Husband Mr Big Mouth

[elvislover 14]

My husband told me a couple of weeks ago that he saw one of my former coworkers and told her I was having the RNY. I asked him not to tell people because it isn't their business. The town we live in is full of judgmental assholes and the last thing I need is for them looking down at me because of that. Well I thought he understood. He just told me that 3 other people will be thinking of me tomorrow. I asked him what he told them and he said that I was having the surgery. I asked him if he told them the kind of surgery and he said yes because they'll figure it out sooner or later. This caused an instant reaction from me and we got into it. I dont care for people knowing I'm having surgery but it's none of their business what type of surgery unless ME MYSELF or I tells them!!! Am I wrong to be embarrassed that people know?? That's one of my mental issues I have to get passed too, I always worry what everyone else thinks about me. Any advice!?

[Sparklette 381]

You should be pissed at him, I would be furious, you specifically asked him not to tell anyone, and he did anyway.

You shouldn't be embarrassed, it isn't their business, and if they can't support you for trying to save yourself then screw them. You are doing this for YOU, and that's the only opinion you need.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Don't worry you have every right not to tell ppl your bizz.

[nickyvolzz 17]

I know how you must feel. I've got judgmental people over here too. It sucks. If we were going to have heart, knee or whatever other type of surgery that's okay, but weight loss surgery is unnatural and whatever else bs they try to guilt us with. What as humans do we do that is natural anyways! I guess no one should go to the dentist to get there cavities filled! Or take medicine either. What a bunch a bs. I feel for you. You should be able to count on your hubby to respect your wishes. I'm sure if it was him going to get a vasectomy he wouldn't want you out there telling everyone! Hope those people he told don't give you a hard time. :-)

[ladyspl 161]

Playing devils advocate here but....I am a nervous blabber. Even things such as this that I also didn't want ANYONE to know about, I was riddled with anxiety over it and just got diarrhea of the mouth....

Perhaps thats what happened with him, and then to top it off he shoved his foot in his mouth when he realized how upset you were over it, by saying (the ever-so-bite-you-in-the-ass phrase) "Soon enough they will figure it out anyways" GRRRRRRR!

As much as it pains me to admit this, but yeah, pretty much, people will figure it out. LET THEM TALK! This is definitely the time to thicken that skin sista! Work on direct responses that shut them down from the door. "Yes, I had a surgery that gave me back control over my (insert medical illness here), and as a result, I have been able to get my weight back in control too. Other than that, I am the same person, and am done discussing this." I think pulling a Star Jones about it, just gives people more ammunition to bust your chops and give you grief over it. Just quickly address it and move on.

Hold your head high babe, you got this!