Unsupportive Husband..

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Most men that never been over weight & are old fashion like mind think with simply diet & & exercise we will be fine. Surgery is a tool to help you get a head start not to make you skinny. You slim down if you follow a diet plan & exercise. Some people end up in bad gambits again simply they couldn't control them self. If your focus you will & can lose the weight.

[SilviaC 20]

Ok. Now here's my two cents. My husband was not supportive of this at all in the beginning because he was scared that something bad would happen during the surgery. He is tall and Semi thin (5'11 and 215 pounds). After talking with him and explaining to him how my health could possibly become much better, he was 100% with me. Maybe talking to your husband and telling him the reasons why you want to have the surgery might change his attitude towards your surgery. I made sure I let my husband know that I would still love him the same even though I would become thinner and that my feelings wouldn't change against him, that my feelings would only change about food. Communication and keeping him in the loop of everything is also the key. Good luck:-)

surgery date: 7/30/12

[kloveburd 132]

Hahaha dear lord. Yeah my bf always jokes about me leaving him for someone else and I just tell him don't be an asshole and I won't leave? Lol we're an odd couple, I love him to death but he frustrates the hell out of me. Also yeah he doesn't like the thought of me getting a massage by a man because it's too much and nobody should touch me like that. Very overprotective. I want to lose weight for me because I'm unhappy with my body. Although I think I had a breakthrough tonight and he said to me that he knows the surgery is most likely happening. BUT after that he said he would be there and support me because he'd be worried and still loves me whatever I decide to do. I think things will get a little better, or it might just have been a late night and was jut saying it. Either way I'm so happy insurance approved!

[DLCoggin 1,788]

Ok so that you guys can get an idea of why he's against it... My husband is a born and raised vegetarian, he avoids processed foods and try's to always eat organic. I guess you can call him a health freak. He wants me to lose weight the "normal" way, good old fashion healthy eating and exercises. He just doesn't understand that when you've been brought up almost your entire life with bad habbits, they are EXTREMLY difficult to just stop.

Perhaps it would help to take a look at the "common ground" you guys share.

• Living as a vegetarian requires a commitment to life style changes. So does bariatric surgery. The surgery is a tool that makes those changes easier but it's not a magic bullet. It's all about life style changes.
  
• Most vegetarians are motivated by the desire to live a longer, healthier, and happier life style. Most folks who opt for bariatric surgery are motivated by the desire to live a longer, healthier, and happier life style.
  
• Being a vegetarian requires making choices, every day, consistent with their goals. Life after bariatric surgery requires making choices, every day, consistent with your goals.
  
• Vegetarians accept the challenges inherant with living with vegetarian limitations. Bariatric surgery folks accept the challgenges inherant with living with post-op limitations.
  
• Becoming a vegetarian is a choice. As is bariatric surgery.
  

That's a lot of common ground. But the question still remains - diet and exercise vs. bariatric surgery?

• Less than 5% of individuals who participate in non-surgical weight loss programs will lose a significant amount of weight and maintain that weight beyond one year.
  
• Average excess weight loss for dieters is 2%-5%. Average excess weight loss for RNY is 80% with 50%-75% of weight loss maintained at five years post-op.
  
• According to the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery, bariatric surgery can improve or resolve more than 30 obesity related conditions including Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, hypertension, and high cholesterol.
  
• Obesity is a chronic, progressive condition. Left untreated, sufferers will continue to gain weight. And those who do not already have obesity related conditions will eventually get them.
  
• There is virtually no evidence that supports the simplistic "eat less, move more" approach often given to folks has any realistic chance of success with people with a BMI of 30 or greater. If going on a diet or starting an exercise program resulted in persistent, long-term weight loss - we would not have an obesity epidemic.
  

Bariatric surgery is a very personal decision. Do the research. There is a lot of nonsense out there so be careful to choose your resources carefully. The following sites will give you a good start. Ask questions. Talk to your doctor. And then make the decision that you believe is the right one for you.

· http://www.hsph.harv...vention-source/ (Harvard School of Public Health)

· http://www.webmd.com/

· http://asmbs.org/ (American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery)

· http://iom.edu/Repor...Prevention.aspx (Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Science)

· http://www.wlslifestyles.com/ (This is a digital magazine with an ENORMOUS amount of information on weight loss surgery. Cost is $19.95 for a one year subscription and imho that's a real bargain.)

· http://www.mayoclinic.com/

[mizzlaw 130]

Oh boy, i had the same problem with my husband. He was soooo against it.... So i gave him a choice, i said your either with me or your not, if your not then we are done. i am an attorney he knows i was not joking and could easily file the paperwork, he took choice "A" he is now on board, i guess for better or worst....lol