female only How To Ask For Government Help

[lovealways 287]

Verbal abuse not only affects yourself, but your kids as well and their overall development. It may not be obvious now or they may not speak up about it, but each fight and each mean word said will stay with them for awhile, if not for life at that young of age. I'm sure they see their mother being treated badly by their father and eventually they internalize that and may start blaming themselves. If you can't leave the relationship now because you're hoping he'll change, then at least try to help your children out in some way. I think if you allow your kids to stay in this destructive and dangerous environment, then at least have them see a therapist. Everything a child goes through now, builds them into what they'll become in the future. Negative or positive. Help them if you can't find it in yourself to leave just yet.

Like another person added, sometimes heading into the unknown can be terrifying when all you've ever known is the life you've had for the past few years. It's hard knowing you have to leave behind that sort of comfort, but if you take that leap, I promise you won't regret it and I promise you you're much stronger than you think. It may be rocky at first, but just trust that you've made the right decision for yourself and your kids to leave.

You ARE strong and you must realize YOU matter! You just had a major surgery for yourself making YOU a priority! This is the first step. Make yourself and your kids your priority. When your husband accuses you of cheating and looking too sexy because you've lost weight, it's just his attempt to manipulate and control you. Any time you feel good about yourself, he fears you will leave, and he plants things in your mind like "you're not good enough. You can't make it without me. No one else will love you" and things like that. Eventually tou start to believe it. That's why it's so hard to leave right now! See what he's done? He played this mind game with you, your self esteem has faltered, and that's just what he wants! He's a coward, that's all. He's insecure himself, and needs to beat on you emotionally so he can control you enough so you'll say to yourself "He's right. I'm not good enough. I need him. I can't make it on my own" so you just keep staying. It's a cycle only you can break.

Hang in there Mami. It's hard to find the courage to leave, but you have it in you, you just need to look deeper

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I now have to leave. I'm doing it because he decided that my now 15 year old needs to leave by age 18. Only because she told him how sge feels & doesn't want him in her life once she leaves. Well no one throws my kids out!! She goes I go. She wants to save money. I will end up in a shelter but it's ok I was told I don't have to live in a housing. They will find me a place. Thanks guys & I will be fine. We will all be fine. I still have my bills in mind but my daughter works during summer so she will help me pay my bills so it's not so hard on me.

[PaulB 346]

Mami you will be alright

Take care of your kids the rest will work its self out

And remember a leopard can't change his spots

Surgery Anniversary 7/30/12

[lovealways 287]

We're all rooting for you!! Good luck!

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I'm going for a consultation I guess (never been there or know what is called) I want to explain my situation & see if I can be placed on a waiting list until there is something available. I'm told it takes a long time. I'm taking about housing but not housing project. I spoke to someone over the phone & they said I won't be put in project if I fear for my kids safety.

[slowtogo 301]

Check into section 8 housing. Reduced cost based on income.

[shrinkingDEE 60]

Check into section 8 housing. Reduced cost based on income.

Sec 8 is closed in NY. We have no idea when that'll open up again.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

That sucks! It's ok I have so many options that I didn't know about.

[Tammy483 162]

That sucks! It's ok I have so many options that I didn't know about.

Mami, stay strong. You are doing the right thing. Im praying for you..

[jenneliza 257]

There is always HUD or section 8. Some are in better parts. Some private agencies will help subsidize your rent. There are also energy assistance programs. Your assistance office may not have all of them so start googling. Also lots of churches will help you get situated with utility deposits. Also there are places like angelfood ministries that sell you discounted food- and you can buy them with food stamps. Bad credit will affect your ability to get approved for an apartment but not disqualify you. I know all this bc I left an abusive relationship 8 years ago with my kids and only clothing and diapers. We found a nice landlady and explained the situation. I just told her that I would always pay rent first bc eviction with 2 kids was not an option and that was also why credit cards weren't paid - bc rent was and she gave us a chance - and we still live there!

You can do it, just get organized and have a plan.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Thanks yes now they check for everything I don't have a history of paying rent but god is big. I have faith.

[nikkiba75 276]

Keep ya head up I'm

praying for you

Sent from my iPad using RNYTalk

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Keep ya head up I'm

praying for you

Sent from my iPad using RNYTalk

Thanks girl I think your prayer is helping me keep my head. I would had lost it already.

[kiwiladydee 402]

Hi Miami,

I'm sure someone would give you a chance, I wish u lived here in Atlanta!! I know so many people that would love to rent out there house. The church really has good connections as well.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Hi Miami' date='

I'm sure someone would give you a chance, I wish u lived here in Atlanta!! I know so many people that would love to rent out there house. The church really has good connections as well.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk[/quote']

Too bad I'm not in Atlanta. I would had been on my feet already with a house to live in.