Please Help!

[connie3 43]

I haven't told my kids that I'm thinking about and in the process of preparing myself for this surgery. They are 8, 9 and I also have a 1 year old.

Tonight has been the 2nd night my 8 yr old daughter cries because she was thinking about me dying. She cries and tells me she doesn't want me to die and it just breaks my heart into a million pieces!! It makes me doubt my choices.

I'm scared and this doesn't make it any better. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

[babysteps 48]

I'm in the same boat as you hugz. I have no clue what to say to my kids about it so book marking your post ,

[my3stars 88]

I haven't told my kids that I'm thinking about and in the process of preparing myself for this surgery. They are 8' date=' 9 and I also have a 1 year old.

Tonight has been the 2nd night my 8 yr old daughter cries because she was thinking about me dying. She cries and tells me she doesn't want me to die and it just breaks my heart into a million pieces!! It makes me doubt my choices.

I'm scared and this doesn't make it any better. Has anyone experienced anything similar?[/quote']

What are your odds if you do not have surgery? I told my kids that this was giving me a second chance and that I would be healthier and able to do things with them that at the time I couldn't even think about doing because my weight was a hinderance. It is not easy but if you feel this is the right thing for you, the words will come out right, good luck!

[kristy3k 1,133]

Your post brought tears to my eyes... I don't have kids that young but still is tough to tell them when the risks are there. Love and hugs to you and your family. I know you will be fine and that your kids will love their new active mommy!!!!

[kiwiladydee 402]

I didn't have young kids, but I hated telling me nieces 13, 16, and 18. They were very mad and against it. I took them out and then the problems I run into ( stairs, walking, clothes) etc. I also explained about airplane seatbelts and airplane seatbelt. I think kids are visual, if you can find a way to show them, I think they will understand better.

[jenneliza 257]

I my kids were 8 and 10 when I told them. Just spin it positively getting on rides at the fair, pier, amusement park, roller skating, hiking, horseback riding, bike riding. I focused it on how it would benefit them in ways they will like. And I did promise to do all the above with them!

[connie3 43]

Actually, I wasn't thinking of telling them at all. I think they are too young to truly understand. I think I'm just scared and worried of dying and leaving my children without a mama. Then again I can die tomorrow for being over weight! I'm just nervous and my baby girl crying doesn't make the stress any better! :/

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Actually' date=' I wasn't thinking of telling them at all. I think they are too young to truly understand. I think I'm just scared and worried of dying and leaving my children without a mama. Then again I can die tomorrow for being over weight! I'm just nervous and my baby girl crying doesn't make the stress any better! :/[/quote']

I wouldn't tell them. They won't understand & I'm sure it's a better chance of dying from over weight then surgery. When they see the new you in a few years you can tell them or not.

[MommyHand 45]

My kids are 5, 12, & 14. All three at some point in their life went through a phase of fearing me dying. Its hard on them and you bc obviously death is something that happens. But don't let that hold you back. My kids know I am planning to have the surgery and Im doing it to make me healthy and prolong my life. They are excited for me. My youngest doesnt like the idea of surgery, but when she brings it up I tell her all the fun things Mommy will be able to do and it eases her mind...good luck.

[lpaligutan 65]

There some point in our life that we all go... U can go anytime ..not in surgery even just sitting at home.. But on my experience now that i saw my changes im 2 months post op .. Im so so happy now... My kids loves my new me... They r 18,15,11

[connie3 43]

Thank you all sooo much. You've all been a great help to me!

[Ellie_Grace 271]

I would never suggest not telling your children. What if something were to happen to you and then they would be totally blindsided. I know they are young, but you can certainly just explain you are going to a doctor who is going to help make you healthier and one of the things he will be doing for you is fixing your stomach so you have to eat healthy. This means you have to be in the hospital for a couple of days but can call them and talk to them and reassure them you will be home soon. Also share with them all the things they gain from your surgery and life changes (as someone else already said) and involve them in helping you be healthier. For example: have them choose healthy food (good time to teach them about nutrition even at a young age) for dinner, Snacks etc, have them go on walks with you, let them be your trainers. Give them permission to help you drink all the time. Let them be responsible for reminding you to drink etc. I dont mean to overwhelm them, but allow them be excited about mommy being healthy and getting to go on walks and swimming and playing with them. Then they will learn about exercise and healthy living from you and be excited with you as you get healthier.

[Ellie_Grace 271]

Oh I have 6 children, but only two left at home and the youngest was 10 when I had surgery. He was old enough to understand and has embraced the whole thing and constantly encourages me and is excited about the things we can do together. Right now we do Wii Fit together and go on walks together and he loves it. At 8 and 9 they are definetly old enough to grasp what is going on and not telling them might be a mistake (in my opinion) just tell them as I suggested before, without all the possible complications. It sounds like your daughter is already worried, so telling her you are going to get "fixed" so you can be healthier and be around might ease her fears anyway.

I could go into child development etc, but I won't but suffice it to say your children are old enough to know to some extent what is going on without freaking them out or scaring them to death, as long as you tell them in a positive way. They will pick up on your fears so try to be positive and honest with them.

Best of luck!

[KimW 38]

My girls were 8(now 9) and 13 when I told them. I spun it as a positive & how much healthier I would be. My 8 year old had no problem with it. My 13 year old was a basket case! She did not want me to change....she thought it would be an immediate change like when my husband had lasix and no longer wore glasses. But now she tells me everyday how proud of me she is & that I did the right thing. I think it just really depends on the child, their age, and how much they understand.

Good luck to you!

[worm2872 635]

Wow this string brings the reality of our lives back. As happy as we are on this journey we are all scared. Kids have a way of looking at reality. We will be fine and healthier but it's still hard.