Spouse Not Very Supportive

[Beachbum 70]

My surgery is in a couple of days. I've been thinking about this process for a couple of years and got it started in January of this year. My close famy and friends have been very supportive but my husband hadn't said much. Last night he tells me that he doesn't think it's a good idea but he really doesn't care because I've made my mind up. I said, I'm not asking for your permission but I would appreciate your support. His response was a shrug and "whatever". I think he's nervous and a bit jealous ( he's 50lbs overweight) and worried that HIS way of life will be affected. Did anyone else go through this? Suggestions? Thanks - I'm worried we will become a statistic

[pointer 92]

First of all if u started in January its about time for your surgery date. If he was against this he should've spoke up soon

[pointer 92]

First of all if u started in January its about time for your surgery date. If he was against this he should've spoke up sooner. Also you can't worry about being a statistic. This surgery is a must for you and just continue being a good wife before and after. If he is insecure tell him u wanna work out together and just remind him he is your man and u love him. But surgery is a must for us.

[Anniesmom12 181]

Beachbum, I am afraid I may come against this same thing! My hubby is ok with it, but the closer I get the more he seems put off by my decision to do something positive for myself. It will affect his way of life (my hubby) because he too is overweight and it to the point of not being able to breathe right, has to wear the CPAP for sleep apnea and has all sorts of other medical conditions. I just found out this past week my 15 yo daughter is a borderline diabetic and if I dont get myself under control with this surgery I am afraid she'll be following in my footsteps of unhealthy behaviors. So in doing this for myself to be healthy, I am doing it for them as well! But I have told him many times and I mean it, he fell in love with me when I weighed 370lbs...I would NEVER leave him for any reason, much less because I lose weight! Just keep reassuring him, he'll be ok once he sees hes not losing you, just the unhealthy habits and extra weight you are carrying!

[Lolipop86 9]

I felt the same way you did. Myhusband pretty much didnt say anything to me. I started my process in March and when I told him things at the seminar went good and that I wanted to proceed he said "your crazy, you dont need it" it did bother and hurt me a lot. I sat down with him and had a looooonnngggg talk with him. I todl him I was doing this for both of us. I wanted to be healthy for when we decided to conceive. Being overweight for many years was really hard on us when it came down to starting a family. I am the oldest of 5 and every one of my siblings has a famliy of their own. My grandma and other famil and friends would always ask us " so when are u having a baby" most didnt know that the reason I couldnt get pregnant was because I was obese and had endocrine issues.

After explaing this to my husband he understood me better and was supportive the whole way.However now that my surgery is on Thurs 6/21 he is actaully been telling me he is not so sure i should have it. he mentioned he was afraid to lose me or to see me in pain. NO PAIN NO GAIN RIGHT?! after a while he will then say "well i guess your sticking with it, i cant force you to not do it"

thankfully he is now coming to his senses and is more supportive especially now that i had been on the liquid diet ....he is sensible to the fact i cant eat as much and i am trying my best. he actually cooks for himself and eats when im not around or he will make chicken Soup and save me the broth:) he by the way is a very active hard working construction man. very fast metabolism~~~

Hope it all works out well for u and hopefully your husbands comes around. I have a feeling he will when he sees your putting in all your effort to stick to this~

[Beachbum 70]

Anniesmom - love hearing from you and continue to be amazed at how similar our paths are <3

[Beachbum 70]

Loli - glad to hear I'm not the only one. This is such a personal decision yet affects everything about our families and families to be. I truly hope this gets everything going for you as far as having a family

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

My husband wasn't supported of my decision & he still isn't. I don't care about what he think since he isn't over weight,and never have been. I did this all on my own. Went to all the appointments. I'm down 39pounds since the beginning of my journey.

[Beachbum 70]

Thanks Mami and congrats on your loss!!!

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Thanks Mami and congrats on your loss!!!

thanks

[aleyampat 22]

Beach,

Don't have a husband anymore. My ex though was very skittish when I screwed up and told him. We haven't gotten along very well for years. He was the first text after surgery checking to see if I was ok. Followed by 5 more begging me to answer him cause he was getting worried (10:30 surgery didn't start until 1). He checks on me everyday, which I find hilarious since he's wished me dead many times;)

But my real issue was my dad. He was so opposed I didn't tell him anything more. He knew someone who died post op from complications. Though he couldn't tell me what exactly happened and he got mad when I said you can die from a fracture fix too. I said goodbye to him the morning we left. He was freaked when my mom called him at 12:45 to tell him I was finally on the way to the OR. Now he's come around to the point that he told me to make a list of the foods I news him to pick up at the grocery store. Sometimes it just takes awhile.