Advice And Suggestions For The Spouse

[barkatt 2]

Hi!

I just found this app, and it's been very-very helpful! My wife is 3 days post op, and I'm wondering how I can make things easier for her. Do you guys have any advice or suggestions? I want to make this transition into our new life as comfortable as possible, and since a lot of you guys have been through this, I thought you would be perfect to ask.

Thank you so much!

[berniec 166]

That's great you want to make things better for your wife. You should just help her along. Make sure she is walking. It will really help her pain and gas.

[barkatt 2]

That's great you want to make things better for your wife. You should just help her along. Make sure she is walking. It will really help her pain and gas.

Thank you so much! Today we will be walking more for sure

[dmariesc 84]

Also be sure to be supportive and not jealous. There seems to be a lot of that going on with spouses. It is very important to let her know how great she is doing as she will feel a lot of different emotions as she goes through this transition.

[barkatt 2]

Also be sure to be supportive and not jealous. There seems to be a lot of that going on with spouses. It is very important to let her know how great she is doing as she will feel a lot of different emotions as she goes through this transition.

Yes, I've heard and read a lot about the statistics, not very uplifting, but I will indeed try my very best. Thank you!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

Also be sure to be supportive and not jealous. There seems to be a lot of that going on with spouses. It is very important to let her know how great she is doing as she will feel a lot of different emotions as she goes through this transition.

I 2nd this try to be supportive and not jealous that will just make her feel worse and it will just make your marriage strained! My husband has been jealous lately and it's just pushing him away from me by him bein like that! Also help her out with chores around the house and if you have kids try to keep the kids busy and let her rest!

[Michelle96 13]

I'm nearly 4 months post op and it helps a lot when hubby keeps me on strait and narrow. Your wife's tummy had the bypass not her mind and it's hard getting that understood. I wanted things I couldn't have and I did have melt downs if it wasn't for my hubby helping me threw it I couldn't imagine being where I am now. So be the adult and tell her no she can't have it but help her find alternatives. I also had issue making my own plate because portions so hubby did it for the first month and even made the food for me. Little things like that really helped. Oh and don't eat the things she really likes but can't have in front of her it's cruel, hide them.

[barkatt 2]

I 2nd this try to be supportive and not jealous that will just make her feel worse and it will just make your marriage strained! My husband has been jealous lately and it's just pushing him away from me by him bein like that! Also help her out with chores around the house and if you have kids try to keep the kids busy and let her rest!

Thank you! We're still young and don't have kids yet' date=' so it's just the two of us. I definitely don't want to push her away or be pushed away - which we both agree on. The "stupid" divorce rates are very concerning to me, and I don't want to become a part of the statistic. Hopefully we'll be able to communicate our feelings and concerns throughout all of this.

I'm nearly 4 months post op and it helps a lot when hubby keeps me on strait and narrow. Your wife's tummy had the bypass not her mind and it's hard getting that understood. I wanted things I couldn't have and I did have melt downs if it wasn't for my hubby helping me threw it I couldn't imagine being where I am now. So be the adult and tell her no she can't have it but help her find alternatives. I also had issue making my own plate because portions so hubby did it for the first month and even made the food for me. Little things like that really helped. Oh and don't eat the things she really likes but can't have in front of her it's cruel, hide them.

That's a really good point! I honestly felt a little alianated from her the first couple of days, but the drugs in her system might have something to do with that. That and the fact that I was kind of scared out of my mind and very worried. Not to mention the physical and mental exhaustion she was going through!

We're both learning a lot about healthier eating and living, so I don't think the lifestyle changes in the food department is going to be a problem. Well, apart from my addiction to a little sweet now and then. Alternatives to that won't be a problem, though, as we're prepared to alter our current ideals and thought-processes in regards of "Saturday-sweets". Everything is however so much easier to say, than to do. I know.

I'm trying to be helpful in the kitchen, making meals and keeping an eye on her Protein and Fluid intake. Looking forward to giving her something else than fluids, though - hopefully without the dumping syndrome. So far, so good!

Thank you all for the replies, I really appreciate it. I know I can't feel what she feels, but at least I can try to understand and be as supportive and helpful as possible.

[berniec 166]

Your doing great already just because you asked for advice and your being very supportive. Good luck!

[Beachbum 70]

Wow - so nice to hear how you are trying. My husband does not agree with my decision even though I weigh 375 lbs today and weighed 420 the day our son was born. Support and understanding all the way. Your wife is blessed

[LosingItForMe2011 320]

barkatt - I think it's great that you want to support her in every way you can. Believe me that in itself is helping her more than you know. How about looking up different Protein shake recipes to help change the flavors for her? Making sure she has all her Vitamins set for when she can start taking them again. Perhaps getting her set up with a bento box for when she can eat, some pretty measuring cups and spoons, food scale...all things to make getting the right portions right for her. How about buying a Bariatric cook book for when she's ready to eat regular foods and both of you can cook through the cookbook together That's what hubby and I are going to do.

Good luck to you both

[ChatCat 24]

Keep in mind as she loses weight all the hormones in her body are stored where?? In her fat cells and as she sheds pounds she could very well be emotional, angry, tender, easily agitated etc... The hormones can get tough to deal with so just knowing that might help you understand if this happens. Sounds like you are doing great just being here asking for support! Good luck

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