Move Forward?

[kloveburd 132]

I've come to a crossroads in my life where I know change is necessary for the life I want to lead, and I want to have the gastric bypass surgery. I'm prepared for the changes, excercising routines, everything. I've went to the informational meeting, had a physical with my dr and all. I'm 307lbs at 5'4" and only 22. I have discussed the surgery to my family and a few close friends and they have been very supportive. The only one that hasn't been understanding has been my boyfriend of 4 years. He says I should just diet and exercise but when I explain it's not as simple as you think (he's very thin, has never had a weight problem) he blows it off and says I don't try hard enough. I asked him to sit and research with me to get more informed but he won't. Should I proceed with the surgery

or just go his route?

[tamihill 24]

You need to do what's best for YOU and your health. You're the one that has to live with the weight not him or anyone else. It's an extremely hard decision, but when you have tried and tried sometimes you have to the surgery route. Maybe he's scared of you losing the weight and then leaving him. Hope you can decide what ou need to do. Which ever route you go on.

[Sparklette 381]

My boyfriend wasn't 100% on board when I started talking about it, He was the same way,"why don't you just diet and blah blah blah" And I was like, You have been living with me for three years, You know how I eat! I eat very little, and mostly well, I go to the pool three times a week, and I'm not losing nearly enough to be healthy. I told him that I would like his support, but I'm doing it wither he likes it or now, because I want to be healthy, and have children, and I don't want to die by the time I'm thirty, and If I'm not dead, I don't want to be living only by a case of medication.

After I exploded all of this, (and cried a little) He got on board, He's coming with me to the dietitian today, and said that He'll even start dieting too, not as hardcore as I am, but eating clean, healthy foods, and no more fast food. (he could afford to lose a few lbs. also)

But If he loves you and wants you to be happy, He will come around.

[DLCoggin 1,788]

I've come to a crossroads in my life where I know change is necessary for the life I want to lead, and I want to have the gastric bypass surgery. I'm prepared for the changes, excercising routines, everything. I've went to the informational meeting, had a physical with my dr and all. I'm 307lbs at 5'4" and only 22. I have discussed the surgery to my family and a few close friends and they have been very supportive. The only one that hasn't been understanding has been my boyfriend of 4 years. He says I should just diet and exercise but when I explain it's not as simple as you think (he's very thin, has never had a weight problem) he blows it off and says I don't try hard enough. I asked him to sit and research with me to get more informed but he won't. Should I proceed with the surgery

or just go his route?

You might like to check out the video link in my post at http://www.rnytalk.c...__fromsearch__1 . I'm sure your boyfriend means well. But "diet and exercise" and "try harder" are simplistic comments from a person who is ignorant of the realities of an obesity epidemic that affects 2/3 of the adult population in the U.S. and literally hundreds of millions of people around the world. If he genuinely wants to help and support you, he needs to genuinely put forth the effort to understand the complexity of the problem.

The decision to move forward or not is one that only you can make. Whatever you do, don't decide for or against because of anything that anyone else says or thinks. Do the research and decide what's best for you. This forum is an amazing resource where you can ask any question and get answers from lots of folks who will not judge you and who know exactly where you are coming from. Treat it like the potentially life-changing decision that it is and you'll make the right decision for you! Here are some links to help you (and possibly your boyfriend) get started on getting educated.

· http://www.hsph.harv...vention-source/ (Harvard School of Public Health)

· http://www.webmd.com/

· http://asmbs.org/ (American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery)

· http://iom.edu/Repor...Prevention.aspx (Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Science)

· http://www.wlslifestyles.com/ (This is a digital magazine with an ENORMOUS amount of information on weight loss surgery. Cost is $19.95 for a one year subscription and imho that's a real bargain.)

· http://www.mayoclinic.com/ mayo Clinic