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You know I totally agree with you. I have stayed out of this conversation due to incindiary state of the conversation. I feel strongly against fraud and theft of any kind' date=' and what was done with ankle weights etc is fraud. I am not sure why people think it is ok to buck the system to get what they want. I also will not watch pirated videos, sneak into a an extra movie at the theater, etc. I am a very black and white kind of person, if it is wrong it is wrong.

But that being said I do understand why she went there and felt pushed to almost do so, being the scales were different at one doctor to the next. If that first doctor had done his job she never would have had to go that route. I am not here to judge her actions, albeit I disagree with her choices and it is not one I would have made, I doubt she give a flying poop if I disagree LOL. I hope you reconsider your leaving and know we value your opinion as well. None of are perfect and each of us make mistakes regularly and we need to support each other.

The problem I had with both sides of this and I think not just Ryan needs to take the blame here is of the name calling and vicious attacks on both sides. (insert name here) said some highly inflammatory comments in reaction and anger. He/She was not the only one, but I will not go reread the whole thread since it was annoying and hard enough to read the first time. It is so dissapointing to see adults revert to childish attacks when someone voices a difference of a opionion. Yes he was rude and obnoxious but we did not need to step down to his level. If we had just ignored him this would have been over. He really is allowed his own opinion even if he might have considered not posting it on that particular thread but perhaps opened a new thread with that topic.

Another serious issue that needs to be addressed. We are here to support and help each other through this journey and as a therapist let me tell you that if you support someone when they are doing something wrong or thinking something harmful then we are damaging them and not supporting them. Support also means challenging people in their distorted thoughts and behaviors. BUT, and a big but, is that this needs to be done tactfully and with real compassion. Easy to say "Dang you are a real jerk for blah blah blah", or "Dang you are stupid for thinking blah blah blah", It might be easy but it is not helpful and can be damaging. Much better to word it as "I don't feel this way, have you considered viewing this in this way?" or "I understand we view this differently, but that is ok" Or "have you considered that when you did blah blah you might have hurt so in so feelings". We have to remember we are dealing with real people with intense hurt feelings and we need to respect each other at all times. So when we need to assist someone in adjusting their behavior or thinking then there are ways it can be done without resorting to childish hurtful remarks.

I have a feeling what I said has come out wrong. But please keep in mind I did so in a spirit of helpfulness.

P.S. I am not sure it would have mattered with Ryan as he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder, but it also seems as if he sure needed some serious help, that maybe we could have helped him with over time, but then again maybe not. Glad he is gone the contention in this thread was painful.[/quote']

I agree 100%. Cheating the system is just wrong in my opinion. Also, the name calling was coming from both sides, not just one. Ryan got destroyed for stating his opinion...point blank. oh well though! It's over now :) Lets all remember to act like adults, guys!

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I agree 100%. Cheating the system is just wrong in my opinion. Also' date=' the name calling was coming from both sides, not just one. Ryan got destroyed for stating his opinion...point blank. oh well though! It's over now :) Lets all remember to act like adults, guys![/quote']

He was disrespecting Alex as well with his e-mail. Alex manage the website & was most likely asking him what happen before he was ban. He made me feel as if I didn't belong here because I wasn't heavy enough. Stating a quick fix. Im a real person with real feelings & real family problems. Struggling to get food on the table & pay my bills. I try so hard to state my opinion with out hurting other people. We are all here because we aren't super runway models. We want to someday be slim or simply healthy. Ryan made me feel really bad. I was about to leave the group feeling I didn't belong.

We should all respect each other I agree. Name calling very wrong. I shouldn't had lower my self to keep replying but I then realize maybe this is a sick man that gets off on making others feel bad.

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I just want to say that i have medical proof that i was heavier. However desperatly seeking.change i lost some weight about 15lbs. Until i had to have some work done on my knee and was told to stay off of it. But i kept my weight off i.had lost and decided WLS was a option for me. My doctor supports my choice and was not happy to see my insurance denied me even though it was a very small amount of.weight 4/5lbs. Most of which was Water weight. I want this more than anything and i was noy going to regain.the weight on purpose. I worked hard to loose it. And since all of you have the need to tell me how im doing something fraudulent.. I honestly never thought of it like that. But if someone wants to make a big deal about the couple pounds then make a big deal. You guys act like i went onto a car lot and stole a car. Or i am.some crazy 130lb person stuffing a bowling ball in my bra. Im sorry you have your opinions but in the end this only effects me. You can continue to get but hurt but i pay into my isurance for a reason. I have paid more than enough money to them and they will let me have my surgery. If they choose to deny me again i will take out a loan and pay out of pocket.

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He was disrespecting Alex as well with his e-mail. Alex manage the website & was most likely asking him what happen before he was ban. He made me feel as if I didn't belong here because I wasn't heavy enough. Stating a quick fix. Im a real person with real feelings & real family problems. Struggling to get food on the table & pay my bills. I try so hard to state my opinion with out hurting other people. We are all here because we aren't super runway models. We want to someday be slim or simply healthy. Ryan made me feel really bad. I was about to leave the group feeling I didn't belong.

We should all respect each other I agree. Name calling very wrong. I shouldn't had lower my self to keep replying but I then realize maybe this is a sick man that gets off on making others feel bad.

Me too. I have never been so bothered And hurt by a complete stranger. I understand that i stooped to.his level but he was so rude for no reason. And honestly this site is for support and questions. I Didnt join so thay every word i type can be judged and then rediculed. Which is what its turning into. I have serval people who are curious about where i am in the process which is why i made the post. So all of you feelig free to express your opinions on my choices in my life maybe this isnt the right place for you. I know you all dont make post with the intentions of every member on here to.tell you how wrong you are! I know i personally would never do that to a random person i did not know. I have seen several posts on here i didnt agree with and you know what i did... I kept on scrolling. I didnt stop to force my opinions.on anyone because its not my place!!!

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I had to switch doctors after completing my 6 months of weight management and I was worried about my BMI being too low (38-39) since I was 40-41 when I started this journey. It was this summer mind you' date=' but I wore the heaviest jeans I owned, a cardigan sweater over my shirt (hey it's cold in the office with A/C), jewelry (again my heaviest Brighton necklace and charm bracelet), and I put my iPhone in my pocket. I also ate and drank just before I went in. It was enough to get me to 40 without gaining the weight back. My surgery is September 10. Good luck and let us know how it goes![/quote']

My surgery is September 10th also! I'll be thinking of you! ( I stuffed as much as I could in my pockets before I went in, wore a coat, and my heaviest shoes)

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I just want to say that i have medical proof that i was heavier. However desperatly seeking.change i lost some weight about 15lbs. Until i had to have some work done on my knee and was told to stay off of it. But i kept my weight off i.had lost and decided WLS was a option for me. My doctor supports my choice and was not happy to see my insurance denied me even though it was a very small amount of.weight 4/5lbs. Most of which was Water weight. I want this more than anything and i was noy going to regain.the weight on purpose. I worked hard to loose it. And since all of you have the need to tell me how im doing something fraudulent.. I honestly never thought of it like that. But if someone wants to make a big deal about the couple pounds then make a big deal. You guys act like i went onto a car lot and stole a car. Or i am.some crazy 130lb person stuffing a bowling ball in my bra. Im sorry you have your opinions but in the end this only effects me. You can continue to get but hurt but i pay into my isurance for a reason. I have paid more than enough money to them and they will let me have my surgery. If they choose to deny me again i will take out a loan and pay out of pocket.

I know for me I hope that they approve you and you get to begin this journey, yes this journey, that will help you become healthier and hopefully happier. That's what I know I'm looking for, as are many of us. Don't defend your choices. We don't need to agree with you but I don't want to judge anyone for what they do? I have not walked I your shoes. Would I do it, no buy that's my choice and that was yours. Be strong I think it will work out and I think even though we share differing opinions we can set that aside and support each other. I'm sure others feel that way.

I'm just sad others felt they were not being heard and had to leave because they were attacked for sharing their own beliefs. No one should have been judged and made to feel less than. No one. The only one that needed to leave got banned and for good reason, thank you Alex. I wish this thread could be dropped and we all could start again and leave this thread behind us,

Hoping for a better loving supportive thread to take this ones place. Let's forgive each other and move forward?

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I cannot believe that so many people feel the need to add a comment saying I hope you don't get approved or talking about insurance fraud. When did this group get so selfrightious. Seriously. No one should pass judgment and furthermore you should totally be approved and no don't heed that bs of its insurance fraud. People need to remember what it was like for them in the beginning of their journey.

I recommend if you need to "take a break from this thread" just do it. We don't need you to post as much. I think that's very passive aggressive and rude.

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If a doctor feels a person is in need of wls it should happen

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When they told me I had to do a 6 month program because my ins required it I had the fear if I lost to much weight I would be denied if someone drops 5 lbs to much there denied that is total bs our we and our doctors should be running our health care not the insurance companies . Furthermore Ryan did not even respect a admin of the group glad he is gone I don't have to agree with everyone's opinion but I would never disrespect them and call them horrible names everyone is in this difficult journey for there own reasons and to be healthy and that I give huge respect to

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I just want to say that i have medical proof that i was heavier. However desperatly seeking.change i lost some weight about 15lbs. Until i had to have some work done on my knee and was told to stay off of it. But i kept my weight off i.had lost and decided WLS was a option for me. My doctor supports my choice and was not happy to see my insurance denied me even though it was a very small amount of.weight 4/5lbs. Most of which was Water weight. I want this more than anything and i was noy going to regain.the weight on purpose. I worked hard to loose it. And since all of you have the need to tell me how im doing something fraudulent.. I honestly never thought of it like that. But if someone wants to make a big deal about the couple pounds then make a big deal. You guys act like i went onto a car lot and stole a car. Or i am.some crazy 130lb person stuffing a bowling ball in my bra. Im sorry you have your opinions but in the end this only effects me. You can continue to get but hurt but i pay into my isurance for a reason. I have paid more than enough money to them and they will let me have my surgery. If they choose to deny me again i will take out a loan and pay out of pocket.

You don't have to explain or defend yourself! Good luck!

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Ok my patient coordinator called me this morning and scheduled my surgery for next friday september 7th! I have a pre op appointment on wednesday sep 5th. Now im excited and sooo nervous!!!

Congrats!! That is just a week away, wow... at least the wait is over and journey can truly begin. BTW everytime I open this thread I smile only because your picture is so stinking beautiful I can't imagine what you will look like later, Dang what a knock-out woman!! Hope you are ready for all the attention that will be coming your way!

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P.S. you might want to open a thread that says Approved etc since many are avoiding this thread due to all the drama etc... that way everyone will hear your great news.

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Thank you :) i am so excited. I was going to make another post but i didnt want anymore drama i didnt even.want this one re opened lol. But i posted on the september surgeries post!

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 1 reply
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
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      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
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