summer my husband and I took a trip up the Delaware Scenic Byway, a great run along the Delaware river on the PA/NY border. But I had taken the same run a year before the surgery. This is me, the same exact spot in 2010 and now in 2012

.[/quote']

Nancy, you look great!!

[NancyW 16]

Nancy, you look great!!

Thank you! *hug*

You know, I'm sitting here listening the GMA. They are talking about someone famous (sorry the name escapes me) that lost a lot of weight recently. "She did it without surgery or gimmicks..." See, now there is the problem. No wonder people are so judgmental! Thats why I rarely tell anyone how I lost it. When the media downplays this method, makes it like we are doing something wrong, the stigma of being weak, and bad for having the surgery will never go away. Shame on the media...

My morning thought...

When will the scale stop mocking me? Its like a daily showdown. I circle and tell it "ok, scale, its either you or me, one of us is going down!" *insert old western music here* too bad its NOT my weight thats going down!! I need to lose 5 lbs (I had gained 10 after a pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage), I lost 5 of it but the other 5 just won't come off! I hate that scale, yet I can't live without it. I have to know, I have to watch. Those 5 lbs SHOW. I SEE it. My clothes look awful. I can't find anything baggy enough. I know...I obssess on my weight. I am well below my goal weight but its not enough for me. And you know what, thats not going to stop because when it stops being a concern, it will creep back, slowly... and before you know it BAM...182 lbs back on. No, I'll take the obssession rather then the weight gain tyvm. Ok, scale...I'll see YOU....tomorrow...

Have a good day everyone

[Maggie0557 31]

I am waiting with bated breath for MORE of your story. I NEED the inspiration!

M

[NancyW 16]

So I did all the required testing for weeks before trying to cram everything in so I can get the surgery before years end (thank you for always making things complicated Mr. Insurance Company). But I got it all in and was ready to go, having lost my required 20 lbs before the surgery. As they prepped me my surgeon came in (*insert angelic singing*) I love that man!! He warned me once again, there IS the possibility that with my prior surgeries, scar tissue and whatever else they find that they would not be able to do the proceedure. Ouch. Imagine going through all this then waking up and hearing...sorry that was all for nothing. But... onward we went.

The surgery was supposed to take an hour and a half. At that time the doctor went to the waiting room to talk to my ex and my son. He told them he didnt know if he was going to be able to do it. There were all kinds of complications, but he wouldnt give up. But also couldn't make any promises. He left them there, worried and praying but informed. Another hour and a half later he came out and said it was rough but he made it., They had to "take me apart to put me back together to take me apart" lol ok, whatever, it worked. I did have 7 incisions instead of 5, but small price to pay of you ask me. My recovery was long. I should have been home from the hospital in a day or 2 I was there 5. I remember asking my ex to kill me lol! I would say over and over, what did I do? What did I do? Oh, I know, saved my life. Minor detail. I just wasnt looking at it that way. The sips of liquid the laps around the hospital were brutal. If my ex and son didnt push me I would have never moved. But I did and each day got better. Some nights I even did my laps alone. But I was just so...beaten. Tired, sick, in pain and really whinny!!! I was filled with regret. A useless emotion but at the time, it didnt matter, I wished I could reverse things and take it back. This, to me, did NOT seem worth it. But of course, I was living in the moment, not looking at the big picture. Not realizing that what I had done, although so horrendous at that moment, would change mylife for the better. No, it would save my life.

Posted January 30, 2011 (1 month and 1 day after surgery)

The Bad

Wow did this start out as a horrid day! I felt crappy (well thats any given day now) and work was hell. I really hate this constant sickness. Every day is the same, nausea, tired, shakey. I left a message on the hospital forums where I had my surgery. The doctors and rest of the team monitor the boards too. Well I left a post on there about how I'm feeling and that I was starting to regret what I had done. The surgery that is. Ok, regret is a useless emotion but still, if I wanna whine then damn it I'm gonna whine! Well everyone said the same thing. "Are you taking your vitamions?" First I said what is a vitamion but then I realized I just made a typo there. Anyway, moving on. Oh the vitamins! Riiiight. Ok is the Dr or hospital going to SUPPLY them to me? Of course not. Oh I see, my health is dependant on taking them. Sorry kids no dinner tonight, but hey! I have my vitamins! I repeat, riiiiight. OK I went on Amazon and found them for a somewhat reasonable price but damn, another expense

The Good

The Nutritionists who monitor the boards suggested I call my Dr since the "shakey" and tired could be my diabetes meds. So I called and reported my numbers. Know what the Dr said? "Stop taking them but continue to monitor your blood suger" OMG! Yes, call the newspapers! stop the presses! Let the pigions loose!! I am no longer on any diabetes meds! *bow* I'd like to thank the academy...

The Ugly

Have people said I look like I lost a lot of weight? Yes. But it always seems to be people who knew I had the surgery. What does that tell me? I sometimes wonder if I will ever look in the mirror and see something different. Is that why I had this done? No, but it would be a nice um...perk?

ok all, that'll do it for now

Yours till Niagara Falls

Have a great day everyone!

[Maggie0557 31]

Wow, YOU have been through A LOT and still feel the surgery was worth it!!!!!! Please continue when you have time. I am your avid reader

[Ellie_Grace 271]

amazing story and you are an awesome writer. You have the abilty to catch the readers attention and drag them into your world and then they do not want to leave. Great posts and I am also looking forward to hearing more of your journey! Glad you joined our community.

[NancyW 16]

Sorry, removed that last post