Keeping the band a "secret"???

[kity 2]

Hi again everyone,

My question this time is this...How many people are telling friends/family/work/etc. about getting and being banded? I have told many friends at work, my partner, her family, and mine. Everyone has been supportive (I am blessed), but I have read some threads where ppl mention they didn't tell work and some even said they didn't tell family ( I assume this meant family who do not live w/ them). Just curious about people's line of thinking on "full disclosure" or not.

[Amelia40 0]

Personally I have told many friends and family that I am having the surgery. I am also not concerned about what people think of my decision. It is what I have to do for me. And what they think of me having the surgery could be no worse than thought of me being over weight. I would hope that most people understand that the decision is not an easy one.

I am scheduled for surgery 1/31.

Good luck/God Bless.

Amelia

[coltonwade 27]

I can tell you that since I am an "Open Book " kind of person , I am what I am and if you dont like it that's your issue, it never occured to me NOT to tell everyone close to me until reading other posts. BUT I can say that after some family members reactions, comments.. ect . That I had wished I had waited at least until I had the surgery . It took my mom and dad quite a long time to come around and not be negative about the surgery. My mom thought " i had not done enough on my own to loose weight " . Grandparents, well they jus tdo not understand the whole concept so they think im crazy .

My best friend again , all what SHE wished SHE has seen be done before "resorting" to surgery . Since Im not banded yet, and wont be for another month (HOPEFULLY) I Do kind of wish I had waited. I still do not care what others think, but some days when im frustrtated its just better to not hear others comments. As someone else said on another thread discussing something similiar, I now tell people " SO what if it IS The easy way out, im getting healthy that's all i care about if its easy its easy "

HTH

Mindy

[Fauxnaif 1]

I have only told the following people:

my hubby obviously, my parents and brother, my mother in law, two friends and my sister-in-law (hubby accidentally let that out of the bag). No one at work knows.

This has worked very, very well for me. I'm a person who really values my privacy.

[marjon9 6]

I decided that I would handle it this way: When I lose weight and people start to notice and ask about it, I'll be honest and say exactly what it is. I would not feel comfortable hiding things at that point and having to worry about people finding out about it in other ways and wondering why I lied.

But I'm telling the fewest people possible until then. I told only family before the surgery. And I had a lot of resistance even from them which was not helpful at all. People mean well but it is just not helpful to hear everyone tell you about the latest diet you should try before getting surgery, etc.

So, that's my plan. Everyone's different. But I agree that it is something to think about in advance, while you still have the option to decide who you tell, and to make your own decision by choice instead of by default.

[threebeauties 0]

I chose to keep it to myself. I told DH and two close friends. I didn't even tell my young daughters. I figured if I did, every soccer mom within a 10 mile radius would know:nervous

I am a fairly private person.

I do not want to talk about my weight or my weight loss regularly. I am afraid that everywhere I go people will be asking me "how much have you lost this week, etc"

the band can be a slow process for some and I want to avoid the negative comments, etc.

I am even uncomfortable talking about the weight I've lost!

I plan on telling my sisters farily soon. Most others don't need to know.

[Mrs Husker 3]

I've told my DH, mom, dad, older sister and best friend. I also decided to tell my boss because of the time off I am going to need and also I will need someone to help me when I return as I do some heavy lifting at work. I will not tell my younger sister or another friend. They both think that they know everything. When I was doing the research on the band, I talked to both of them about it and they were both very negative. Now that I have decided to have the band, I will not let them know. There is a thread on here where someone said that when people who did not know they had the band ask them how they are losing weight they will them "with hard work and exercise". Since that will be the truth, thats what I plan on telling people that don't know.

[Isabella 4]

I've decided to keep it to myself and tell a few family members. My mother, my father, my brother and my zia(aunt) are the only ones who know about my surgery. This way, i feel like it is in my control... the people who i told, i know will not tell anyone else, leaving me in control of who i want to find out in the future.

[Woodys 0]

I am very private about my band. Only two friends and 3 family members know. I wish I had never told my MIL. I am a self payer and she has a real problem justifying the expense for something she thinks I should have been able to handle myself.....she won't let it end.

The others are respectful with my wish to keep it private and they support me well.

I own two businesses and live in a small village. Everyone in this town knows enough about me, I don't want them knowing this too.

Even though I'm very proud of my accomplishments with the band and have no regrets I still don't want the world to know and If I told just one wrong person in this village that is exactly what would happen.

Carol

[Desiree1970 0]

I told pretty much anyone I'm close to, but wish some I hadn't. I've experienced some unfortunate jelousy amongst people who didn't agree with my procedure, people who were telling me, I wouldn't lose as fast and the lap band was too new...In the end I call that jealousy because in the end my results will be as good if not better than theirs...less loose hanging skin, and my anatomy hadn't been altered.

Will I share this experience with more people? Yes absolutely- anything to help someone in my case! I believe in uplifting people, not tearing them down, but all people aren't like you and I.

[jbtullis 0]

I just made the decision to get the band; I have a date at the end of Feb 07. I have of course told my wife as she will be there. Other than that only my best friend who has battled weight with me for years. Other than that, not planning on telling anyone until afterwards and they notice the loss. Especially not telling my parents until after the surgery. I have no need of the extra stress they will cause with the unsolicted oppinions.

[DevilMayKare 1]

Oh gosh,

You guys have got to check out today's:

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

It is SO appropo to this conversation! (Really interesting site, too.)

As for me I did not tell my family, except for my two sons... and even them after the fact. I told my two best friends and one of the women I work with and I am REALLY GLAD i didn't tell anyone else!

I lost 50# in the first 4 months and then gained it all back just like ANY DIET I'VE EVER BEEN ON. I'm exercising and dieting really strictly now and am starting to lose again, but tool, shmool; the band hasn't made one bit of difference for me--except I'm about $9,000 poorer. At least *everyone* doesn't know and I have to feel like a public failure and fool on top of it.

For those of you planning to make it public knowledge, you might just CONSIDER how you're going to feel if it DOESN'T work for you.

[Louisianagirl 0]

I think everybody I know, knows I was getting this done. I am not keeping it a secret. I feel that it is my decision, not anyone else. People that are not overweight have know idea of what people that are over weight go through in the real world. That is why I don't care what people said about me getting this. This is your life not anyone else. My father was not for this at all but actually he is the one person that always told me something about my weight. I will show him I can do it.

[coltonwade 27]

I told pretty much anyone I'm close to, but wish some I hadn't. I've experienced some unfortunate jelousy amongst people who didn't agree with my procedure, people who were telling me, I wouldn't lose as fast and the lap band was too new...In the end I call that jealousy because in the end my results will be as good if not better than theirs...less loose hanging skin, and my anatomy hadn't been altered.

Will I share this experience with more people? Yes absolutely- anything to help someone in my case! I believe in uplifting people, not tearing them down, but all people aren't like you and I.

That's been my experience. There are some people I told thinking they would be very supportive of me (Namely my best friend of 20 yrs ) and she was probably one of the most negative people . So I wish I had not told her.

I have no issue telling anyone. I feel I know everything about the band I can without being banded (thanks to this site) , So any questions anyone has I can answer w/confidence . And like you said it just benifits my case.

Usually the people who have the most negative things to say are the ones that do not know what they are talking about, do not know enough about the band .

Mindy

[JenL37 0]

My surgery is Feb. 5th and I have told only my husband and business partner. My soon to be ex brother-in-law had gastric bypass four years ago right after he married my sister. Prior to the surgery, he was what I thought to be a great guy, but as soon as he lost the weight he was out cheating on her. My entire family blames the surgery on why he changed and therefore would not be accepting of my choice. This is about me and my issues, and I don't want his bad judgements to cloud the good I am hoping will come from this. My friends, I will tell when I'm ready, but I'm just not there yet. I think this is such a personal choice and you have to tell those who you know in your heart will be behind you unconditionally. Good Luck!