Negative Best Friend

[Nita1019 23]

My best friend told me last night she did not know why I waned the surgery. If I apply my self I can get the same results. I was really upset I did not get her support. She is very over weight and she knows the health problems that this surgery could help. I feel that I can't talk to her about this and she and this are a huge part of my life how do I not talk to her about it?

[nish 102]

She could be envious, that you won't be her "fat" friend anymore. If it would be that easy then she would or we would not be the sizes we are.

When I told my best friend she is 60 lbs+ over weight and she was saying she would have it too but that she could lose it. Everyone is different and you will get different responses from everyone.

When I told my mom she had nothing negative to say. Where I thought she would some of my coworkers are very against it and believe the same as your friend. But will still support me.

You have all of us no matter what

[john 181]

Get rid if this negative friend. She's clearly jealous!!!

[Nita1019 23]

Thanks Nish that makes me understand that not everyone will like the idea. John Tiffany and I have been best friends really like sisters for 19 yrsbthat is why it is so upsetting. But she will get over it cause it will happen.

[atcgoddess1 37]

Went through the same thing Nita. I go to a therapist weekly to help me with the emotional side of all of this so I don't repeat the same behaviors and eventually regain. She told me to compare it to being an alcoholic with your best friend and all of the sudden you decide to quit drinking. It's natural for her to go on the defensive. My friend and I share "fat" stories, embarrassing "fat" emergency Snacks that we make up and all other sorts of info. So now she is scared that because I have had this surgery the dynamic of our relationship will change. And it probably will. I am still not getting the support that I would like from this person. It used to break my heart. But now that I understand her emotions and why she feels the way that she does, it doesn't hurt me as much anymore. And I am just proving to her by still going to the movies and out to eat...that we can still do the same things we did before. And she's actually slowly coming around. She is taking better care of herself. Eating better...going to the gym. So I hope that once she sees my success she will be inclined to follow in my footsteps. Cause let's face it...we can try to convince ourselves all day long that we are happy...but no one is happy at 250+ pounds!

[Yolyann 56]

This is why i really haven't told any one, im so nervous, emotional and excited about this and i really wouldn't be able to handle anyones negative comments. Ill tell the world (Facebook) lol to pray for me the day of. Only my husband, mom, sisters, and brother know. And i wouldn't have it any other way at this moment.

[Yolyann 56]

My best friend told me last night she did not know why I waned the surgery. If I apply my self I can get the same results. I was really upset I did not get her support. She is very over weight and she knows the health problems that this surgery could help. I feel that I can't talk to her about this and she and this are a huge part of my life how do I not talk to her about it?

I am truly sorry that your friend reacted like that. I couldn't even imagine what that would feel like all that matters is that you know whats right for you. She as your friend should know that if it were easy we would do it. But we need the extra little umphhh, that little push

[Tracym1107 47]

I have two best friends...a guy and a girl. The girl has said from the beginning that she absolutely would not support my decision for wls. She doesn't ask questions and refuses to talk about it. It has really put a strain on our friendship. The guy has supported me through it all and is happy that I actually made a decision to put me first for once in my life. I think it depends on the person and my friend feels she's losing that comfort of knowing she isn't the only fat person in our group of friends. Sad but true! With that said....she is one of the few that don't support me. My husband and close family have supported me from day one! That's what matters. Focus on you and know that you made this decision for yourself!!!!!!

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[Nita1019 23]

It is sad but I just haven't talked to her about it. She is doing this group with church called running for God. I work for orthoaepidic docs so she was asking about support for her ankles. I gave her info and told her I was proud of her for doing it. I have supported her in even the worst of decisions. I have always told her I may not like it but I would be there for her with any thing. I know she will be ok with it because it will happen. I told her we I needed her to keep me accountable before to keep me working out. She said she would. We will see. My husband and family are 100% for it. That keeps me 100% positive.

[lynn 49]

I think its sad that so many of us have lost or will lose a friend because they can't understand why we have chosen the path we have. Having surgery is not an easy out. And its sad that they believe it is. Surgery makes it were i am not hungry 24 7 and if it wasn't for surgery i would still be a smoker. Yea i know that some would say if i could quit for surgery i could have quit any time but i have before and always started back up. This time i can't start back up cause i don't want an ulcer. Once again surgery is a tool and we all need to use it the best we can.

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[Nita1019 23]

Oh my gosh Lynn u are so right. I am now 30 days smoke free and I know I can never start back up. I don't want to be diabetic with high blood pressure killing me faster. I want to live longer. I have been fat pretty much forever I don't care about that appearance ( which of course it is a plus) it is the health issues that will resolve. That is the main reason I am doing it. I went into huge depression last time I was working for this and the new insurance did not cover it. All I could think was that how many years they are taking from me for not covering this procedure. It was really hard to swallow!

[BeckyBoo81 0]

My friend is just recently started acting different towards me not wanting to talk to me or anything I don't understand if because she's had surgery too and there is no reason for her to be jealous of me idk any idea why she would act like this to

me? Thanx

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[pointer 92]

People need to realize that just because she might be a friend or whatever, doesn't matter. God places people in our lives for seasons, everyone is not supposed to be there forever.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Sorry your friend is acting this way. I don't understand why ppl act this way your doing it for health reasons or to avoid health problems. The few friends I have are not fat. My best friend is bigger then me but been on a diet & she supports me all the way.

[Nita1019 23]

She will get over it!