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Some of you may have run across one or more of my posts where I refer to “life style changes” as the Prime Directive. We’ve all heard it – “Bariatric surgery is just a tool. Long term success depends on life style changes.” But I wonder how many of us have given serious thought to what “life style changes” really means. What are the implications? How do we incorporate the Prime Directive into the myriad of decisions that we will make as we travel the path toward achieving our goal? What criteria must be met that will ensure that the decisions we make are consistent with the Prime Directive?

· Sustainability – “life style changes” are, by definition, long term. I cringe every time I read a post where someone says “I’m three months out and eating about 500 to 600 calories a day.” That is not healthy. It’s not a life style change. And it’s not sustainable.

· Compatibility - Success is not synonymous with suffering. I recently commented in a post “Five years of moderate exercise is much more valuable than five weeks of trying to be a hero.” Most of us have the ability (and the temptation) to take diet or exercise to the extreme – bad idea. If we hate doing that five mile walk, or following that 600 calorie a day diet, or failing to participate in that holiday meal – we simply will not continue that in the long run. Life is supposed to be fun. You deserve to be happy. Successful life style changes means giving ourselves permission to Celebrate a moderate exercise routine, to eat a healthy number of calories every day, and to enjoy a special occasion with family and friends. Thoughtful restraint is always a success – mindless denial or pursuing an exercise goal that is beyond your personal limits will fail every time.

· Realistic expectations - At the heart of every life style change is a realistic expectation. Again and again and again I see folks agonizing over their failure to lose “X” pounds a week, or going a whole week without losing any weight, or frustrated because they don’t see an immediate response to a change they have made in their diet or exercise. Unrealistic expectations are unquestionably a major source of stress for many and may well be the single biggest contributing factor that causes some to fail. We’re all individuals and we’re all different. There are no absolutes. Do your part in following the protocol your doctor gave you and then allow your body to find its own way, in its own time. Expect there to be bumps in the road and above all else remember that patience is not only a virtue, it’s a necessity.

There is no “one size fits all” answer to the question of how we go about identifying and then incorporating life style changes. But if we remember that they must be sustainable, compatible with our strengths and capabilities, and based on realistic expectations, we have a solid foundation for the Prime Directive.

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Well said!!

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Wow, beautifully said. It amazes me how we forget that we did not become obese overnight and we will definetly not loose it that way either. How easy it is to say I will never with conviction when there is no bigger truth than never say never. If we would only concentrate on the Journey and be grateful we are here for the ride and everything we learn on a daily basis it would be a much more pleasant ride!

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Well said as always! I am striving for this. I have chosen to walk on some nature trails in my town. We have turned it to a family thing and tonight my daughter brought a friend. I want to be daily motion to be easy and a part of our family fabric. I'm looking forward to incorporating more healthy choices as food is reintroduced again do I can be a better role model for my kids.

Thanks for the motivation!

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While I agree with what you said completely DL, it can't stop the nagging feeling that I should be doing more. I am trying but I can't run on the treadmill (walk at a quick pace for 30 minutes)and I can't do the elliptical for more than 15 min. I have tried. I feel sick and dizzy. But if I could maybe I would lose weight faster. Who knows....I didn't become over 400 lbs overnight. And I have lost 68 lbs since pre surgery lifestyle change in May. I want to succeed.

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Bekki, it sounds to me like you're doing absolutely fantastic! Remember - realistic, sustainable expectations. I started walking on a treadmill for 20 minutes at a time. Slowly worked my way up. Eventually I got bored with the treadmill so I started walking in the neighborhood. Eventually got bored with that and decided to walk in a park close to my home. The park turned out to be the ticket for me. I've slowly increased my walking from 20 minutes to about an hour and three miles - four to five times a week.

Every time I've increased my exercise goal, I set it to something that I knew I could do. Every time. If I do more, great. But I believe that it is so important to set realistic goals that you are confident you can accomplish AND Celebrate accomplishing them every time! It is so much more realistic, sustainable, and just plain fun when you choose to live your life celebrating your successes than it is to live your life always choosing "the nagging feeling that I should be doing more". Notice that I said "choose" because that's exactly what it is, a choice. I know exactly how you feel. I am a perfectionist by nature and I have to fight it every day. But with practice you can make the choice to feel good about yourself and to enjoy every delicious moment of all of the great things you are accomplishing. Make the choice! You're gonna love the new you!!

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